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-   -   I broke up with but now I am considering going back (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=150978)

  • Nov 11, 2007, 06:54 PM
    jboy
    I broke up with but now I am considering going back
    I have been dating a girl for the past 1.5 years. We we had an amazing relationship that I thought would lead us to marriage. This past year we went to 8 weddings. The second to last one hit her hard and she wanted to know where we stood. Problem is I was married for a year after dating that person for 6 years and had only been broken up for 5 months before I met this girl. So I explained that I want to take it slow, build a foundation, and everything will fall into place. It seems like since that fight we fight about every time we meet. The subject of the fights were not always critical, but for some reason we could never see eye to eye, spending hours at a time fighting. She is an extremely smart person and tends to let her mind run with her mouth. I finally couldn't take it and ended it. Two days later I am miserable and think I want her back. I called her, she said the breakup was good for her, she had a self realization, and will change. But she said why change for the next guy when she loves me so much and will change for me.

    At the time of the breakup I could only see the negatives, at this time I can see the positives outweighing the negatives, especially if things are different.

    I can't figure this out because I love her so much, but I am very nervous to return to the constant fighting.
  • Nov 14, 2007, 01:47 PM
    Kaos8888
    Follow your heart, that's all you can do. What do you have to lose? If you don't fight for what you want you will lose it, and if you go after her and it doesn't work out than your right back where you are, with the exception that you will know that things don't work. Its better to try and fail, than to just give up.

    (This is strictly a personal opinion and is not answered in professional capacity.)
  • Nov 16, 2007, 12:30 AM
    ceesophie
    Maybe she is just angry at the underlying problem that you won't make a life commitment to her and she is just picking stupid fights to avoid the issue that she really wants to talk about. On your part though, if you thought she was the one that you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, your heart would KNOW> Maybe you are afraid of commitment after your first marriage. But just be completely honest with her and tell where you stand in the relationship, she probably feels uncertain and is arguementaive because she sees all your friends getting married. Just have an honest heart to heart talk and everything will fall into place. Good luck and wish you both luck. :)

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