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-   -   I get hard but can't (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=152716)

  • Nov 16, 2007, 08:10 AM
    hardtofinish
    I get hard but can't
    Ok, I'm a 40 year old man that loves sex but as I have gotten older reaching an orgasm has become increasingly harder. I don't have any trouble getting or staying hard. I have to try so hard that it makes every muscle in my body hurt (hurts her too) and it also takes forever even when I am masturbating. I don't use pills or drink enough that would effect anything. Any thoughts?
  • Nov 16, 2007, 02:38 PM
    tickle
    Why don't you make it easier on yourself (and her) and take an enhancer.
  • Nov 23, 2007, 06:54 AM
    hardtofinish
    Hello Tickle, Please tell me more about enhancers? I have not tried anything like that and am not even sure I know what they are? Thanks!
  • Nov 23, 2007, 07:01 AM
    Fuzzbomb
    Have you tried watching porn? Maybe you're not mentally stimulated as much as when it was new! Let go and let it flow!
  • Nov 23, 2007, 07:04 AM
    excon
    Hello hard:

    Or, you could get some Viagra from your doctor. Even those guys who have a teensy little problem such as yours can benefit GREATLY from Viagra. Not only does it keep you ROCK hard, you last longer and your orgasm is very, very intense. It's REALLY good stuff.

    excon
  • Nov 23, 2007, 07:08 AM
    hardtofinish
    Actually, I think porn may be part of the problem -- I have always liked it and used it but now it's just not enough. Viagra only makes it worse because I still can't but it keeps me harder longer.
  • Nov 23, 2007, 07:11 AM
    hardtofinish
    Is it possible that I have gotten so used to hard core porn that I just can't get there with normal sex anymore?
  • Nov 23, 2007, 07:24 AM
    edzmedz
    The guy just said he has a perfect hard on and you recommend viagra? Those drug companies have really brainwashed you dead lol

    hardtofinish you are just bored with sex that's all.. or want more excitement and can't find it in the regular sex you are having.. have you tried to bring in new things like sex gadgets or maybe an additional sex partner(although that usually means problems for your couple)
    U are 40 so that's like 35 years of sex hehe you need to try new things;)
  • Nov 23, 2007, 07:32 AM
    hardtofinish
    I don't think that it is just that I am bored with sex because I can't even make myself regardless of stimulation like porn etc. I appreciate your help though.
  • Nov 23, 2007, 07:36 AM
    excon
    Hello again, hard:

    Ok. But, I don't think the problem is in your head. I think it's STILL a physical one. I think you need somebody to check out your prostate. Bend over!

    excon
  • Nov 23, 2007, 07:40 AM
    edzmedz
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by excon
    Hello again, hard:

    Ok. But, I don't think the problem is in your head. I think it's STILL a physical one. I think you need somebody to check out your prostate. Bend over!

    excon

    excon you naughty man lol I think you spent too much time in jail;)

    If he has a prostate problem he would have erection problems I think which isn't the case.. I think he is just focusing too much on wanting an orgasm and a watched pot doesn't boil now does it...
  • Nov 23, 2007, 07:46 AM
    excon
    Hello again:

    Let me sum it up this way. It's true. I really don't know a hell of a lot about what's going on down there. What I DO know, is that it's not in working order. Therefore, in my view, hardtofinish needs to speak to his doctor.

    Now, I think the doctor will slap on the rubber gloves, cause even if I went in for an ingrown toenail, my doctor would. But I ain't no doctor.

    excon

    PS> You're right. I AM naughty, and I DID spend too much time in jail.
  • Nov 23, 2007, 07:46 AM
    edzmedz
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by hardtofinish
    Is it possible that I have gotten so used to hard core porn that I just can't get there with normal sex anymore?

    What sort of porn turns you on? Anything extreme? U could try to bring whatever it is that you like in those movies you watch into your bedrom.. but sometimes fantasies don't translate well in the real world though so you might get even more disappointed..
  • Nov 23, 2007, 07:48 AM
    edzmedz
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by excon
    Hello again:

    Let me sum it up this way. It's true. I really don't know a hell of a lot about what's going on down there. What I DO know, is that it's not in working order. Therefore, in my view, hardtofinish needs to speak to his doctor.

    Now, I think the doctor will slap on the rubber gloves, cause even if I went in for an ingrown toenail, my doctor would. But I ain't no doctor.

    excon

    PS> You're right. I AM naughty, and I DID spend too much time in jail.

    I think your doctor is just turned on and is taking advantage of the situation so watch out;)
  • Nov 23, 2007, 07:55 AM
    hardtofinish
    Nothing too extreme but I don't think she would get into it. We tried a few times but it works best for me when I am alone... or at least used to work for me.
  • Nov 23, 2007, 08:00 AM
    hardtofinish
    Part of the problem might be that I am used to being with women that are a little slutty and kinky and now I am with a woman that I love for many other reasons so it's a change for me because there is so much more to it then sex. I don't think she is the problem because I can't even get myself off anymore.
  • Nov 23, 2007, 08:06 AM
    hardtofinish
    Maybe you could loan her to me and see if she can help solve my problem? ;))
  • Nov 24, 2007, 11:17 AM
    zelda
    Use fetishes man.. thats what I do and it is really fun because I can't stand regular boring sex
  • Nov 25, 2007, 06:42 PM
    Choux
    It is important to understand that sex is not just mechanical, but that the passion, the intangibles, are what pushes a person over the edge to fantastic orgasms... expecially as a person gets older.

    When sex is work... forget it. A person' s passion is dead for whatever reason.

    Porn eventually kills a person's best and passionate sexuality... ask long time porn users. Or, listen to Howard Stern... a wasteland of destroyed male sexuality..

    I would venture that you quit having sex, masturbating, watching porn, doing anything sexual and see if you can get some normal unforced human feelings and passions back... I think you can... but when they start coming back, don't act on anything.. just appreciate and love the feelings.

    Best Wishes

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