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-   -   He cheated I still love him and there's a baby involved what do I do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=153029)

  • Nov 17, 2007, 07:35 AM
    Peter-rabbit-98
    He cheated I still love him and there's a baby involved what do I do?
    :mad: I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, things were good but then I fell pregnant at five months pregnant he went weird then I found out him and my "best friend":mad: had a little thing going on I let it go he said it was nothing then 2 months after my son was born we had a major fight and he left we worked things out while I was at a family members but when I got home he had been seeing her the whole time I got mad but let it go now 5 months on he says we are OK but he also says back then he was only with me for the sex but now he is in love with me and wants to get married and have more kids I am so hurt and angry what do I do? My baby needs a father
  • Nov 17, 2007, 08:31 AM
    jolienoire
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Peter-rabbit-98
    :mad: i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, things were good but then i fell pregnant at five months pregnat he went weird then i found out him and my "best friend":mad: had a little thing going on i let it go he said it was nothing then 2 months after my son was born we had a major fight and he left we worked things out while i was at a family members but when i got home he had been seeing her the whole time i got mad but let it go now 5 months on he says we are ok but he also says back then he was only with me for the sex but now he is in love with me and wants to get married and have more kids i am so hurt and angry what do i do? my baby needs a father



    You're baby needs a father? Most importantly a Happy mother.. First he stepped boundaries, sleeping with your "best friend" (she is no such) but anyway, the trust is level has been broken.. Secondly, he needs to know that this really hurt you. And to add salt to the wound he did it while you were carrying his child.. But that's beside the point.. The only person that can answer your question is you. Besides the fact you need a baby father, (He can still be such without being with you) What have you gained from this relationship? How is the communication level? Do you trust him? Does he make you feel loved? Does he help you? Is he sensitive to your feelings? Do you want to spend the rest of you life with him? Those are the questions you need to answer and figure out if this is what you want, I would talk to him more about it... Which would tell if he is willing to work it out, if he responds and expects you to forget about it, then you need to reevaluate your relationship and ask yourself what are you to gain out of this besides him being the kid father..

    Listen, I know what you must feel, I praise you for staying, because I wouldn't have been able too, but some people are more forgiving than others, I am divorced mother of two, husband cheated.. I could never trust him again, I finally realized I had nothing to gain, I was emotionally bruised, this decision didn't come overnight but overtime.. You will begin to come to your senses and decide what you want to do.. We are not together but my kids still have a father.. I can't stand that we have a broken home, but I had a broken heart, and everyday to look at him, I use to feel sad depressed, I couldn't believed he did this to me. One day I just couldn't cry no more, I got over that he cheated, and was able to let go knowing I did all I can do..

    Good luck and follow you intuition.. your heart.. your gut!
  • Nov 17, 2007, 08:38 AM
    sizwe
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Peter-rabbit-98
    :mad: i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, things were good but then i fell pregnant at five months pregnat he went weird then i found out him and my "best friend":mad: had a little thing going on i let it go he said it was nothing then 2 months after my son was born we had a major fight and he left we worked things out while i was at a family members but when i got home he had been seeing her the whole time i got mad but let it go now 5 months on he says we are ok but he also says back then he was only with me for the sex but now he is in love with me and wants to get married and have more kids i am so hurt and angry what do i do? my baby needs a father

    The most important thing to ask about yourself is the baby. Do you want your baby to grow up with a father or not. If you do, then the second thing is to ask yourself if you get married with him. Are you sure he will not cheat again. The answer rest with you I can only provide guidelines for you to think about and make your decision. The reason being I am not in your position and I don't know if your relationship is going alone well or not.
    In my view I will say do not marry him cause there is a high risk he will cheat again, or on the other hand a baby growing up with a father figure will have consequences.

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