Ask Me Help Desk - I'm confused :( Please help me!

Hi, I just want some one to tell me what to do or to help me. Ok. Last year in mexico, in December, I met this guy and at first I didn't like him. Every time he would talk to me, I would be saying on my head "Stay away from me u freak" I know that I was mean, but I don't think of it that way anymore. Days passed and we got to know each other better. Then one day I found out that he liked me, by my sister. Then two days later at night I was like hearts or the cupid images, I asked my sister if she had seen them but she said that I was crazy. Which sometimes I do think I was. What I ask myself is if that is love? Or do I like him? Or what's going on with me? This is the first guiy that I have liked because of how he is, because to tell you the truth I don't see him cute. So I don't know. And another thing, I have been trying to forget him, well actaully I knid of forgot him (it took me seven to forget him). The problem is that my parents are taking me to mexico again. And I'm afraid to see him again and do the same thing over again.
Can anyone please help? What should I do? :confused:

Dear, it sounds from your post that you are still pretty young, but there is one lesson that you already did learn, LOOKS ARE NOT EVERYTHING. This will help you in the future. You did not tell us what you were afraid of when you see him again: that you will do something you don't want to do yet? or 'fall' for him all over again? etc. Do you have a steady boyfriend at home? There are so many questions that still need answers, even if not to us, to yourself. Would your parents approve of him, because if you are still young and not independent, then they do have a say-so in your life and you should not be rebellious at this stage. Have you and your sister talked about this and what does she think?
You see, more questions... so try and get back with us and explain a little more, and we'll help you as much as we can.
Your feeling and anxieties are completely normal, so don't get embarrassed and let it out in the open, this will put your mind at ease.
Get back with us soon and until then, please don't do anything that you might regret later, good luck.

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Hi,
This is the first boy you have actually liked? There will be many, many of them you will like; take my word for it.
If this is the only time you ever saw him, then you must live quite a distance from Mexico. This is something that happens to many people; meet someone, and like them, then have to go back home, away from them.
Friends are made almost every day, and boyfriends will come and go.
So, for now, you are worried about what to do, about something that might not even happen. You might not even see the boy again!
If you do, and want to talk with him, then do it. Just remember, this relationship probably won't "go anywhere", cause you are too far apart for him to actually be a "boyfriend".
Start meeting some new boys in the area in which you live, and talking with them will help you forget people you meet in "faraway" places. Besides, you might even meet another boy this time in Mexico that you like better than him. Life is full of surprises, and fun!
I do wish you the best of luck.

Dear, it sounds from your post that you are still pretty young, but there is one lesson that you already did learn, LOOKS ARE NOT EVERYTHING. This will help you in the future. You did not tell us what you were afraid of when you see him again: that you will do something you don't want to do yet? or 'fall' for him all over again? etc. Do you have a steady boyfriend at home? There are so many questions that still need answers, even if not to us, to yourself. Would your parents approve of him, because if you are still young and not independent, then they do have a say-so in your life and you should not be rebellious at this stage. Have you and your sister talked about this and what does she think?
You see, more questions... so try and get back with us and explain a little more, and we'll help you as much as we can.
Your feeling and anxieties are completely normal, so don't get embarrassed and let it out in the open, this will put your mind at ease.
Get back with us soon and until then, please don't do anything that you might regret later, good luck.

Hello :) Well, I'm eighteen years old what I'm afraid of is that if I see him again, I'm afraid that I might fall in love with him all over again. No, I don't have a boyfriend, well I actaully I have never had a boyfriend. B/c my parents are so strict with me and my sister. They say that we should concentrate right now in school and then when we graduate from college we could think of whatever we want. But, I think that they pass the line, they don't even let me talk to a guy or they don't even let me have guys as friends. So, that is what I would like to ask you this other question, why is it that when I or a guy comes up to me and starts talking I go blank, I don't know what to say, I like get all nervous. Sometimes I think that its because I have been in an all girls high school for four years and my parents don't want me to communicate with guys. What do you think? And when I around guys and I don't to them my parents get mad because I don't know what to say, you see my parents want me to talk to guys that they only like. :(
The only guy that I actually felt comfortable with was this guy in mexico, he is like the first guy, which I actaully got surprised of myself. :eek: When we used to talk me and him I was usually with my boy cousins they would take care of me but they knew that he liked me, so they sometimes gave him a chance or two so he could talk to me, he would beg so he could talk to me. Some times when he used to tell me that I'm pretty and he never has met a girl like me and that I'm very different than other girls,and that I'm shy,that I seem so innocent because I don't know anything about love. I felt very shy around him, when he used to tell me that. Now when, well not any more but when I was trying to forget him I just started to cry because I believed everything he said to me. I sometimes remember those word that he said to me and laugh at myself , sometimes I think that he just said it because I was there and now that I'm not there he probably just forgot about me or he was just palying with my feelings. My parenta do know him and they say that he is a "well bahaved young man". My parents and his parents get along.
Thank you if you have more questions about me well about this write back soon thanku. :)

First, with woman, it's not always what a guy looks like, IT HOW HE MAKES YOU FEEL! Always. (Guys MUST learn this - something guys don't get - sure looks help, but not the end all for woman).

Sure you have some feelings for this guy. But, no, it's not love. It's lust, smitten, need, want - wanting more, maybe a relationship. But, don't confuse these with love.

You don't even know this guy. He could be a real creep. If this is the first guy you have some feelings for - take it slow.

He must have done something to get your feelings going? Does he make you laugh, tease you? That maybe why.

A lot of woman get confused with their feelings and guys take advantage of them - they get all caught up in lust and smitten and then get hurt by a jerk. Happens every minute of every day. Be careful as you don't have the exoerience to know what a jerk is.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fredg

Hi,
and boyfriends will come and go.

You are only 18yrs old and boyfriends will come and ago - I have had my fair share of heartaches, dismissals and not being able to be someone because they live too far away.

That does not mean you have to avoid him. There is no harm in seeing this guy again and who knows you may develop a friendship if nothing else and may want to exchange email addresses and perhaps stay in touch. I have done this with a couple of guys. I am still friends with one to this day years later and the other one I lost touch with. Either way I am still happy to have known that person and if anything I learned from it.

On the other hand if you really can't handle seeing him then no one is going to judge you. There are plenty of guys out there and you will have a journey to find the right one but the trick is to enjoy yourself and enjoy the time you spend with all of them. There is always hardships but that is all part of growing as a person and the older you get the wiser you get.

At 21yrs old I have become a lot wiser than I was at 18yrs; but looking back I have enjoyed the majority of my relationships and have remained friends with them. There is only one I have not been able to do so and that's because he is just a different species to the rest (not a very nice man to know).

Don't worry - you will do what you think is best - I say this an awful lot; but follow your instincts.

Quote:

The only guy that I actually felt comfortable with was this guy in mexico, he is like the first guy, which I actaully got surprised of myself. :eek: When we used to talk me and him I was usually with my boy cousins they would take care of me but they knew that he liked me, so they sometimes gave him a chance or two so he could talk to me, he would beg so he could talk to me. Some times when he used to tell me that I'm pretty and he never has met a girl like me and that I'm very different than other girls,and that I'm shy,that I seem so innocent because I don't know anything about love. I felt very shy around him, when he used to tell me that. Now when, well not any more but when I was trying to forget him I just started to cry because I believed everything he said to me. I sometimes remember those word that he said to me and laugh at myself , sometimes I think that he just said it because I was there and now that I'm not there he probably just forgot about me or he was just palying with my feelings. My parenta do know him and they say that he is a "well bahaved young man". My parents and his parents get along.
Thank you if you have more questions about me well about this write back soon thanku. :)

OK, this might sound strange, but at your age, and the inhibitions you have when talking to other boys, gives me an idea. You parents have been keeping you 'out of harm's way' and 'protecting' you, the way they were taught how to do this in the 'old' days. This did not help you much, and it probably did not work for your parents either, when they were young, but they feel the need to protect you. Since they and his parents get along and they sort of 'approve' of this guy, enjoy the time with him, let him continue to compliment you, and he will help you get over your shyness,but also be straight up with him and tell him you are not used to this and that he is not looking at a girl he can play with. If his feelings are serious, and his religious and ethnic beliefs are the same as those of your family, he will respect that and will continue to just enjoy your company until you are ready and/or willing to give more. Please don't feel scared of 'falling in love' because this happens many times in your life as it is part of life's experience and totally unavoidable. Let those feelings tickle your toes, within bounds for both of you, as again it's only natural and needs to be experienced by us all. If by any chance you break his heart or he your's, don't worry, this heals also and we all live through it. Do the things you enjoy doing, like laughing, swimming, talking, until it's time to leave, and think about the good time you had and deserved. Your parents are slowly letting you feel a little freedom, it depends on you how much of this you are willing to taste, so it's also a test in their trust. You'll do just fine - have a lot of fun, dear and go back home remembering a wonderful vacation. Keep us posted.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_6_205.gif Have fun, a normal flirt, and dream a little, it's all natural.