I work in a post office part-time (basically just for something to do), but I consider myself a full-time house wife because I spend more time at home taking care of things more than working. I am 20 years old, and I have a very traditional marriage, were my husband works to support us, and I stay home (other than the few shifts at the post office) and take the traditional roles of a wife. We met in Air Cadets when we were young, and he went on to the Air Force after Cadets, and I was going to also but then decided to get married instead. I don't plan on pursuing a career, instead I plan on raising a family, because I believe that is what I should do as a wife. I believe that marriage is the backbone of society.
Today I was working and a friend of mine was expaining to me how her and her husband go half and half on all of the bills, and I told her that me and my husband do things opposite where he pays the bills and doesn't expect me to contribute. I got quite a few looks like I was crazy, oh well, I don't even care. Basically I just want to know your opinions on this topic, I know it can be a pretty debatable.

More power to you. Many people are just following the norm of the way things are done today and if you are different people think it is odd. What is wrong with tradition? N0T a thing!

I have been hearing of more and more couples realizing that by the time they buy two cars, pay a babysitter and other expenses just so they can both go to work they often realize the one job basically pays for them to both be able to go to work.

I really commend any body that gets out of the keeping up with the Joneses rat race and get back to basics and tradition. If people think you are odd at least you have a life rather than a slave making a boss or business rich.

Wow... I wasn't expecting to get an answer like that. I was actually expecting to get bashed for many things like not being a feminist (in general) and not having a "career." Good answer! :)

We married after I graduated from college, and I worked for 3-4 years as a teacher and a few other jobs until I got pregnant. Then I stayed home for 12 years raising two kids and of course doing all the housework, yardwork, grocery shopping, clothes buying, and whatever else fell my way. During that time I volunteered at a neighborhood school where my kids ended up going. I also was in a bowling league and volunteered to help at my church's various activities. Finally, when my two sons were in school all day, I returned to the workworld as a part-time teacher and part-time library employee.

If you don't want to work, I strongly suggest you volunteer somewhere--at a cat shelter, a nursing home, a hospital, a school. Even though I was out and about all day before I started to work again, I volunteered because I still wanted and needed adult companionship. I went back to work simply because it was nice to have my own money for at least Hallmark cards and that pretty sweater I wouldn't have bought otherwise.

Yes, marriage is the backbone of society, and if your family can make it these days on one salary with the high energy costs, more power to you for not working. We haven't ever taken nifty vacations out of the country or bought a big house or had lots of clothes, but with two incomes, we were able to send our younger son to the private college that he had chosen and be able to afford two cars.

It's not really "debatable" whether a couple lives on only one income so much as being able (or not) to afford replacement windows, a new roof, a furnace repair, and new tires for the car.

It is all about how you manage your money, Everybody thinks they HAVE to have new.
The way I looked at it is you pay 600. For a sofa and get it home, not even a year later it is no longer new anyway and only worth $50.00 resale price. I buy a sofa from the Pennysaver for $50.00 and a year later my sofa is in as good as shape as your $600. Dollar sofa. Everybody has to run to Wal Mart and K Mart and buy what everybody else is buying cause they are all buying the bulk stuff that the store sells. I go to Thrift stores, flea markets, yard sales and have my own eclectic style at one tenth of the cost.
My sister and her husband have both worked two jobs and make $60,+ thousand dollars a year. They raised three kids. She always complained about how "they couldn't manage". I raised my four kids on less than $12,000. A year and managed about as good.

Actually, if your level of income is comfortable for both of you, great. If it is a struggle, or becomes a struggle, then your husband may need you to contribute. Being home with children is the best, I managed to be when they were small, but not everyone can make that stretch. I admire you, Nohelp, You have given your children a gift, that of seeing a strong, capable woman succeed. Success is not measured in money after all.

If your marriage works for you, that's all that matters. I look at friends and family members who are married or in long-term relationships and think, "Wow! No WAY could I survive in a relationship like that!" but they are totally happy. My neighbors (who have adult children) never combined their finances - they each paid individual bills (him the electric, her the water, for example) and that worked for them. My husband and I share our accounts, it's "our" money, not "his" or "mine". That works for us.

If you don't want to work and you and your husband can afford to allow you to have a life like that, then that's great. But you must remember there are many women out there who do not want to be a "housewife" because that's not what they want out of life, and if they question your decision, it's probably because they can't understand why someone wouldn't want to pursue a career. I'm sure people are also curious how, at your young age you can afford to only work part time, when many people work two and three jobs to make ends meet.

So to me, if your marriage works and makes you happy - go for it! :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jillianleab

If your marriage works for you, that's all that matters. I look at friends and family members who are married or in long-term relationships and think, "Wow! No WAY could I survive in a relationship like that!" but they are totally happy. My neighbors (who have adult children) never combined their finances - they each paid individual bills (him the electric, her the water, for example) and that worked for them. My husband and I share our accounts, it's "our" money, not "his" or "mine". That works for us.

If you don't want to work and you and your husband can afford to allow you to have a life like that, then that's great. But you must remember there are many women out there who do not want to be a "housewife" because that's not what they want out of life, and if they question your decision, it's probably because they can't understand why someone wouldn't want to pursue a career. I'm sure people are also curious how, at your young age you can afford to only work part time, when many people work two and three jobs to make ends meet.

So to me, if your marriage works and makes you happy - go for it! :)

---

Like I said, my husband is in the Air Force... he doesn't exactly get paid minnimum wage at his job. That his how we afford for me to only work part time. I talked to the wives of the people he workes with, and most of them don't work either.

My wife and I both work. We split bills down the middle. We have two great kids. It's all good if you are both on the same page.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by cerisa

Actually, if your level of income is comfortable for both of you, great. If it is a struggle, or becomes a struggle, then your husband may need you to contribute. Being home with children is the best, I managed to be when they were small, but not everyone can make that stretch. I admire you, Nohelp, You have given your children a gift, that of seeing a strong, capable woman succeed. success is not measured in money after all.

---

Actually we don't have any kids yet, but planning on soon.

I like the advise from all of the above posts.It works in different situations differently.

I used to work,but during the first trimester of my pregnancy I was having morning sickness and I could not go to work.I quit as it wasn't fair for my employer to be paying me to stay at home and husband agreed with me.

I haven't gone to work in an office since then.
I am trying out working from home,still testing out ideas.

I do like the traditional idea of marriage if at all possible,but then possibilities are limited especially when we have to consider that the necessities in life are not free, we have to pay for them.My husband would rather that I spent time with helping our child(children) grow up well under my guidance,but then he wouldn't mind if I did go to work.
I rather like the idea of being able to have the option of a part time job or work from home whichever is easier.

I admire those who work and keep a good home, my parents were that way.Both worked very hard,but I do not remember them missing any of the important things in our lives.They were there and we never thought "if only they had been at the school play" etc.

MJL,

My wife and I married at 18. That was 42 years ago. Intermittently my lady worked and then she would stay at home.

Since the day I married, I have not paid a bill. My lady gets the money in, pays the bills and let's me know if I can go to the electronics store for some absolutely useless toy.

I used to her my check and she would toddle off and do what ever she needed to do. When IBM started mailing the check home Bon would sign it and pay the bills.

I speak, read and write binary, hexadecimal, octal and base 64. I no longer can do simple decimal because I never use it.

At no time during our marriage has there been a "Her money and my money"." It has always been our money or bills and I truly hope it stays that way.