Hi all,

I want to move on, but I don't. I'm very torn.
The feelings I have for my ex still remain, and while I know these won't just disappear, I no longer want to feel miserable.

It's been 2 months since we split.
We've spoken since, where she has said (on separate occasions) that she thinks I'm a great guy, great boyfriend, she loves me, still has feelings for me, she's not sure if she made the right choice, she misses me, thinks about me a lot, she cares for me a lot, she wants to remain in a close friendship etc.
But she has also shared that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone and that she wants to work on herself. She also said that she doesn't want to ask for me to wait, but another time says she doesn't rule out us getting back together, but not now.

I am really getting fed up with being sad.
I'm keeping busy with work, friends, family, gym, hobbies etc.

But I still feel stuck.

An ex is an ex for a reason? She needs to work on herself? So what you need to do is go out and enjoy your activities and have fun and not wait. Your not obligated if things work out later on then that is great but do not hold on to something that might not ever come back.

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Originally Posted by confused-a-lot

Hi all,

I want to move on, but I don't. I'm very torn.
The feelings I have for my ex still remain, and while I know these won't just disappear, I no longer want to feel miserable.

It's been 2 months since we split.
We've spoken since, where she has said (on separate occasions) that she thinks i'm a great guy, great bf, she loves me, still has feelings for me, she's not sure if she made the right choice, she misses me, thinks about me a lot, she cares for me a lot, she wants to remain in a close friendship etc.
But she has also shared that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone and that she wants to work on herself. She also said that she doesn't want to ask for me to wait, but another time says she doesn't rule out us getting back together, but not now.

I am really getting fed up with being sad.
I'm keeping busy with work, friends, family, gym, hobbies etc.

But I still feel stuck.

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Torn expains it all! I can so relate to what you are saying. Some might even tell you that you can't move on because she has giving you hope. But that's not always the case. I too am torn and my ex has giving me absolutely no sign of wanting to get back together. We have had no contact yet I'm still finding it hard to just totally give up. I think it has a lot to do with knowing how great the past was but being unsure of the future. We still want what felt good and what felt right vs the unknown..

Jesus - I understand that she doesn't want a relationship. I get it. That doesn't change my feelings for her. I have been doing activities, keeping busy and enjoying myself. These are not my problem.

Missing - Thank you for understanding. I do feel I've been fed some hope. Though some may say it was her stringing me along, keeping me as an option, being polite, telling me what I want to hear. She could also be telling the truth. And to be completely honest I don't know which it is. Maybe after so long together I like to think the truth would be the case.

I think this situation type is one of the main reasons the term 'no contact' is thrown around here so much. You can't move on if you are still thinking about being with her. If you are worried about her never coming back to you, you could just tell her to not phone/talk to you unless she wants to get back together. I really doubt you will start healing if you talk to her regularly, especially with what she's said already.

Confused a lot

Your still confused, please re read my answer.

You can hope that things may work, but you still need to let go. You need to enjoy life, do something you've never had the opportunity to do. I'm sure there are areas in your life you can work on. It makes no sense to hold on to something hoping things will work out. Sometimes it's best to let go of a thing in order to heal. It could be you both need this time away. So take advantage of it and learn form it.