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-   -   Should I stay or Go? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=151342)

  • Nov 12, 2007, 04:37 PM
    danni07
    Should I stay or Go?
    What 2 do when your partner of 1year, says he does not love you yet, but he loved his ex girl after 5months (who treated him bad)? He treats me really good and says he care's for me, but I don't no what 2 do, saying 'I love u' 2 someone and you know they don't feel it bak, isn't a nice feeling. Is it normal 2 not be in love after a year?. xxx
  • Nov 12, 2007, 04:47 PM
    Jiser
    Would probably walk
  • Nov 12, 2007, 04:50 PM
    danni07
    Yea, thanks for the answer, I'm thinking of taking a break, I'm a nice girl and don't want to be hurt again!
  • Nov 12, 2007, 04:53 PM
    DJ 'H'
    It all depends on how you feel about it really. You need to ask yourself "am I truely happy with him" - it sounds to me like your not too happy and because he does not love you and did his ex, your really bothered By it
  • Nov 12, 2007, 04:55 PM
    danni07
    Comment on DJ 'H''s post
    Good answer
  • Nov 12, 2007, 04:58 PM
    peggyhill
    If you aren't happy, then tell him. See if he wants to work on the relationship, maybe by going to counseling, or just by having honest conversation with you about it all. If he isn't willing to work on things, then if you are really unhappy, leave. Never stay in a relationship that makes you feel bad. Maybe he is afraid of getting hurt (since his ex treated him bad) and that is why he isn't ready for the commitment that saying "I love you" implies. Either way, if things don't change, I would leave him. Relationships only work if both people want the same thing. Good luck!
  • Nov 12, 2007, 05:07 PM
    danni07
    Your rite DJ-H I'm not 2 happy with the fact that he said he had more feelings for her, than he has for me.. I wudnt mind but we've been 2getha muchh longa then they were! And I do so much for him, when all she dun for him was cheat! THANKS 4 all the answers bak... much appreciated X
  • Nov 12, 2007, 05:14 PM
    DJ 'H'
    If your not happy you have your answer. Just because you have been with him longer than he was with his ex does not mean a thing. To be honest I would say he is taking advantage of you because he knows what you do for in.
  • Nov 12, 2007, 05:28 PM
    enigmagnetic
    Sounds like you're too giving for him. He fell in love with his ex probably because she was a b!tch. He's that type of guy, the one that likes abuse. When he has a stable and good relationship he doesn't dig it. I must ask this again. Why are all the good girls with jerks? First you tell him that it bothers you, then you say you want a break. You have to see if he really cares enough to come back. If he doesn't don't waste your precious love when it is unrequited. Walk away dear.
  • Nov 12, 2007, 06:10 PM
    jolienoire
    The reality is there is no time limit on when to say I love you, some people can say I love you in 2 days some take longer, especially if they had a bad experience. There is a possibility he may feel it but is scared to say it.. but that's beside the point, It's not if he say it or not it's how your relationship is? It's only a word, and it doesn't warrant any guarantee that someone will be with you... But just go with your feelings if you want to stay or not , his past relationship has nothing to do with you, don't compare yourself with the ex and especially don't tell him that... Just go with what you truly feel... What drastic changes will it have when he does say it?? It's what he shows you!
  • Nov 13, 2007, 01:31 AM
    danni07
    Comment on enigmagnetic's post
    Thanks this was very helpful and tru
  • Nov 13, 2007, 01:31 AM
    danni07
    Comment on jolienoire's post
    Thanks this was very helpful and tru
  • Nov 13, 2007, 01:44 AM
    danni07
    Yep I think enigmagnectic got it spot on, he does need a girl that will treat him like that. I've stopped doing most of the things I do for him. I cut down how many times I call him.. and guess what, he's the 1 that won't stop calling and texting me now, when I don't show him as much attention. Ive been hurt very bad by 2 guys before, they did awful things, I think I maybe 2 nice , I'm going to get harder! If that don't work, Im walking!
  • Nov 13, 2007, 03:01 AM
    DJ 'H'
    Just don't get your hopes up. Reverse pyshcology does not always work. And I really do not want you to get burned. I personally don't think he is worthy of you. But its your decision and if you need us we are always here x
  • Nov 16, 2007, 02:16 PM
    enigmagnetic
    Yeah I agree with DJ' H, I said it as an analysis as to why he is the way he is. I don't think you should take that tactic. His exgirlfriend is screwed up and he is screwed up. You're more stable. Don't become something you're not because of him.

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