My sister has been going through a lot of problems. Drug problems and now since my parents know, they do not trust her. My sister has a boyfriend who got her into all of this and does not admit it
I do not understand what I should tell my sister so she can realize that she needs to put an end to this and to start clean...

How old are you? How old is your sister?

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Originally Posted by J_9

How old are you? How old is your sister?

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I am 19 And she is 22

In all honesty, there is not much you can tell your sister. She is an adult and has to make her own choices. If you try to help her, she may feel that you are "butting into" her business and resent you.

Although you may want to help, and that is very admirable, this is now between your sister and your parents. It's best if you just stay out of it completely.

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Originally Posted by J_9

In all honesty, there is not much you can tell your sister. She is an adult and has to make her own choices. If you try to help her, she may feel that you are "butting into" her business and resent you.

Although you may want to help, and that is very admirable, this is now between your sister and your parents. It's best if you just stay out of it completely.

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Yea I know but she keeps putting me in it.. that's why. She comes to me for advise and I do not know what else to tell her... I found her passed out the other day and took her to the e-room I found out she overdosed from cocaine!

I see, she is putting you on the spot and that is not right nor fair to you. What a terrible position she has put you in.

Addiction is terrible, worse so for the people who care about the addict than the addict themselves.

She was really lucky to have you that day, it could have killed her if you weren't there.

But sometimes we just have to step back and let the addict take their own paths. They can lead us down a path of self destruction in their own way if we let them. You need to tell her that you are done with the behavior and that until she chooses to get help, you don't want to be involved any more.

Yeah, it's hard, but sometimes we have to let them make their own choices, good or bad.

I would suggest you see if there is a Narc-Anon in your community. They can help you greatly.

Yes I know you are right. But its hard to step aside and watch your big sister, the one you looked up at just fail and go down a path to no where

Yes, it is very hard. I don't wish to ever be in your position.

But with my background I know that they have to make their choices. If you interfere, no matter how hard you are trying to help, one of 2 things will happen... She will resent you for butting in to her business or... you will get terribly hurt because you try so hard and she doesn't listen to you.

It is not right that she is putting you in this position. You have to tell her that she either 1) get help or 2) you wash your hands of her.

Sometimes it takes the loss of a loved one (you), through tough love, for the addict to realize they are addicted.

I believe you have a point... I guess I should just let it go.. tell her that I'm done trying to help her and to just leave her to help herself

Sometimes tough love is necessary to get the point across. You don't need the drama, you really don't.

See if you have a NarcAnon in your area, they can really be helpful.

Dear Glimmer -

This is a terrible situation to be in. I totally understand how you feel because I've experienced this with my younger sister. For a few years I tried to give good advice and love & encourage her and things continued to get worse. It helped my conscience to know I was trying but did nothing for her. She did resent me and ignorned my advice. We didn't speak for several months.

I love her dearly and it tore me up to just stand by and let her take her chosen course. But, now I've finally realized that IS what I have to do. I was always the one heartbroken and crying for her and she was out partying and "living" her life. No matter how much I worried about her it never helped and ONLY hurt me.

Things have gotten better, even though she isn't where I hoped she would be yet. But, I am A LOT more sane and peaceful inside. I gave this up to God and asked him to deal with it. Since then, I've realized that we are all on our own paths and we all learn lifes lessons at our own pace. The addict is the ONLY person who can help their situation, they have to want to change in order to change.

God bless you. You're a GREAT "little" sister!

Thank you oh so much for that advise. I really appreciate it