There is this girl who I am good friends with. She was going out with one of my best friends for about 10 months. He was a real ahole to her. They broke up about 2 months ago and were still hanging out and he has a new girlfriend. I remained good friends with her. Ive allways cared a lot about her as a good friend. Now Im in love with her. I told her how I felt and she said she felt the same way. With my friends permission we went out. 2 days later we decided to go back to being friends because she was not over her ex. They were still hanging out. When they were hanging out, most of the time I was with them. I could tell she still loved him and I would have been fine with that as long as she was happy, he is one of my best friends, but he was still being a real ahole to her. There was not a single day they spent togeather when she didn't end up in tears. Her and her mom decided it would be best if they stayed away from each other from now on, he agreed. Then after it was all done and decided she regretted it because she is still not over him. I can't understand how after everything he has done to her she still loves him. My question is will she ever be over her ex? And do you think I will ever have a chance with the girl I love and care about deeply in the future?

To say the least you have quite a pickle, but I have seen this all the time in highschools. First, you said your best friend keeps being an ahole to her, TELL HIM TO STOP, not only as a friend to her but just respect between human beings tell him to show a little compassion, if it is this hard for her. Also, she needs her grieving time, 10 months is a long time to go out, and even longer the younger you are, so she is going to be distrought. The best thing you could do not only as her want to be boyfriend but friend is try to help her see through this rough patch in her life. She will get over it, however it will take time. Remember don't rush it, this is something for her to work on herself, you can help ease the pain but she needs to confront it. You can't date someone seriously with that kind of baggage. And sadly many girls get a huge crush on somebody and are treated like crap shortly after, you need to explain to her that he was mean and cruel to her. Also, it might not be a bad idea to have your friend and her talk the break up over, maybe it was a bad break up and he didn't explan his leaving, maybe this time he can give her the closure she needs, so not only she can move on, but move on to a future with you. And yes you will have a chance just remember that she needs healing time, it took 10 months to make it might take 10 months to bring down, and if she said she does like you that way, then once she is done grieving you and her can go out and I trust that you will take care of her, because it seems that you have a deep connection with her.

Hi,
Both answers are "yes".
She will get over him, in time. And, you do have a chance with her.
Give her some time to get over him, might take 3 or 4 months, who knows for sure.
Meantime, keep being her friend, show her you really care for her, be respectful, and treat her nice. Listen when she talks with you, and show her you really do care for her.
Sometimes, a friend can turn into someone you really love, other times not. Many yrs. Ago, I loved a girl, high school sweetheart. We both went to separate colleges when I was 18. About a year later, got a letter from her that she found someone else. My world had ended, or so I thought.
Took me some time to get over it, but still remember her, 45 yrs later!
Be with her when she needs you, and let her talk about him, and listen. Eventually, she will get over him, and hopefully, will want you as her boyfriend. I do wish you the best of luck.

Ok to make a very, very long story short - I know where you're coming from . I went through the same thing . I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and if its meant to be then it will happen. :) - But from a girls point of view let me say this about that- If she is still crying over this guy that is after all your buddy then that does put you in a rough spot , but there is an upside ( there is ALWAYS un upside ) . Girls love love love it when a man- even more so a close friend- is there for them to let them lean on or rant and rave about what a jerk someone is being. So if you can handle her crying over something that really isn't worth the tears then it will pay off . Try the classic movie like move - and trust me this works- If she is sad and upset that this jerk isn't treating her like he should then gently brush her hair away from her face and look her in the eyes and say something like - " if only you could see what I see then you wouldnt believe or listen to anything he say's or does "
If that doesn't get her than I don't know what to tell you!! :rolleyes:
Keep us all posted on what happens and good luck
Rembemer the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return

When I was a teen I was really into this guy called Craig. We had been been going outfora while and he trreated me awfully but I stuck with him because I loved him to bits. He evetually left me forsomeone else and a guy caled Mike who I was friends with made it known that he wanted more. I told him I would have to get over craig frist but months later he and I ended up together and were very happy.

In those months Mike was a great support. Listened to me pouring my heart out; comforted me - gave great advice and was just there for me when I needed him. Our relationship developed from there and we were great together.

Unfortunately I was diagnosed with depression at 17yrs and our relationship broke down (because it was such a strain) Which is a real shame because if things had been different we might still be together today (who knows) - but he continued to support me as a friend and we are still very close friends today.

If you are there for this girl as a friend now and you help her to get over your friend then things will develop naturally and when the time is right. The key is to be patient; but when a girl or a guy is worth it then the wait is worth it.

Yes, she will get over him but she will have a soft spot for him.. I know it happened to me and this time I'm going out with one of his friends and he's moved and it really bugs me but I just can't let anyone take the place of him and the thing is that it's been over a year since I started loving him or liking him a lot and I still can't like or love a person like him at all.. But, we were like competors more than lovers or friends because of us fighting physically and emotionally but you will have your chance but she won't forget him trust me he'll always be somewhere in her heart but she will get over him but it takes time I know I've been in HER position and I'm still there and its been over a yr.
Yes, you will have your chance with her... but it just takes patience and time... Good luck...

Love,
Beenkie

Um, Yea.. well I am in this situation right now. It sucks and I know EXACTLY how you feel. The girl I am actually what I THINK MIGHT BE "IN LOVE" with, still talks, thinks, and cries about her dumb ex. He used to her money for drugs (weed and coke), he used her for rides, they fought all the time I guess, and I don't get it. Finally, we met at work at a Ruby Tuesday and I instantly had an attraction to her. She broke up with her man and then about a month later when I moved we started talking. We dated.. for about a week, then she said she was going to give him another chance. That HURT BAD.. but we weren't together long I just saw a future with her. So then things didn't work out for them and let me remind you, her relationship was a 2 year relationship. So I understood and wanted her to learn for herself. So anyway, we got BACK together, I took her to her favorite concert, I did and DO many things for this girl not to try and win her or anything, just because I want to and it feels right. We got back together and we broke up AGAIN. ROUND 2.. she said it was because she might move to FLA (from NY) and I was thinking if you Don't KNOW why break up now? Well on my spring break she told me she was going to give him yet another try. It didn't work out again. I was mad and sad but we are now "just friends". I told her how I felt and she understands but doesn't want to tie down again. I don't understand this kid and how she can hold on but it just hurts BADLY. So we are now 5 months into our relationship and we are still "just friends" and we kiss and are ALWAYS together whenever we can be, she just doesn't want to tie down. I hope I get the chance with her in the future like I hope you do too and like everyone else has said because she really is a great person and I really can't see myself with anyone else right now. It sucks man and I know what your going through, just hold on because you never know... ya just never know I guess :(

First it really isn't a good idea to start a relationship with someone who were once good friends with. If the girl is not over her ex and he treats her bad than maybe that's what she wants. If she didn't want to deal with the verble abuse then she would let go and realize how good of a person you are. I once learned that somebody will only allow someone to do something hurtful to them if they allow them. So obviously she wants someone like her ex boyfriend and she will have to find out on her own what she really wants. But all you can do is be there by her side and if you can't handle her feelungs for her ex then you have to let her go until she wants to be with you.