Ask Me Help Desk - Should I contact her?

Been broke up with the love of my life for 2 1/2 months now and I still want to be with her.
The last time I saw her was in person about 1 1/2 months ago. She said she didn't ever want to see me again. Before that, she asked me if I was seeing someone and I said yes. She said she was wating for someone at her work to break up with their person.
I have NOT contacted her since my last visit but I still love her and miss her a lot.
I have met new people and had new fun blah, blah.. .
IS IT SMARTER TO LEAVE HER ALONE OR TO CONTACT HER?
I don't have her phone number.
I think she might be still waiting on that person at work. This is our first major holiday apart.

Follow your heart. You do not know the results until you decide yourself what the best thing to do. Maybe she is just saying she is waiting for someone because you told her that you were seeing somebody else. Many people play games and It sounds that both you two are playing games with each other. Why did you break up and who did the breaking? There are many circumstances that need to be brought out in the open to help more. Stop lying and be truthful. If you want to contact her, contact her just let her know that how you feel. It depending on the result of that then it is probably safe to say eighter it is complelty over or there is still a chance. Whatever you decide to do, do it with class.

Joe

Sorry about your delema, however, depending on your age, you will probably go through this stage many more times in your life. Especially, during the holidays, we wish for things to be nice and comfortable (the way they were), but you kind of put a damper on this by seeing other people as well. I laud you for being truthful, and sometimes the truth hurts, but is best for all in the longrun. You did not mention how old you both were and if this was your fist real close relationship, and/or if you got into the feeling of permanancy, without continuing effort to keep the relationship exciting. When you are young, and things don't keep moving, they tend to stagnate and start going sour unless you do something about it. Some see the signals early, some have not the experience of insight yet, so I don't know in which category you are in. At any rate, with or without her, your life must go on, and you need as many friends and other things to do during this time to keep you from the normal seasonal depression. Please don't stay at home and feel sorry for yourself, as I said, it will probably happen more in the future, and the way you handle things now will influence you and make you rethink or stay in limbo. Go out there and check out what the rest of the world has to offer. Keep us posted. And good luck. We are here if you need us.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Follow your heart. You do not know the results until you decide yourself what the best thing to do. Maybe she is just saying she is waiting for someone because you told her that you were seeing somebody else. Many people play games and It sounds that both you two are playing games with each other. Why did you break up and who did the breaking? There are many circumstances that need to be brought out in the open to help more. Stop lying and be truthful. If you want to contact her, contact her just let her know that how you feel. It depending on the result of that then it is probably safe to say eighter it is complelty over or there is still a chance. Whatever you decide to do, do it with class.

Joe

Very well put, keeping your cool and maintaining 'class' is a good way of self-preservation and necessary in these times. Never fight or deny truth, just accept it and look ahead.

Hi,
You have already received some very, very good answers! Here are some thoughts:
Be honest with her, respectful, and yes, I would contact her. Talk with her if you can. If she in insterested in you, she will tell you. If not, she should tell you that also.
If you can't contact her, then I am sure she will get back with you, if she is serious about you.
Since you are meeting others, and talking with them, getting to know other girls, you are making the right steps.
It takes time to "get over" someone, and you will find others. You will probably never forget her, but just think of the good times, and move on.
She might be truthful about what she told you, might not be. Only time will reveal that answer.
I do wish you the best, and remember; Life is fun, depending on how you let it treat you.

I agree with Jesushelper76 - you can only follow your instincts. Not knowing where you stand with someone is the hard; but it's even harder to be truthful about your feelings when fear overwhelms you.

It could be that deep down you know it's over but you are not ready to accept that and let go.

Or

You may be hesitating because you are afraid of being hurt and losing her all over again.

Either way; only you yourself can decide whether to contact her and see if you still have a chance or whether you would rather leave it and let go.

Keep us posted and good luck with whatever decision you come to.

I'd leave her alone at this point. She doesn't sound very committed to you. Keep on meeting new people and having fun. If she wants to put her life on hold waiting for this person at work she can but I recommend that you get on with yours.

I wouldn't contact her. Lots of bad thing going on here that would never allow you to to be together again.

"She said she was wating for someone at her work to break up with their person." - what's up with that?? That's f-d up to begin with.

You'd did the right thing by not contacting her - the wrong thing in telling her you were seeing other people - you NEVER tell them that. Let thme find out for themselves - you come across way wrong in saying and that and PUSH them farther from you.