Ask Me Help Desk - He dumped me and I want him back. I do not feel it's over.

I will try to make this as short as possible.

The minute I met him, I knew we were supposed to be together... he did too. The day we met we spent the whole day and night together. After we parted ways (he lives 6 hours away) we texted messaged every single day and night. After a week, we were become official (even though it was over a phone call). We both agreed we wanted to be with each other. The whole time he would bring up distance, I would assure him that it was OK and made things more interesting and fun. He came back for another visit and everything was fine. He warned me that he would be getting super busy for the next couple of months and may not have as much time to talk to me. I told him it was fine and we agreed we still wanted to be together. At first it was OK not hearing from him absolutely every minute, but as time passed it got harder for me. He kept reasuring me he wanted to be with me but I couldn't help but feel like I wasn't as important. I would tell him this and he said he would try harder. I really wanted this relationship to work out regardless of distance. I wasn't having a good day and decided I wanted to talk to him, but of course he was very busy that day. So finally I told him we needed to talk, to which he replied "you're making me nervous". We spoke and the first words out of my mouth were I am miserable. I explained that I didn't feel like he wanted to be with me anymore. He told me he would try harder. Then the conversation turned for the worse and he said he would only be getting busier. He then said he was doing something he loved and that, that was his number one thing in his life. I told him I got that. So I said well we have options and one was to just be friends. He said Yes we should be friends. The conversation ended. He texted messaged me not even 5 minutes later apologizing for being honest. We didn't speak for a week. He TXTed me to see how I was. Then 2 weeks after that we had a conversation, over text message where I let him know that I missed him and he told me he missed me too. The next day I felt confident that maybe he still wanted to be with me. So like an idiot I texted messaged him saying I didn't want him to be over me. He replied that I lived 6 hours away. I asked him if that was why he didn't want to be with me and he replied that is just a small part of it. So I asked him why and he told me I am busy right now and I don't want to be in a long distance relationship. The conversation went on for a bit... basically I think I may have freaked him out... and that was the last time I spoke to him. I deleted him from absolutely everything... myspace, Facebook etc. You would think that I would get the clue that he doesn't want to be with me. In my heart of hearts I know we should be together, regardless of distance. What do I do?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dogma_Cali

I will try to make this as short as possible.

The minute I met him, I knew we were supposed to be together...he did too. The day we met we spent the whole day and night together. After we parted ways (he lives 6 hours away) we texted messaged every single day and night. After a week, we were become offical (even though it was over a phone call). We both agreed we wanted to be with each other. The whole time he would bring up distance, I would assure him that it was ok and made things more interesting and fun. He came back for another visit and everything was fine. He warned me that he would be getting super busy for the next couple of months and may not have as much time to talk to me. I told him it was fine and we agreed we still wanted to be together. At first it was ok not hearing from him absolutely every minute, but as time passed it got harder for me. He kept reasuring me he wanted to be with me but I couldn't help but feel like I wasn't as important. I would tell him this and he said he would try harder. I really wanted this relationship to work out regardless of distance. I wasn't having a good day and decided I wanted to talk to him, but of course he was very busy that day. So finally I told him we needed to talk, to which he replied "you're making me nervous". We spoke and the first words out of my mouth were I am miserable. I explained that I didn't feel like he wanted to be with me anymore. He told me he would try harder. Then the conversation turned for the worse and he said he would only be getting busier. He then said he was doing something he loved and that, that was his number one thing in his life. I told him I got that. So I said well we have options and one was to just be friends. He said Yes we should be friends. The conversation ended. He texted messaged me not even 5 minutes later apologizing for being honest. We didn't speak for a week. He TXTed me to see how I was. Then 2 weeks after that we had a conversation, over text message where I let him know that I missed him and he told me he missed me too. The next day I felt confident that maybe he still wanted to be with me. So like an idiot I texted messaged him saying I didn't want him to be over me. He replied that I lived 6 hours away. I asked him if that was why he didnt want to be with me and he replied that is just a small part of it. So I asked him why and he told me I am busy right now and I don't want to be in a long distance relationship. The conversation went on for a bit...basically I think I may have freaked him out...and that was the last time I spoke to him. I deleted him from absolutely everything...myspace, facebook ect. You would think that I would get the clue that he doesn't want to be with me. In my heart of hearts I know we should be together, regardless of distance. What do I do?

The long distance thing works out sometimes but BOTH people have to be committed to it(whether it be friends or bf/gf). He is being logical to an extent because it does require extra means to make this type of relationship work. I only say this because I am in a long distance type of relationship. Have been for a long time. We talk somehow everyday. We have discussed what we expect from one another, he is 12 hours away from me and also my very best friend(among other things). So regardless that I don't get to see him but about every 6 weeks or so, I know where we stand. IF you feel this strongly, you should tell him you do not want to be out of his life completely and that you want text or talk everyone in awhile to be friends then see where it goes.

Yep its over, it sucks, but he slowly and politely dumped you. Just because he dumped you that way, doesn't mean he still likes you. This is just a case of bad timing. It sucks but there will be others!!

Sorry but your heart of hearts, and the facts don't match up. Move on.

Give him another chance if he approaches you again.

Heyy {: ! My boyfriend dumped me, lets says 30 minutes ago and I want him back but all you can do is be calm about it don't overly show your heartbroken as that will make you seem desperate and begging him to take you back would be a disaster due to him feeling like he has to move on. Every time you see him make yourself look at your best, keep confident and keep your head held high. Show him you still want to be friends and make him feel like your always going to be there for him. I mean I'm still crying and I feel like my life has ended but if he truly loves you he'll come back, I promise.

He might be married or has found someone else he feels he's supposed to be with. This all sounds pretty fishy to me. Move on.