Hello everyone,

I'm a 24 year old female with ADHD. Although very outgoing around my family, I have always avoided people because of my fear of saying and/or doing something socially inappropriate (those with ADHD unfortunately know what I mean). Often, my hyperactivity and lack of focus is misinterpreted as conceitedness or a lack of respect for others or just plain weird. I find it easier to just avoid people altogether, but I end up feeling depressed because I spend most of my free time alone. I try to stay at the office as long as possible and bring work home with me because I have nothing else to do, and it distracts me from the fact that I am alone. The problem is that I notice my life passing me by. I don't have any memories of social activities that most people do (no childhood sleepovers, prom, college parties, sports games, etc. to speak of), and it worries and saddens me. I am wondering, perhaps from someone older with ADHD, is this common and does it ever change? Or is being alone something I just have to learn to accept?

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Originally Posted by autumn1983

Hello everyone,

I'm a 24 year old female with ADHD. Although very outgoing around my family, I have always avoided people because of my fear of saying and/or doing something socially inappropriate (those with ADHD unfortunately know what I mean). Often, my hyperactivity and lack of focus is misinterpreted as conceitedness or a lack of respect for others or just plain weird. I find it easier to just avoid people altogether, but I end up feeling depressed because I spend most of my free time alone. I try to stay at the office as long as possible and bring work home with me because I have nothing else to do, and it distracts me from the fact that I am alone. The problem is that I notice my life passing me by. I don't have any memories of social activities that most people do (no childhood sleepovers, prom, college parties, sports games, etc. to speak of), and it worries and saddens me. I am wondering, perhaps from someone older with ADHD, is this common and does it ever change? Or is being alone something I just have to learn to accept?

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Dear autum, here's a little insight from some one who's been where you are. You are not alone, you are afraid to take the steps to make friends for fear of being rejected. Find an activity that you like to do and associate with the people who like to do the same things and build your friendships slowly it worked for me and now I have more friends than I have time for. Ts

You should read "What does everybody else know that I don't?" by Michele Novotni. It's a great book for understanding ADHD and the social mistakes we make with out knowing it.

Hey, first of all... hang in there. I am a 36yr old Mom with ADHD. I know just what you mean about being worried that you will do something in public/group that is not acceptable. I had this fear for a long time and finally figured something out... if you find really nice people (don't worry about looks, age etc) they won't give a fig if your not always perfect. Good Luck!