How would U react if suddenly your girlfriend told you that she's not a virgin anymore? Although she lost it when she's 17, but she really regrets giving it to her ex...

What must I do and set my mind? My relationship mind is quite traditional one... I keeps on getting reminded that she's not a virgin anymore (which means that she's an easy type). While I'm still a virgin :(

I don't think it means she's easy. If she regrets it, I also think that shows she's not easy, and if it's only been one person, I really don't think u shld jump to any conclusions.
How come you're so affected by it? Were you planning to wait till marriage?
Remember, she's still the same person that you liked to begin with.

Well would she be just as easy if she would have lost her virginity to you? I doubt it well until you two broke up. Are you waiting for marriage because if you are maybe she is not the girl for you I mean you did call her easy how much could you care for her anyway??

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by myecee

well would she be just as easy if she would of lost her virginity to you? I doubt it well until you two broke up. Are you waiting for marriage because if you are maybe she is not the girl for you i mean you did call her easy how much could you care for her anyways???

---

Thanks. This answer really struck my mind.

She had sex with people in the past. Most people do. They probably enjoyed it to but the person is with you now, end of!

The past is the past, accept it or find someone who doesn't have sex before marrige... so they say.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by xyng

How would U react if suddenly ur girlfriend told u dat she's not a virgin anymore? Although she lost it when she's 17, but she really regrets giving it to her ex...

What must I do and set my mind? My relationship mind is quite traditional one... I keeps on getting reminded dat she's not a virgin anymore (which means dat she's an easy type). While I'm still a virgin :(

---

I'll tell you what. If you live in a Western industrialized country you better get used to it. I'm in my mid 20's living in SE USA and I have yet to meet a woman my age who is still a virgin. In fact, if I do, that's usually an oddity and for some strange, not always positive, reason. They are out there, but most people in this age are a bit more liberal. It's not the 50's you know. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I'm just giving my experiences.

Personally my fiancé and I BOTH were virgin's when we started dating. It wasn't until 3-4 months into dating we got engadged and started having sex. I know this is ovious, but once again.. some people don't care who they frick. Some do. Your chick either had sex because she was lose, or because she really liked him at the time. OR she was forced. You should ask her. And to avoid any future probs if you stay togeher get a aids test. Make sure you both are in the clear. VERY important. But I was like you. I didn't want to have sex right off the bat. I had dated for yrs before meeting my fiancé (3rs) an nvr did anything sexual. So when we got engadged and I knew this is who I was going to be with I changed my opinon about sex. And so might you. Just don't let anyone pull you into it. If you don't feel your rdy then your not.. end of story. I'm not sure what to say here, because you didn't give much to go off. But being 21, and in a sexual relationship I can say that after you have sex with your partner.. things start to revolve or "seem" too revolve around it. -Not saying that's bad, but if you aren't rdy for that once again stay away. I think its admirable that your wanting to stay virgin until you find the right person. I was glad I found my man in the same thought of mind. If you really like this girl, and get past the "i had sex once" and if you like her a lot.. an she treats you well then sure it can feel like its unfair or werid she did it and you didn't, but when you both start wanting to be more sexual in the future you probably will be willing to look past it.

Just stay safe and don't do anything foolishly. Make your own mind up don't like people do it for you, hope it works out good luck.

Megg

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by xyng

What must I do and set my mind? My relationship mind is quite traditional one... I keeps on getting reminded dat she's not a virgin anymore (which means dat she's an easy type). While I'm still a virgin :(

---

Exactly what traditions are you talking about?
Consult your church. Ask your older male relatives what they would do without telling them all about her.
There must have been something that attracted you to her such as common interests, values, communication, etc.
If you insist on a virgin then find one.. and please forgive and forget her and let her go on with her life. I don't think you have a right to judge and/or proclaim her as 'easy', not in this century.

Good luck, and continue on your search.. but do no judge on the way.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

Yeah, I think what is most important is that you are not judgemental about her or anyone's choices when they don't involve you.

LMAO!! Oh wait did I laugh out loud? O.o okay look dating a girl who is not a virgin is not that big a deal. And just cause she has had sex before does not necessarily mean she is better. As for easy? She had sex with ONE guy ONE! And she REGRETS IT! That means more then likely it was with a guy she thought she really liked and their relationship ended terribly! That's not easy. Easy is a girl who has slept with 30 guys in one month :P. Me and an ex got intimate and did everything except sex (We almost did, again doesn't mean I'm easy, it means I was almost ready for that with him... but he used me so it doesn't matter), but when I started getting that way with my current boyfriend (whom I love and adore) it seems like he's better at everything! I'm the shy one! And he was the one who had never done anything except kiss normally! ^.~ so her being a virgin makes no difference. Ultimate question though is... Do you love her? Do you like her company? Do you get along?

Now if you answered yes to the above questions then don't worry!! The only difference between virgin and not virgin is a little tiny piece of tissue blocking off your kouchie :P hehe so don't worry

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by BiWiccanAndProud

LMAO!!! Oh wait did I laugh out loud? O.o okay look dating a girl who is not a virgin is not that big a deal. And just cause she has had sex before does not necessarily mean she is better. As for easy? She had sex with ONE guy ONE!! And she REGRETS IT!! That means more then likely it was with a guy she thought she really liked and their relationship ended terribly!! That's not easy. Easy is a girl who has slept with 30 guys in one month :P. Me and an ex got intimate and did everything except sex (We almost did, again doesn't mean I'm easy, it means I was almost ready for that with him... but he used me so it doesn't matter), but when I started getting that way with my current bf (whom I love and adore) it seems like he's better at everything!! I'm the shy one!! And he was the one who had never done anything except kiss normally!! ^.~ so her being a virgin makes no difference. Ultimate question though is... Do you love her? Do you like her company? Do you get along?

Now if you answered yes to the above questions then don't worry!!! The only difference between virgin and not virgin is a little tiny piece of tissue blocking off your kouchie :P hehe so don't worry

---

I deff agree to most part. But The only difference between virgin and not virgin is a little tiny piece of tissue blocking off your kouchie :P.. not so much. I mean sure techniqually yea. But there's a lot more to it then that. I don't know about you, but the diff's can be a lot. Peraonally I don't look at sex as a everyday nessessity or w/e some people think. It's much more then that an I certainly don't think people should do it just because they "feel" like they like someone enough to do it. I mean for god's sake YOUR giving your body and feelings to someone. Sharing a INTIMATE time with them.

Exactly I was putting in the physical part :P the girl has said she regreted it. And I don't look at it like a nessessity either, sorry I should have clarified. I think that it is a nessessity eventually! Right away no, but if you've been together a long time and you love them, sex can bring you closer. Me and my boyfriend we are a lot closer since we started having sex, but we still love each other. You should be having a lot of emotions to have sex with someone. I wanted to wait to give it away to the man I was sure I'd be with forever and I found him. Maybe this girl felt the same way, turned out it was not what she thought, and now feels bad. I definitely agree with you though Megg... to many people treat sex like an everyday thing when that's not what it is.

What is set in my mind now is Megg's opinion... INTIMATE... IT hurts when one imagine her doing it... especially in eastern culture. But BiWiccanAndProud, has a point too, she might be loss when she's doing it. May point could lead to sex...

So, get over the virgin thingy, or find a new GF

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by questionable life

So, get over the virgin thingy, or find a new GF

---

Basically...

ASK THIS

Do you like her?

Do you want to be with her?

Are you willing to forgive her when she makes a "forgiveable" mistake?

Are you caring?

Can you care for someone other then you?

Then if YES to most, I say forget it. She had sex. But clearly you like maybe love this girl. What if your purfect together? What if you could get married in the future? Your willing to not try out the possibility of happiness?

If NO to most.. . You have some issues. You don't deserve her. Be alone to think on things.

BUT You need to ask her the questions that are bothering you... I KNO you have some. ASK her. What kind of girl for you would not answer?

Her past is just that her past, she did not even have to tell you, ( you would have never really known) while it may be great for you to be the first, unless you planned on waiting till marriage, you were going to have sex with her also before marriage.

You leave her past behind, and it should not even be a issue at all.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Her past is just that her past, she did not even have to tell you, ( you would have never really known) while it may be great for you to be the first, unless you planned on waiting till marriage, you were going to have sex with her also before marriage.

You leave her past behind, and it should not even be a issue at all.

---

I agree father. However, in a serous relationship I would like to know if my partner had preivious sexual encounters. For safety's sake. Also its just nice to know where they come from. I told my fiancé everything about me. Bc I'm in a serous relationship I don't mind telling him-even if it hurts. Better no sercrets then tons. >_>

But consider this: Intimate
YOUR giving your body and feelings to someone. Sharing a INTIMATE time with them.

This means that she's given the body and feelings to someone else. But now, you...

So? How do you interpret this?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by questionable life

But consider this: Intimate
YOUR giving your body and feelings to someone. Sharing a INTIMATE time with them.

This means that she's given the body and feelings to someone else. But now, you...

So? How do you interpret this?

---

Depends on who you ask. Intimacy is highly subjective. It's like asking what is Love? A hundred thousand different answers await your question. What's important is what you feel of it and how you react to others and their views. You might find someone who shares the same sentiment as you and if they don't you have to choose how to react. You can react with tolerance which is preferable or you cannot. I would say to stick with her. It's not that big of a deal in your specific circumstance. Don't let it define who she is, much like I bet you wouldn't want to be known only as the "virgin".