After 5 months of being together everyday, because of our age difference and the fact that he could never introduce me to his mother or family (he told her but she was very upset) I broke it off with a guy that was 19 years younger than I.

He pursued me until I gave in and let him in my heart. He treated me so well, always attentive, always telling me he loved me and always wanting to be together. We did so many fun things together and we always talked about how much we loved being with each other and we wished we were closer in age. We both knew it was temporary but when his idea of temporary became saying he wanted to stay until he was 35 (6 years) and ready for marriage, I realized that I would only end up getting hurt.

2 months ago I told him that I didn't want to do it anymore, but a week later I gave in to him. A month ago I told him that come January, we would end the relationship and he cried but was accepting. Then I got anxious and asked him to leave last week. He asked me if this was this was really it and I said even if I gave in again, the issue of me wanting to end it would come up again.

He left but then I found out the day I broke it off, he spent almost all day putting out mass emails to try to meet other girls/women. It was like he never missed a beat or grieved the end of our relationship! He told me that it was his way of coping with the hurt but he still wanted to go out with me as friends. I told him I needed stop contact to be able to move on.

I can't imagine that if he truly cared about me, he could just go out and pursue another relationship so easily. I am hurt and feel so foolish for even getting involved. Was I fooling myself when I thought because he always wanted to be with me and was so attentitve towards me that he really loved me or cared?

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Originally Posted by mysty

After 5 months of being together everyday, because of our age difference and the fact that he could never introduce me to his mother or family (he told her but she was very upset) I broke it off with a guy that was 19 years younger than I.

He pursued me until I gave in and let him in my heart. He treated me so well, always attentive, always telling me he loved me and always wanting to be together. We did so many fun things together and we always talked about how much we loved being with each other and we wished we were closer in age. We both knew it was temporary but when his idea of temporary became saying he wanted to stay until he was 35 (6 years) and ready for marriage, I realized that I would only end up getting hurt.

2 months ago I told him that I didn't want to do it anymore, but a week later I gave in to him. A month ago I told him that come January, we would end the relationship and he cried but was accepting. Then I got anxious and asked him to leave last week. He asked me if this was this was really it and I said even if I gave in again, the issue of me wanting to end it would come up again.

He left but then I found out the day I broke it off, he spent almost all day putting out mass emails to try to meet other girls/women. It was like he never missed a beat or grieved the end of our relationship! He told me that it was his way of coping with the hurt but he still wanted to go out with me as friends. I told him I needed stop contact to be able to move on.

I can't imagine that if he truly cared about me, he could just go out and pursue another relationship so easily. I am hurt and feel so foolish for even getting involved. Was I fooling myself when I thought because he always wanted to be with me and was so attentitve towards me that he really loved me or cared?

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How can people move on so fast? Well when people breakup they are often vulnerable, and some people don't like to be alone, often times they do this because they can't find the happiness within themselves and look for others to fulfill them.. However this is not healthy, It almost is never any in case a good idea to have rebound relationships, Even if the relationship was good or bad. Sometime people do it for sexual reasons.. With no emotional attachments. Some just do it because they have been the entire time they were dating you and you never knew about it. Whatever the reason the point is someone can spend everyday with you and love you to death. But love doesn't warrant any guarantee that you will be with that person or they are the "one".

I think it is wise that you disattached yourself with this man, because if he moves on that quickly it shows, that he can't be alone with himself, and needs always to have someone. DO you really care that you broke up with him and he moved so quickly? You made a wise decision, he didn't even bring you around his family... If your intuition was telling you this was the thing to do then accept it you broke up with him and be happy. Don't let him manipulate your mind by telling you this is his way of coping. There are other ways to cope and what he don't realize is that you can't depend on others to validate your happiness, it has to come from Yourself.

I wouldn't worry one bit about this. Some people just can't be alone.. But you take this time to be alone don't worry about his decision but see the warning signs early next time before things go too deep...

Hope I helped

I don't think you were fooling yourself at all, as it sounds like you were together for a long time, and he wouldn't have stayed with you for so long if he didn't really care or love you, and he also wouldn't have pursued you when you were hesitant about the age difference. I think you did the right thing in ending it, even though you both loved each other because him putting a deadline on it and you both knowing it would be temporary doesn't show signs of being together forever. As for him 'moving on', I don't think that's what he did at all. It takes a very long time for people to move on or (for want of a better word) get over who they love. Looking for love through mass emails isn't moving on - it sounds like he just wanted to find someone else that he could share what you guys had with. It also might be that he's trying to reassure himself that he can be with someone, and that someone wants him, as guys get damaged pride when there is a break up. But from what you've put here I wouldn't doubt for a second that he loved and cared about you. I hope this helps and good luck with everything =) xxx