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So... I've never been faced with a situation like this. I currently have a child with a woman who is leaving me for another man. I need to know what sort of rights I have as the father of this child when it comes to visitations/custody and what things I may be faced with in terms of child support. Any advice/knowledge is wholeheartedly welcomed and appreciated.
I have the following tips:Quote:
Originally Posted by lordsyrinex
Have a good, reputable, attorney. You will need him.
Know what your child thinks of you, and respect his/her wishes. Making the child spend overnights when they really don't want to will stress the poor thing out.
I don't think you have to pay child support until you are divorced, but ask your attorney.
Communicate with your wife about housing, belongings, and all that jazz. It'll help.
Above all, do not say bad things about the child's relatives if they are visiting you. It will hurt their feelings.
I know a situation like yours.
It also depends on your child’s age. Younger children need more time and attention with both parents (in small blocks) and older children/teenagers can tolerate it but need long blocks with each parent.
The parent who gets custody has the right to make the decisions for his/her child and to take care of him/her, but that doesn’t mean that the other parent can’t give opinion, see or communicate with his/her child.
I’m not going to lie… In most cases I know, the mother is the one who gets the child custody. I don’t know your case, so… If she gets your child’s custody, remember, she can’t keep you away from you child. You also have rights and you have the right (like every parent does) to see your child growing up. And that must be a beautiful thing.
If you are the one who gets your child’s custody, the same happens, you can’t keep her away from the child.
An advice: You have to be very patient. Try to have a good relationship with your child’s mother because that will absolutely help not only you but also your child. Remember that your child’s mother is living with other man who is not your child’s father – Don’t let him feel like he’s the father, you are. You have to take really good care of this situation because it can be very complicated sometimes. Try to keep up! You should talk with her about the child and about your rights as the father. Do it for your child.
Good luck.
Several things, first are you married, next are you listed on the birth certificate. If you are not listed on the birth certificate you will first have to file for a DNA test and prove you are the father.
So what rights you have vary by the above. So what you have to do is hire the best attorney you can and sue for what you want.
I agree with the others. In the meantime, if she is being decent with communicating and not spiteful etc... See if she is willing to work out visitation plan with you.
This is pretty much how the Judge would most likely do
(assuming the mother gets primary custody
Mother gets child school nights,
Father weekends
Alternate holidays
One week (or two weeks, or one month) each for summer vacation.
If she moves far away
It would be more like
Mother gets child during school
Father gets Christmas vacation and summer
As far as child support
The Judge will determine that according to your income and it is easiest to have your employer deduct it from your pay.
Are you legally proven to be the father? THis happens by 1) a DNA test, 2) signing an acknowledgement of paternity or 3) being married to the mother at the time of birth. If one of these doesn't not apply to your situation then you need to get an adjudication of paternity. Then you need to file for custody, visitation or whatever else you want. She'll likewise file her own motions for child support, etc. The judge will sort through everything and issue his/her decisions. Remember, the more you ask for, the more you'll get. Start with a good, competent family law attorney.
The only thing I don't agree with is the statement that you won't have to pay support until your divorced, married and going to divorce or never married, you will have to pay support right away, in most cases and depending on where you live, the support will be back dated to the time of filing for support.
As far as visitation/custody, What do you want? Every one here has something different for an visitation order. The little things that work well for me may hinder things for you. So think about it and take ideas when you visit an attorney, and yes you need a good one fast.
You might be on good terms and believe you can 'work it out' with your child's mother, but something will happen and you will be in court anyway. I would think that it would be better to get to over with now before she can say "we always did it this way" and you are then ordered to do it like that. Hey, there are some couples out there that can agree on it all and never go to court, I hope for your child that you are like that.
If your not, then think about what works best for you for visitation. How close are you to them? Can you get your child every other weekend, or every weekend, or only once a month? If the child is in school, do you live in the school zone? If so could you share custody in a every other week kind of way or four days one week five the next? Then come the little things... Overnight guests, out of state vacations/moving, drinking around the child, childcare, holidays and birthdays, etc. There are thousands of things. Just have your 'wish list' ready when someone asks what you want for visitation.
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