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-   -   What if I don't know my role in the break up? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=151538)

  • Nov 13, 2007, 06:20 AM
    mafiaangel180
    What if I don't know my role in the break up?
    Ok so I read that I have to find out the role I played in my break up. I have to determine what I did wrong. This way I do not make the mistake again. What if I can't think of anything?

    In past relationships, I was rather b*tchy and stood for nothing. I learned from the past... and this time around I wanted to be nice and patient. Which I was. I was this guy's biggest fan and cheering section. I encouraged him to better himself. I told him not to neglect family and friends. I gave him space. I even came up with many fun things for us to do. I can only think of a few times when I let him down. But it was superficial such as when I didn't get on a rollercoaster with him. Maybe a reason could be that we worked at the same place, but that isn't a fault. It's just a fact.

    Well he said he broke up with me because, though he does love me and wants to spend time with me, he can't spend time with me because he feels like he's neglected himself. His fault, not mine. I've encouraged him to better himself. Though in actuality, I believe he broke up with me due to his own fears and insecurities. At any rate, I was nothing but good to him, and I really can't determine what I did wrong. Am I destined to go through this again? I really want to gain something from this... but I really am afraid I won't.
  • Nov 13, 2007, 09:17 AM
    jolienoire
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by mafiaangel180
    Ok so I read that I have to find out the role I played in my break up. I have to determine what I did wrong. This way I do not make the mistake again. What if I can't think of anything?

    In past relationships, I was rather b*tchy and stood for nothing. I learned from the past...and this time around I wanted to be nice and patient. Which I was. I was this guy's biggest fan and cheering section. I encouraged him to better himself. I told him not to neglect family and friends. I gave him space. I even came up with many fun things for us to do. I can only think of a few times when I let him down. But it was superficial such as when I didn't get on a rollercoaster with him. Maybe a reason could be that we worked at the same place, but that isn't a fault. It's just a fact.

    Well he said he broke up with me because, though he does love me and wants to spend time with me, he can't spend time with me because he feels like he's neglected himself. His fault, not mine. I've encouraged him to better himself. Though in actuality, I believe he broke up with me due to his own fears and insecurities. At any rate, I was nothing but good to him, and I really can't determine what I did wrong. Am I destined to go through this again?! I really want to gain something from this....but I really am afraid I won't.


    Hey sweetie, You did nothing wrong.. You were the Best woman you can BE, You just gave more than he was willing to give, That is not a flaw or a fault.. As long as you were honest and true then don't go faulting yourself.. How can he see the good in you When he haven't been THE bEST HIM he can be.. I hope that makes sense.. lol.. continue to be the best person YOU can be.. You will find someone who can appreciate YOU..
  • Nov 13, 2007, 10:06 AM
    mafiaangel180
    Thank you so much!

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