So I am going to try and make a really long story short, me and my girlfriend went on a break over a month ago, then were together for about a week, on Halloween she wanted another break so it been almost 2 weeks since then and I am having no luck. I have read a lot of post on this web site and decided I need to stop calling her and talking so much, today I flat out told her we should not talk all the time if we are broken up. Then I made the mistake of calling her crying, geesh I'm dumb. A big problem being that I am racing this weekend and I know she wants to go with me really bad, this is my first race back in 6 months am hoping that she will have a fun time like in the past and want to be my girlfriend again. Should I let her come and hope for the best or should I give her the no contact and not let her go?

Wait and see if she contacts you about going. If she doesn't let it go. If she does go try and work things out. If she doesn't want to work things out then let her go and don't contact her.
If she misses you enough she will eventually come around. She can't come to a point of realizing if she misses you if you keep calling her. If you keep calling her she might decide you are a nuisance and N0T want anything to do with you.

Sounds to me this girl doesn't know what she wants, this on and off again thing is not going to keep happening you can't allow it to unless you won't be happy. Stand firm with your decision make it clear that you're not always going to take her back. It is not fair to you that she is playing with your emotions. If you are racing you need to have a clear focus mind, will she be a distraction at this event, what if she doesn't want to get back with you will this effect you at your race? What is the point for this undecisiveness.. This is up to you but I would be careful with this one.. she doesn't know what she wants, and you may get hurt again.. It may hurt but do you really want to be with someone who is not sure what they want? It's okay to take one break but all these break in between's doesn't make any sense.

Thanks guys I guess ill just let her go I'm sure she will contact me about going until then I'm going to have to try and not call her at all,its hard but I should beable to do it. Thanks again this site has lifted my chin up

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Originally Posted by theracer

thanks guys i guess ill just let her go im sure she will contact me about going untill then im going to have to try and not call her at all,its hard but i should beable to do it. thanks again this site has lifted my chin up

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You can simply say you are racing and you need to be focused.. SHe is a distraction with her undecisiveness.. You can love someone and not be with them. Love is not a guarantee only a privilege for those who deserve it.

I have never had any problem focusing while racing and I've been racing for 11 years now so I don't think that will be an issue? I think the whole reason she whated a break was because she was bord. We used to be so busy all the time and it was fun, in the last 6 months we haven't been able to have much fun. I'm really hopeing this will bring her around... does that make sense to you guys?:confused:

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Originally Posted by theracer

i have never had any problem focusing while racing and iv been racing for 11 years now so i dont think that will be an issue? i think the whole reason she whated a break was because she was bord. we used to be so busy all the time and it was fun, in the last 6 months we havnt been able to have much fun. im really hopeing this will bring her around...does that make sense to you guys?:confused:

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Bored?? So what you break up with someone?? If someone wants to be with you nothing can keep them away... Don't make excuses for her, I know it sounds harsh but the reality is when things go wrong communication should be implied to try to repair the relationship.. Instead of reacting on impulses because you are bored... Things don't always go right but that doesn't mean you give up when they are not right. If you really love her go with your heart but be careful.. I am speaking through experience as I know every situation is different.. and I know she may do things to show that she still loves you! But it's one thing to love and one thing to be IN LOVE, there is a difference and Love don't warrant any guarantee..,. So just because people often say they love us that doesn't imply I want to be with you make sure you separate the two... and figure out what you want and what she want.. Make sure you are balanced because a relationship can't work if one partner is making more effort than the other..

GOod luck be careful be honest with her tell her how you feel if your relationship suffered because of boredom, try to do something different. Often times when we are in relationships we get comfortable without realizing it. If you want CPR this relationship I suggest you can do spontaneous things... Take her to different places, give her massages pamper her, and make sure she is trying too, she can't expect you to do everything give a little to get a little...

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Originally Posted by jolienoire

Bored??? So what you break up with someone ??? If somone wants to be with you nothing can keep them away... Don't make excuses for her, I know it sounds harsh but the reality is when things go wrong communication should be implied to try to repair the relationship.. Instead of reacting on impulses because you are bored... Things don't always go right but that doesn't mean you give up when they are not right. If you really love her go with your heart but be careful.. I am speaking through experience as I know every situation is different.. and I know she may do things to show that she still loves you! But it's one thing to love and one thing to be IN LOVE, there is a difference and Love don't warrant any gurantee.,.. So just because ppl often say they love us that doesn't imply I want to be with you make sure you seperate the two... and figure out what you want and what she want.. Make sure you are balanced because a relationship can't work if one partner is making more effort than the other..

GOod luck be careful be honest with her tell her how you feel if your relationship suffered because of boredom, try to do something different. often times when we are in relationships we get comfortable without realizing it. If you want CPR this relationship I suggest you can do spontaneous things... Take her to different places, give her massages pamper her, and make sure she is trying too, she can't expect you to do everything give alittle to get a little...

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You are so damn right, you hit that nail right on the head. That's just the thing that I needed to hear. Thanks!

What kind of racing? Sounds to me like you are in love because I don't see any jealousy or controlling issues with you which awesome. She seems to be coming back to you for more reasons than its hard to break up with and she needs to do it slow. Seems there is something she digs about you too. Both are young. Just be there when she calls and instead of pursuing the issue of getting back together as long as she doesn't start being with other guys ask her how her day was her week etc... think about her talk about her pamper her not you! Put her first but don't neglect your responsibilities. If you start losing sense of self or self energy you have to bail immedietly. She will get over it and so will you. That way you will have all yourself energy for your next girl. There will always be another around the corner.

Well the latest is I think she is dating another guy and she is going out partying I am shaking uncontrollably this is horrible I'm going to confront her with it see what she says

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Originally Posted by jasondbel

What kind of racing? Sounds to me like you are in love because i dont see any jealousy or controlling issues with you which awesome. She seems to be coming back to you for more reasons than its hard to break up with and she needs to do it slow. Seems there is something she digs about you too. Both are young. Just be there when she calls and instead of pursuing the issue of getting back together as long as she doesnt start being with other guys ask her how her day was her week etc... think about her talk about her pamper her not you! Put her first but dont neglect your responsibilities. If you start losing sense of self or self energy you have to bail immedietly. She will get over it and so will you. That way you will have all your self energy for your next girl. There will always be another around the corner.

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This weekend I'm racing motocross usaly I race sprint cars but haven't sense I think April. I have always put her first I love her she most important to me I've have always known that

No one deserves to be treated like that! May I ask for what good reason she wants a break? Absence makes the heart grow fonder obviously not in her case for her to ask for another break. She obviously does not miss you as much as you miss her. Its really hard to come to terms and read between the lines that she is looking for a way out. Don't be fooled and let her hurt you. Move on I know it hard but rather know than later.

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Originally Posted by theracer

well the latest is i think she is dating another guy and she is going out partying i am shaking uncontrollably this is horrible im going to confront her with it see what she says

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It is normal to feel this way because you are hurting, but the reality is your waiting because you have RESPECT for the relationship, she can't WAIT because her respect for you is no longer there... It has not been that long, And you can't blame her for you waiting around.. You are too available for her, and as long as you keep the window open she will climb in whenever she feels like it. And you will let her in because you LOVE her.. She knows whatever she does right now, if that doesn't work out she can say" well I always have "the Racer".. You need to stand up to her and let her know you will not take this behavior and just cut off CONTACT... NO CONTACT... If you confront her she will probably use that as an excuse of why she doesn't want to be with you... And then make herself out to be the victim... Just Don't contact her and focus on your career.. There is probably someone right now admiring you... And who would treat you like the person You deserve to be treated as...

“We must be our own before we can be another's.
Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.”” Ralph Waldo Emerson...

I agree. Let her go bro. If a girl makes you shake uncontrollably that is not love. She doesn't want you. She's playing the field.

Well this morning I left at 6 and went and crawled in bed with her. When she woke up I went to the pancake house and got her banana pancakes to go and brought them back to her house for her. Then to make a long story short she said she wanted to get back together in a few months, then said she wants to date other guys (until then) and she still loves me blah blah blah. After more conversation of me trying to tell her she's making a stupid mistake I finally lost my cool and said "fine go f*$k other guys, i hope you get a disease and die. i hate you" damn I'm mean but you no what I really think that she deserves it maybe it will open her eyes, probably not but what ever. She tried calling be but I ignored her phone call I suppose this would be a good time to go into nc for real and wait it out?:eek:

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Originally Posted by theracer

well this morning i left at 6 and went and crawled in bed with her. when she woke up i went to the pancake house and got her banana pancakes to go and brought them back to her house for her. then to make a long story short she said she wanted to get back together in a few months, then said she wants to date other guys (until then) and she still loves me blah blah blah. after more convo of me trying to tell her shes making a stupid mistake i finally lost my cool and said "fine go f*$k other guys, i hope you get a disease and die. i hate you" damn im mean but you no what i really think that she deserves it maybe it will open her eyes, probably not but what ever. she tried calling be but i ignored her phone call i suppose this would be a good time to go into nc for real and wait it out?:eek:

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WOW I can't believe you said that! But you did and you can't take it back, that was not nice at all, but I know it's reaction because you love, her.. Honey in a couple of mnths you are not going to want her back.. Think about it if you found out that she slept with other men it wouldn't be the same.. as I said before you have already mastered this relationship time to grow now..

Btw, that was very sweet what you did this morning (things like that makes me miss a relationship) the little things... If I only I had someone like you I am the one usually cooking the breakfast.. but anyway You will find you a wonderful woman... and in the meantime NC for a long time with this one..

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Originally Posted by jolienoire

WOW I can't believe you said that! But you did and you can't take it back, that was not nice at all, but I know it's reaction because you love, her.. Honey in a couple of mnths you are not going to want her back.. Think about it if you found out that she slept with other men it wouldnt be the same.. as I said before you have already mastered this relationship time to grow now..

Btw, that was very sweet what you did this morning (things like that makes me miss a relationship) the little things... If I only I had someone like you I am the one usually cooking the breakfast.. but anyway You will find you a wonderful woman... and in the meantime NC for a long time with this one..

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Yes I agree but when I said wait it out I meant a week or two at the most and if within that time she came crawling back then it would work out/ I told her that if she were to go date other guys our relationship would be ruined. As far as doing little things for her that was normal I have always done all I could to make her happy and should would do the same, unfortunantly times have change thanks so much for your help

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Originally Posted by theracer

yes i agree but when i said wait it out i ment a week or two at the most and if withing that time she came crawling back then it would work out/ i told her that if she were to go date other guys our relationship would be ruined. as far as doing little things for her that was normal i have always done all i could to make her happy and should would do the same, unfortunantly times have change thanks so much for your help

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No problem... I hope I helped.. because I hate to see such nice Guys be ruined... I am telling you the ONE is waiting.. and you know what she will give back to you what you give to her.. she will never leave your side, never hurt you, always be there for you, communicate with you, spoil you with love... Tell you how much she love's you.. Think about you all the time, every waking moment she wants to be with you.. there are women out there who are like that and they are waiting for a guy like you to share Love's journey with..

Leave the past behind and move Forward..