Hey guys so my girlfriend she's the love of my life and I'm crazy about her, but since we been togather in these last two years she has left me 4 times and I have never left her I can never stay mad at her. The first 3 times she left and came back were understandable reasons I guess I forgave her and took her back, but this last January she left me again and came back in septemeber and we got back togather and evreything was fine till last week so broke up with me for no reason at all just ended it. She said she needed her space and stuff. And than she calls me a few days ago talking to me again and texting me saying she missed me but she don't want a relationship but she still wants to kiss me and do all the stuff we did, but realisticly how long can we both do that, so last night I talked to her and she was telling me she trying to make me more of an positive person and that I'm so negative and she wants me to see more to life than her and I'm so stressed out always been but this time is pushing it too much and all of my friends are her friends as well but a decent amount all agree with me and no one is favoring her evryone says I'm right and she's making a mistake. And every time she has left me people found out the situation and always took my side so this isn't a first. I love my friends as well and I don't want to get them in the middle but because of me being so stressed out and all they don't like seeing me the way I'm and there all getting real pissed at her and all of that. Now I am not perfect ill admit I did my share of arguing,yelling,getting mad all that but only because I loved her and she was messing up and still is. She used to tell me don't get mad jelous yell and all of that and I listened to her and I told her than stop doing the stuff that makes me mad or jelous, like even right now she works with all guys and goes out and eats with them and than she doesn't want to come see me or when she on the phone with me people text her non stop and she lways busy replying to them, and if not non of them she always talks about her self and her family I never even get a word in but I'm always there listening. I mean in these two years I did everything for this girl she wanted to marry me even till last week before she broke up with me, I mean I was there for here emtionally, physically, financially, she got watver she wanted, she was happy, I gave her real friends a new goal to set her self for, I gave her my life my soul whatver a guy can do for his wife basically I did for her so she would never be in pain, like even the smallest things that hurt her such as a paper cut hurt me that's how much she means to me, and I'm like ready to give my life right about know to prove to her how much I need her, she said she's doing this to teach me something and get me thinking more positive. And honeslty if any of you grateful people knew me I'm one of the nicest guys alive I can't say no to anyone I respect everyone and I don't hate anyone at all I'm friends with everyone and specially I devote my life to my family and my girlfriend. I know I scrwed up in school and all of that just to be with her and I do so much for her and sometimes she over looks it and doesn't know and she doent know ho wto handle a relationship sometimes, she tells my best firend all this weird stuff nad he says she has nothing good to say about me she makes me seem so bad in front of others not always but at times when there's something going on. She says that I only realize things and listen to her when I'm not with her. And the reasons I get mad is because she's messing up in life her family treats her like there absolutely inhuman I'm sorry to say and she made a lot of real friends through me and everything works out. But than she makes me mad on purpose she knows the things that tick me off and she knows ill go off on her but 20 min later il be sorry because I can't ever be mad at her or hurt her, but I mean going out with other guys after work, always talking about her self and family, and never talking to me on the phone always busy with something else when I wait every sec of my life just to get a text from her. At night she's always sleepy and never wants to talk to me for even 5 min during the day she's busy, and now like her famiyl treats her like and she's 19 she doesn't have her own life they control her and she can't go anywere so I get to see her barly once or twice a week for an hr or two and it don't matter to me because I do get to see her, but sometimes I need more time with her you know take her to movies,dinner, out to the city, amusemant parks, even take her to downtown chicago and just shop and have fun! She's not understanding even last night she keeps on saying that your supposd to stick to something you believe in even if you're the only one, and I don't know were she got that from but she's really wrong this time and no one favroing her and she thinks that all of us me and my friends are all wrong and she's the only one who's right she doesn't want to understand. And I mean if we had problems she never discusses anything with me like now she just broke up with me I mean if I don't understand her because she never keeps her side like her promises why should I and at least she could tell one of my friends and they can explain to me aand I'm very understanding, but most things about her I don't even know how to explain no one cares and loves her more than me and she knows that by now, and I'm so stressed out since last night and I just feel like giving away my life just to prove to her I am ready to do anything to make this work. She says that I'm to controlling and always try to stop her from doing something, well if she knew most things hurt me she wouldn't do them, and whatever she doesn't like or tells me not to do it I stop doing it I don't think twice she says something and its done. But when it comes to she never listens she says its her life and she wants to do whatver she wants if she's making a mistake shell learn from her mistake and I mean I don't evne know what to say to her most of the time. Last night my phone died when we were talkng and I called her this morning at least 3 times and textd her because it was rude of me that the phone died and I told her it was going to die but she was saying some nice sweet things and my phone died right than, and now she totally ignoring me like even before the phone died she was trying to be all sweet and stuff and I just don't know I can't go to work or school or do anything its just stressing me out and I really do not know what to do and there is so much other stuff about her but I dotn want to mention it because I mean I think that this is the main point what I have said so far, and I love her to death and she's a real sweetheart when we are in person and really having fun but she just changes when were not togather in person I mean she always so busy watching TV or doing something that she just doesn't want to talk to me on the phone she's so into it and than she texts me at the same time talking about something relating to her, in person were so happy togather and when were not I don't know what happens, and right now I just want to get back with her and I'm willing g to do whatver it takes even put my life on the line to get her to understand because I can't loose her we had so many plans for the future and I just done know what to do and since my friends are trying to help but really can't because they are stumped as well why she just left for no reason and why she's doing this and I don't know at all I need some advice like even right now I'm just waiting for her to call me or text me she always does in the morning and I don't know what to do anymore, but I'm sorry to waste your ppls valuable time but if anyone has advice I really would appreciate it

Please look at my survival guide below to start.

You need this first.

"i mean i was ther for here emtionally, physically, financially, she got watver she wanted, she was happy...."

No, she was not happy.

Don't give a woman EVERYTHING they want...

that's like feeding the fish in your tank every time they swim to the surface. Eventually - they'll DIE.


You can't buy her or make her do anything.

Relax. Work on the equality. I can see this from afar.. but up close it feels like there is no hope. She is just giving herself some air... both of you can benefit.

Sarz88
You are letting this girl run all over the top of you. Don't EVER let someone else be more important then YOU. She is playing you big time because she knows you will always be there for her. To be honest with you she doesn't sound like a very nice person to me the way she is treating you , you can't see that because you are blinded by your emotions. Believe me it's so much easier to see these things from the outside , I mean even your friends say so.

I suggest distance yourself from her and see if that makes a difference , if she really wants to be with you she will come back running if you PULL away , at the moment you are pushing her and she is the one pulling away. Don't answer her calls and don't answer her texts , this will confuse her and she might start to think "hey I don't have full control like I think I do"

Then if she really does love you and wants to be with you you will see a big difference in her attitude. If she doesn't then so be it and it wasn't meant to be. Easier said than done I know but that's life I'm afraid. Break ups are never easy , but you have to learn to live life and ride with the challenges it brings you. This won't be the last , you are still very young and have your whole life in front of you. Don't let someone who can't or won't give you 100% control how you feel.