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-   -   Controlled Relationship, How do I get out? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=152304)

  • Nov 15, 2007, 04:26 AM
    joandbitty
    Controlled Relationship, How do I get out?
    I'm 27 and have a 7 year old son. I have been in a relationship with a guy for 7 years. He conpletely controls me. I know I have to get out but I don't know how to. I work for him in his business and he controls the money I get, I get pocket money like a child and there is no way I can accrue ny savings.

    Last year I had a break down and he gain residency of MY son because I was not able to cope, he forced me to sign the paperwork and now I can't get my son back as I don't know how to fight him with out the fear of death.

    I am not allowed to have any friends, and have nobody that I can talk to about it, not even my family as my mother and him are friends, and she always takes his side.

    Mentally I have pulled myself together now but just don't know how to get out.

    Any advice welcome.

    Please help.

    If anyone else been in a simpilar situation, advice welcome, I need some hope xxxxx
  • Nov 15, 2007, 05:20 AM
    tickle
    You pack your bags, take your son and go to a woman's shelter. While there you will learn the tools to release yourself from bondage to this man. You really must take control of your life from now on.

    I am surprised you are allowed to have a computer to join forums like ours.
  • Nov 15, 2007, 08:30 AM
    dataguneed
    Is he abusing you? Yea forget everyone don't let him control you if he hit you call the police or even fight him back and leave to a women shselter like tickle said
  • Nov 15, 2007, 08:36 AM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by dataguneed
    fight him back

    This is very dangerous advice coming from a 13 year old. Never ever fight an abuser back, that is just asking for more abuse.
  • Nov 15, 2007, 09:40 AM
    crushedovernover
    Did you ever stop to think the only reason he is controlling is that he thinks you will do something he doesn't want you to do.. This does not excuse his controlling behaviour but sit back and think about WHY he is beingthat way. I mean he probably thinks you don't have enough respect for him and your relationship so the first chance your going to boogy. But he should have enough respect for you to let you have your own life. Mabe talk with him but if nothing changes then do what the others have said and stay strong.
  • Nov 15, 2007, 09:54 AM
    madaman
    No offense to the above poster, but this situation seems a little worse than you are thinking. First of all no one has the right to control another person like that. Even if he is doing it to stop her from leaving, that is a horrible and manipulative thing to do. I don't think she has to sit back and think about anything other than getting out of this relationship.

    It probably feels like you are stuck in this situation, but I know there are groups out there that are around to help you.
  • Nov 15, 2007, 04:58 PM
    tickle
    Yes, of course there are groups, as I said, women's shelters in any major centre in the US and Canada.

    I think this lady is pretty well staid in her relationship and there are some that just go on complaining and do nothing and living with the abuse until something really horrendous happens.

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