Hi. My name is B and I think my boyfriend might be gay. I have known him for a long time and recently he has had a lot of problems getting hard when we want to have sex unless I am bent over with my butthole spread open.:confused: He has also been commenting on our guy friends' and judging which ones are attractive. He has kissed a couple guys but he said that they were just bets. I also caught him masterbating to male porn one day when I came home from class. Apparently he was just scrolling through.

I love him but I don't know what to do.
Can someone help me out?

Sounds like he's gay. You can still love him while letting him go sexually. Pursue a heterosexual relationship and set him free to explore what he may prefer.

Oh brother-so that MAKES him gay? Why don't you ask some relevant questions? Why don't you say YOU are not comfortable with the way you are having sex? He may be curious or bisexual or just like the "attractiveness" of a mans body-who knows? But what you describe does not preclude him to be homosexual-for a start he has had sex with you-you are a girl...

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Originally Posted by Xrayman

oh brother-so that MAKES him gay? Why don't you ask some relevant questions? why don't you say YOU are not comfortable with the way you are having sex? he may be curious or bisexual or just like the "attractiveness" of a mans body-who knows? but what you describe does not preclude him to be homosexual-for a start he has had sex with you-you are a girl...

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Hey, I thought of all of that. From a female's perspective, sexual position, and climax are the important things. Additionally, if he's having trouble getting hard unless he's (we suppose) pretending that she's a guy, uh, can be a bit of a negative. Women in general are more interested in romance, talking, doing things that are fun for both them and their boyfriends. The excitement aspect engendered by porn, fantasy and exploration are not as important for women, in general. So while you make a pertinent point, you have not addressed what I feel is the actual question she was asking.

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Why don't you ask some relevant questions? Why don't you say YOU are not comfortable with the way you are having sex?

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Is that not answering the question she asked? I gave a possible starting question she could ask.. oh well. Staring out with that question will hopefully lead to further ones regarding his sexuality. But fair enough, that you picked me up on my post-cheers.

Thanks x-rayman, I am much too curt. You did answer the question! You approached it in a logical way addressing the issue as it was presented. I tried to read the mind of the questioner. Reading minds (unless a person can really do it) is just an assumption.

No worries!

Maybe he is bi? My ex boyfriend :D was the same way he had sex with a manwoman onetime and he had shemale porn on his phone and he sweared up and down he wasn't gay I knew he was he also had issues getting hard... move on.

You have to understand some things about sex; for one thing, healthy men can have sex with just about anything! :D

He may be thinking of you as an anus, not as a person who is hot to please herself with his penis. You might want to ask yourself if you know what turns you on and go after it with him... I'm saying, maybe you are too passive and haven't developed your sexuality.

Society really has sexuality backwards... females are the powerful complicated sexuality. Males are simply there to please with their apparatus!

Good Luck!

Yes, he's gay. But it helps foreplay.

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malin20 : U sound Offensive!! He's kissed men before, masturbated to Male porn, basically committing on fashion. Oh Yeah! Dat is a Straight man!!

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I should give you a reddie for that, but I will contain myself out of respect to you.

For a start, my post was not offensive. Secondly have you never heard of experimentation/fantasy? Going by your post, If we were put in prison for fantasy and/or one-off experiments, we'd all be incarcerated. Lastly, learn how to type and spell before posting, as it shows a lack of interest in answering the post and a gross misunderstanding of the issues.

Don't judge him that quick.. but if he is masterbating to male porn and kissing guys (Even for bets) I think the idea of liking men is in his head.. so just be careful and see what happens.

Yeah he's gay I caught him having sex on my bed with one of my friends. He was spanking his butt and saying how tight he was. He loved it, oh well.

If you had agreed to a monogamous relationship, then I'm sorry you're having to go through the emotional shock and aftermath of experiencing that.

Also, it is almost inevitable that we take things like this personally, and I can only assure you that it has nothing to do with you and you are not "deficient" in any way.

Sexuality is just not black and white, as much as we try to make it that way. It is extremely difficult for a person coming from a straight perspective to understand why someone would be in a straight relationship when they're actually gay, or completely deny they're gay. It happens every day, though. There is tremendously complex inner conflict happening when someone finds that they're not attracted to the opposite sex. This is not the societal norm and can often be a difficult journey, and many people don't express their natural preference because of that. This conflict can last a lifetime, through heterosexual marriage, children, straight relationships, and very often expressed in outspoken homophobia or homosexual bigotry and intolerance. Not to mention self-hatred and loathing.

So, do gay people have heterosexual relationships? Yes. Do they do so to torture their straight partner or deceive them? No. Are they trying to be someone they're not? Yes.

I hope you are able to move on and heal well from this experience, and I wish you well.

Well he is either gay, bi-sexual, curious orr just different