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-   -   Sad and lonely. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=152744)

  • Nov 16, 2007, 09:30 AM
    llilac1
    Sad and lonely.
    Hello all

    I just finished a story with a man I really love. We were never together for real... he is way too complicated and scared of comitment. He loves me but won't compromise.
    Right now I am devastated... I feel so lonely and sad. I live abroad and have no friends... he was the only person I had here!

    I really don't know what to do to feel better!!
  • Nov 16, 2007, 11:12 AM
    dedeca
    Why is he the only person you have?

    Its is hard feeling lonely... and it is hard breaking up.
    What you have to think about is if it is worth it to be in a relationship with someone who won't commit. You will always want him to give you things that he maybe is not able to give you.

    You should also try working on making some friends... it doesn't sound like its easy living abroad and all alone!
  • Nov 16, 2007, 11:26 AM
    llilac1
    You know what makes me very confused is the fact the we were never in a relationship but still lived as a couple shared ours lives like a normal couple. He cannot commit though. He is too scared of changes, but that's in his mind. While he doesn't commit to the relationship it is fine acting as if we were actulally having a relationshp. I understand this way it is much easier because there is a limit to it. He can go just as far as he wishes. It is sad knowing we can be so so happy but that he will not open up. I love him dearly.

    I don't know now if I should not contact him. I am very confused. Like many other couples in complicated situations we have this frequent breaking up making up thing. This time it seems more serious though. I asked him to leave me alone for a while. He says he cannot envolve all the people in his life and change their lives because he wants to be in a relationship. I want to be with him but I want to do the whole thing.
  • Nov 16, 2007, 02:30 PM
    enigmagnetic
    What is the whole thing? It seems like he was giving you a relationship. I don't get it. Is it that he wouldn't pop the big question? Was he seeing others. I don't know. Also you seem to have been to available.

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