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I was just wondering what is the best way is to get over an ex boyfriend? My boyfriend and I broke up about 3 weeks ago and I still love him like crazy. Probably more now than I did when we were dating. I have been asked out about 3 times since the break up, but I don't want any other guy but him. Any advice on this would be great! Thanks!
Sweetie, you are just thinking you love him because you are alone right now. With his abusive behaviour and drinking during your relationship, be glad he's gone. You will find other men in your future who will treat you as you deserve to be treated. Right now, take a break, go out with some friends, invite people over, or start a new hobby. Instead of thinking about 'lost love' think about what a jerk he was, and you'll do just fine. When you think you are 'slipping' into depression, which is common this time of the year, go somewhere where you did not go to together, and meet new people. So the coming holidays might be a 'bummer', but there will be better ones down the line, at least without a drunk jerk stressing you out. Keep in contact with us and we'll try and cheer you up a bit. Read some of the jokes I submitted here, or post some of your own on the thread I started. At least 50 million people are in the same spot you are, so don't feel alone. Keep away from dreary movies and books, and don't go to places you went to together, you'll only invite depression, and we don't want that.Quote:
Originally Posted by browneyes20
Keep us posted and good luck.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_33_3.gifget a new 'friend' like this to signal a new start in life. Also get white candles for energy and dark blue candles for inner peace and relax a bit.
I went through the same thing you are. I missed my EX like crazy for a while (still kind of do). It just a comfort thing I think. My (as did you EX) treated me like crap, so what is to miss? Im not saying hate him or anything because that won't help. Just make yourself not care, easir said than done but you can do it if I can. This guy was NO GOOD for you... period. Go out with your friends, and DO NOT TALK TO HIM. That makes it soooooo much easier, trust me. You have a BIG heart, and you are the forgiving type, give that to someone that deserves it and leave this punk behind you. He doesn't deserve you at all. It is completely natural to miss someone that you spent a lot of time with, but just keep yourself busy and have fun. I have just now (after 3 months) started doing things for me and doing things on MY terms and it feels GREAT! I can go out, date, kiss girls, and hang with my buddies, whatever I want to do. Give it some time, you will be just fine!
Chery and Jeffatl,
Thank you so very much for the advice. It was great! I will try to hang out with my friends more and meet more people. My ex and I have a lot of mutual friends, but I try to hang out with them when I know he won't be there. Again... thanks so much. I really appreciate the awesome advice. I will keep you posted as to how I'm doing. :)
Have you seen a snake slithering through the desert sand ? You will notice that even after the snake has long gone, the imprints of his scales will still be visible in the sand.
We most often get addicted of meeting the same people with a programmed feeling towards him/her. Just because you broke off, you tend to yearn for the same experience with him even after you made a prudent decision of breaking it up. It happens all the time. You are no exception. It's the addiction and not love for him. And you pretty well know that you have to add another addiction to remove old addiction. Meet friends and develop new skills, read books, and get yourself into some creative art. You will surely get over him. Just be busy, that's all.
When my boyfriend of 2yrs broke up with me my heart was in ruins. He treated me awfully throughout our relationship and wore me down until I was no-one. I was a hollow shell with no soul. When he left me I felt lost and alone and I craved him more and more. I had no confidence and was literally left with nothing - not even my personality.
It took me a good year and half to get over him and looking back I realise he was no good for me. I knew that then and I know that now - it was just the thought of being on my own that I could not handle.
My friends and family were the ones that got me through it. I have always been a performer (singing, Dancing, Acting) and it took my friends (who share the same interest) to drag me kicking and screaming to an audtion for a part in a musical. They worked so hard to improve my confidence and find me again. Once they broke through the barrier and I started to perform I really started to find my way back. I started to come alive and my personality once again started to surface. As time went on I started to enrole myself in more performances and got my DJ career back up and running. I am now soaring all over the soputh west of England DJing - I have gigs coming out of my ears and I love it.
In amongst the hardship - I found it hard dating other guys - but as time went on my ex became a distant memory and I started to move on. I am now in a relationshiip with a guy called 'Pete' and I am amazingly happy.
I guess what I am trying to say to you is to get out there and regain your confidence and claim back your independence. Get back into all the things you used to do before your met him; change you appearance, (new clothes, new hair do) - that's what I did - it made me like myself again which is half the battle with confidence. It's wonderful having a partner; but we should still be able to function independently.
In time you will be able to reflect back on the situation with know anger or upset and learn from it.
I have come out a much stronger person and I can cope with almost anything thrown my way. Occasionally I have my weak moments - but that is only because I am human.
DJ 'H'~
Thanks for the advice. I did change the way I look. I tend to do that after a break-up... I just change things about myself. I got a new hair color and I dress a little differently. I ran into my ex the other day and I just pretened I didn't see him. He just looked me up and down, and I knew right then and there that he knew he made a mistake. Not to sound cocky or anything. Anyway... thanks a lot!!
Tony2005-
Thanks for the advice also! It was great!
You two have broken up. Maybe he does not want you. Why not go out with somebody else. Do not rush it, but take more time to get over your loss. You never know how things will work out but know that things have a way of happening for the best.
Joe
Welcome dear, and hope you know you can count on us when you need us. Have a Happy Holiday!Quote:
Originally Posted by browneyes20
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Yea, no problem. Break-ups are never fun, or easy. The thing I have learned is that you can't let the break-up control your life. Good people are always the ones that get hurt, I think that is just a part of life. Just be glad that this is over with now before you put anymore of yourself into it. There is someone out there for everyone. My advice now would be to take some time for you. PLEASE don't jump into another relationship right off the bat, get over this before you start again. Baggage is no fun for anyone, I came really close to jumping into something else, but lucky for me I thought about what I was doing. Take this experience and learn from it. Now you know exactly what you want in a relationship, and you can totally use that to your advantage. Be picky, I am now and why not be? Think of it as YOU are the prize, get some confidence in yourself as a person who has TONS to offer a LUCKY someone that comes your way. I would say try and stay away from your mutual friends for a bit, if you can't and they bring him up or ask how you are doing, just say "im fine" or "tell them it doesnt bother you anymore". With mutual friends that will get back to him. I think it was onelife that said "the best pay-back is not to care" and that is totally true. Even if it seems impossible, just let it roll off your back. Don't let this guy know he is getting to you, or he wins again. Have a good time and chin up, he doesn't deserve you one bit. My guess is he will see that someday and come crawling back, and when he does YOU will have all the power to tell him "too bad!" :cool:
You are very welcome. The fact that you pretended not to see him shows that you are going through the stages of getting over him. I went through the motions - at first when I saw my ex out and about I was always keen to talk to him. Later I did not want him to even think I have noticed he was there; soon after when he would come up to talk to me I would be polite and then just walk off and now I don't even see him at all and if I do I am not bothered at all - he is just someone I used to know.
It's always a great feeling when they look you up and down; they can see that you are getting on with your life and they can also see what they are missing. It's his loss at the end of the day not yours and that's what you have to keep telling yourself. You sound like a great girl who has her head firmly screwed on. You are going to be absolutely fine and when the time is right a guy that deserves you will appear out of no where.
In the meantime just get out there; do things for yourself and do the things that you enjoy the most. You'll end up a much stronger person.
Just a little update for all of you, in case you wanted to know how I was doing. Things are totally looking up for me. I have been asked out quite a few times, but I turned all of them down. I'm just not ready for another relationship yet... I'm enjoying being single. My ex did call me on my birthday. He told me he missed me, that he was sorry and that he wanted me back. I felt the urge to tell him I missed him too and that I did want him back. However... I did not do that. We talked for awhile and he asked me if he could be my boyfriend again. I said that what he did to me hurt like hell. I told him that I was really enjoying my single life and that I have been just too busy for a boyfriend. I think he got the hint that I don't need him or anyone else like him in my life. Thanks to all of you who gave me such awesome advice, I was able to turn him down. And it felt great!! Again, thank you so much! You all really helped me out!! :)
Glad we could help, dear. Sometimes a little forced freedom clears ones head and helps realize that there is a life out there that you can enjoy without obligating yourself to anything else but yourself for a while without compromising all for someone who's not worth it. You'll find the right person who shares your interests without crowding you, just give it time. Until then, discover other things that you'd like to do without having to 'ask permission' or dropping everything because 'he's' coming home and dinner's not ready. Ahh, freedom... nice huh? Happy Holidays to you and hope you stay on to help others too.Quote:
Originally Posted by browneyes20
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