Well, this is actually a follow up question to a question I asked a few months ago. I'm a 29 yr. old male by the way. I asked if it was normal to have fantasies of rape. I said that I personally have never and would never force myself on any female! I've always been very caring and gentle with all of my girlfriends. However when I'm alone and fantasizing, I often have fantasies of rape, but it's not me raping anyone in these fantasies. I always fantasize about being someone else. Now I don't know if I do this to deflect the guilt I feel about these fantasies to an imaginary person or what. I just get really aroused about doing whatever I want whenever I want to the woman of my choice. Now as I've stated, I don't fantasize about me doing this. Let me give you an example: I'll fantasize about being a school janitor for example and a teacher will stay after school and I'll go into her room and force myself on her. Basically fullfilling all of my sexual fantasies with her. That is just one example of what I might fantasize about. When I posed this question before most of the responses said this is a normal thing and as long as I don't get these fantasies mixed up with reality and make them come to life, that they are OK and I shouldn't necessarily feel ashamed. However I've been feeling ashamed lately, I just feel like it is so wrong to fantasize about rape, even though I know I would never act this out! I tried to fantasize about consentual sex and it has worked. However I still get these powerful fantasies about rape and I feel like if I don't act them out(through masterbation) I'll never get them out of my head. I've tried to get these thoughts out of my head but the only way they go away is by releasing them through masturbation, then I feel OK, but very guilty. So I guess my question is do I keep trying to fight these thoughts or just go with them as long as I don't let it get out of control? Please help! Thank you!

It's probably better to masturbate when fantasising about consensual sex-this will reduce the liklihood of you actually offending.
You need to remove the sexualisation of rape from your mind. I still think that your fantasises are normal though.

There is a cure for "feeling Ashamed."

Realize that every person you have ever known, lived with, schooled with, churched with, vacationed with, drove past, walked behind, seen on the big screen, read about or will meet in the future has FANTASIZED and each would be very hard pressed to express the fact. It's not like Col. Mustard did it in the kitchen with the lead pipe, it's Col. Mustard, Mr. Plumb, Mr. Clean, Capt. Midnight, Lois Lane, Mr. White, Santa Claus and every human being before, during or after your stay on planet earth who has, is or going to do it anywhere at anytime and many of these other fantasizes would fry the brain of the most passionate Romulan. Hence forth Dr. Dolittle is given a silver certificate granting him the right to fantasize as he wishes without regulation or debriefing. The small print: This certificate will be null and void if recipient causes any portion of said fantacy to materialize outside of that which confines any and all fantacies generated in recipients brain.

Firstly - there is nothing wrong with you. I think a lot more people have those fantasies than we realise. Some women fantasise about being raped - but let me emphasise that they do not actually want to be raped. It is only some women, and the fantasy is more a safe way of exploring things. Actually being raped would be very different and unwanted. With these women, I think it is largely about not wanting to be in control of things but let someone else take over.

It might be that you feel that you want to be in control. This is who you are and is fine - and these fantasies are your way of expressing this. Trust me, I think a lot more people have these than you realise - there is nothing wrong with you. If you feel guilty, you could maybe read some erotica on rape and you will see that actually a lot of people have these and many of the stories emphasise that it is NOT something people should ever do in real life.

This thread is six years old. Please pay attention to the dates on the threads before you respond.