Starting a new relationship after a break-up
Hi there,
I've posted a few times on this site in the past few months but will give a bit of background before talking about my new topic/issue. Myself and my ex broke up just over four months ago, it wasn't very clean, though it probably could have been. We had been together about a year and a half and a culmination of a series of incidents and a perception of a lack of commitment on my part led to her to break up with me. I had hoped that some time and distance would lead to reconsider but when we spoke about two months later she had clearly blocked me out and had decided not to relate to me on anything but the most superficial level. So about three weeks ago I left the town had moved to to be with her and returned to my university town (I'm a grad student so am quite flexible) and its here that I take p the story...
In the four months since I broke up with my ex I've seen a few girls and had a few flings (actually my leaving town was kind of precipated by my ex coming into a club about 5 weeks ago where I was with someone else and I realised that I couldn't be around her anymore.). They have not been anything serious but about three weeks ago I met a great new woman, we hit it off really well, are in a similar line of work, got similar interests, have great sex... the problem is the spectre of my ex which hangs over me, at every turn this girl is not my ex, obviously, but I find myself thinking about my ex when I'm with her... which I actually find quite disturbing.
I have found separation from my ex really hard. I still dream about her EVERY night... and she's still the first thought in my head when I wake up... I just don't know what to do with this new girl, my ex and I are over forever. Period. Of that there is no doubt so what is the point of me just sitting pining for her when I could start something new with somebody I am attracted to. I guess the question I have is how to proceed in this new relationship given my state. The new girl lives in another town (which is good I think, as it stops us spending too much time together too quickly which I think would kill anything), we have spent the last three weekends together and got on really well... what I want is to get past the thoughts of my ex, or at least manage them better, and also to try and figure out if I'm in total rebound territory... any suggestions/advice would be great!
Thanks,
s.