Okay, how do I handle this one. I accidentally found out that my best friends husband was listing and replying to personal ads online. How do I know... the idot replied to me. He did not know it was me... so I played the part for a day to get him to send me a pic to make sure it was him... now I have the pic and I am just sick over it. Just a quick ruin down of their life right now... their 6 year old has stage 4 cancer... and is going through chemo & radiation... they have a 2 year old that is just floating between their friends while one is at the hospital or while he is suppose to be working... now I find this out. What do I do... do I approach him first... or tell her... or just keep it a secret... I know if the tables were turned she would tell me. Please help.. the sickness in the family is making my decision so hard. :mad:

If it were me, then I would be confronting him and telling him what I know. It may be enough to make him stop doing it. I would hate to see the family going through any other hardship more than what they are now.

Is he replying in a deceitful way? Meaning is he saying he is not married or has no kids, and is he seeking romantic type involvement?

I'm just curious because with everything going on in their lives right now maybe he just needs a pen-pal type "friend" to bounce some of his thoughts off of- to let out steam- or to just get some attention... maybe he doesn't want to add any additional stress to his wife or maybe she is just stretched as far as she can right now and there's zero time for him... I don't know.

I know this may sound funny but I guess I am hoping against hope that its NOT for romance, as his wife's life is already shattering and this may just push her over the edge. I guess you could say I feel sorry for her and wonder if she is strong enough to handle another life altering event. Only you know the answer to this. I can't even imagine being the one to have to tell her something like this.

The other odd thing is that so many studies show how families, even strong families, seem to break apart at the death of one of their children. Even though you'd think it may draw them closer, it tends to do the exact opposite.
Good luck in whatever way you decide to handle the info. And let us know how it turns out.

I had friends NOT tell me about a cheating girlfriend.I found out later.


They are no longer friends.

Ken

This IS a hard one! I agree with all the answers. You will have to tell us more for the final decision... more about the response, more about the stability of the wife, please.

I personally think it's none of your business and you shouldn't ruin their life. His wife will find out or may already know, but it's really not your call to make.

If you want, you could tell the husband, but I wouldn't tell the wife and ruin their marriage.