Sooner_gurl,
I'm so sorry you had to go through that so young. It's a very delicate subject, don't let anything I say offend you. We have lost a young family member too, and each of us deal with it differently. My daughter collects angels and I collect teddy bears, we have them on a special shelf in memory of her. Grief is one of the processes that lasts the longest. It's a very natural process, and it can't be rushed. But it can be made a little easier if you can think about your baby and smile a little. My belief is that that is how he would like to see you if he could. I know how you feel because I have felt it too. The thing that helped me and my daughter was imagining how our little one would want to see us, and I know she wouldn't want to see us miserable. She would want to see us getting on with our life. I wish you well, I really do. :)