Hi,

I'm a 22 yr old guy who is extremely shy for 1st contacts. My whole life I've been very shy (have had an unhappy and bizarre childhood... Long story).

Years ago, many girls looked at me smiling (obviously showing interest) and even then I didn't dared to approach them!

This is so crazy I know, even when they showed *OBVIOUS* interest in me I didn't dared to approach them.

With years passing, I find myself less attractive but I know I'm still attractive enough.

So I really don't understand, I'm struggling with this feeling for so long but I don't know how to break through this.

Now I can make better contacts than before so things deffinately got better with time, but impossible for me to talk to a complete stranger.

I know I would find it great to approach girls I don't even know, complete strangers I could have a chat with.

I feel like I'm scared to come off as a player, scared of rejection.

I've had relationships off course, but every time the reason I met girls was because they came to me at first. Once first contacts are made I'm less much shy but even then I mostly don't dare to take the conversation to a next level, to really show my interest in this girl.

What can I do to overcome this, I can't run away from it forever, I can't stay living with regrets...

You need to find yourself some counseling and fast. I came from a broken home and an alcoholic mother who did not care what I did or where I went as long as I was not in her way. You need to find a support group for what ever kind of problems you had as a child and get plugged in to them. You first need to learn forgiveness then healing will come.

Shyness is generally the result of insecurity and unrealistic expectations placed upon oneself. Try giving yourself some positive self-talk. Convince yourself that you don't have to be perfect and that if anyone rejects you it's their problem, not yours and that you can't control nor be responsible for other peoples' decisions and actions. To give you a simple example, if I don't like the color of your shirt that's my problem, not yours. There's absolutely nothing wrong with your shirt and you are under no obligation to change your shirt to appease me. If I've got a problem with the shirt you're wearing then I've got to live with it and deal with it, not you. Does this help make a point?