Ask Me Help Desk - Estalishing parternity

I will be testing the potinal father of my child after 7 years. The problem is I cheated on my on my then boyfriend who thought was the father up until till now... so whether than test him. I ask the other guy to take the test. My question is before we go to take the test can we have paternity drawn up to relinquish his right before we get the result and would they(relinquish parternity papaers) be binding in the courts if he decide to week joint custody of the child. And let me add that he has never seen the child, so he has no emotional bond to this child. Or should I going with our life and never mention getting test and let my boyfriend keep thinking that he is the father??
Stuck in New Jersey?? HELP

Hello lady:

You want to screw up several people's lives, INCLUDING YOUR CHILD'S, because of your conscience??

I wouldn't do that!

excon

Yes, no there is no way a person can give away any rights they do not have yet. You have to have the DNA test, and then you can go to court, in court you can get him to sign over his rights, *** but signing over rights does not stop child support unless there is an adoption, so any man is silly to sign over rights and still be forced to pay.

And you are doing this very wrongly, you are suppose to have all possible fathers tested, since just proving he is not, does not prove the other man is, so both needed to be tested for any legal proof.

Well I am confused as to why you are doing the DNA test if you both agree to him giving up his rights to the child??

I am assuming your boyfriend is on the birth certificate and wholeheartly believes this 7 year old is his child?

What is your reasoning for wanting to do this DNA test?

Quote:

Originally Posted by excon

Hello lady:

You want to screw up several people's lives, INCLUDING YOUR CHILD’S, because of your conscience?????

I wouldn't do that!!

excon

No I'm not trying to screw up anyone's life. But I think that my child would be hurt because I didn't do it now that I found the other guy by accident. What if he is the father for medical purpose I think it should be known. AND YES BECAUSE OF MY CONSCIENCE...

Quote:

Originally Posted by macksmom

Well I am confused as to why you are doing the DNA test if you both agree to him giving up his rights to the child?????

I am assuming your boyfriend is on the birth certificate and wholeheartly believes this 7 year old is his child?

What is your reasoning for wanting to do this DNA test?

No there is no father on birth certificate... because in the beginning my boyfriend never sign the birth certificate. We had broken up due to my cheating.. So he was not at the hospital to sign it. We got back together later on(about 2 months) and he never questioned me about if the child is his. So for years I thought that my boyfriend was the father but I ran until the other guy one day.
And my son resembles him a lot. We talk and I told him that I thought my son could be his, he initial was hesitant about doing the DNA test(for what ever reason I think he thinks that I want money.. and I don't) change his mind and we are going do the test in 2weeks.
I want to have my heart free from the lie. And to be able to tell my son when he gets older the truth and hopes that he understand that I did everything for him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lady luck

No there is no father on birth certificate...because in the beginning my boyfriend never sign the birth certificate. We had broken up due to my cheating..So he was not at hte hospital to sign it. We got back together later on(about 2 months) and he never questioned me about if the child is his. So for years i thought that my boyfriend was the father but i ran until the other guy one day.
And my son resembles him alot. We talk and I told him that i thought my son could be his, he inital was hesitant about doing the DNA test(for what ever reason i think he thinks that i want money.. and i don't) change his mind and we are going do the test in 2weeks.
I want to have my heart free from the lie. And to be able to tell my son when he gets older the truth and hopes that he understand that i did everything for him.

Ok so no one is on the birth certificate... ok.

Well you can get the paternity test done, if this guy turns out to be the father he cannot sign away his rights.
There will now be documented proof that he is the father and if you are receiving any kind of welfare, they will go after him for child support because they don't want to raise this child the parents need to.
If the paternity test proves that he is the father, that is all he needs to take you to court and petition for joint custody and visitation.

Again, he will not be able to relinquish his rights.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lady luck

I want to have my heart free from the lie.

Hello lady:

I know you're NOT doing this for the purpose of screwing up people's lives. But, I hope you see that if you continue on the same course, that's exactly what will happen.

The time to have been honest was 7 years ago. Now, it's too late.

If you do it now, 1) your b/f will be devastated - and I mean really, really hurt and disappointed, 2) you open yourself up visitation, 3) the state will collect child support from him even it you don't want it, 4) your child is going to know. It's going to devastate him - and I mean really, really hurt him - and he's SEVEN, 5) the other guy is going to be devastated to find out that he has a child that you didn't bother to tell him about - and I mean really, really hurt.

You're going to do ALL this, because of your conscience. Like I said, I wouldn't do it.

excon