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  • Nov 14, 2007, 03:00 PM
    sadblue
    Anger issues
    I found a job, was doing good in everything in school,grades,job except at home. My mom and my stepdad had kicked me out of the house because I was calling my mom names but what else could have I said I mean she was talking bad about me in front of my sisters. I have to admit something's hurt me because I had told her a few things so she could understand me but I guess she took it against me so yea I got kicked out. A friend of mine in school let me live with her and I have been living with her for about 2 months I still have my job because I need my clothes and materials for school. But the only trouble is my mom is bothering me bringing up the past and making me more violente with her every time I see her, I hate her even more, what do you think about what I am doing, do you think I'm doing the right thing help please?? I want to know
  • Nov 14, 2007, 03:15 PM
    J_9
    She is not making you more violent to her, YOU are being more violent to her. You need to control your urges, only YOU can do that.
  • Nov 14, 2007, 03:50 PM
    shygrneyzs
    Your Mom knows your trigger points and you are responding to them. Most people would react like you do. But you do have the responsibility to either accept or not accept what your Mom says and does to you. You are making choices on how to respond and so you can change your own attitude and your own responses. When your Mom starts in, leave. Walk away without saying anything. Or if you feel you have to say something, make it neutral and not offensive. No name calling, no swearing, no hateful words. You can simply say to her, "I am not discussing this with you until you can talk calmly" - or something like that.

    You need to understand that only you are responsible for what you say and do. To blame someone else just allows you to justify your anger. I can agree with you that your Mom sounds like an angry woman but I cannot agree that she is all at fault here. She may be the instigator but you are also the reciprocator and enhancer. That needs to stop. For your own health, you find out how to change. Talk to a school counselor, take an anger management class, whatever it takes to get you to the point where you can identify your anger triggers and how to defuse them. Does not mean you will never be angry again but it will help you in those situations where you need to remain calm.

    Find some information on "emotional victims." Read through the definitions and find yourself in there. Being an Emotional Victim

    I want to share the following with you. The first is a short video, just about reaffirming the good in you. The other ones are articles on anger management.

    :: www.InspiredLifeDesign.com ::
    Controlling Anger Before it Controls You
    Get Your ANGRIES Out
    Anger management: What are you so angry about? - MayoClinic.com

    I wish you the very best in all things.

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