My ex-husband, the biological father of my oldest child, is now in a Texas prison for a crime committed against her. I can give the exact nature of the crime if need be, but without going into it right now I can say that it is a crime that allows his rights to be terminated. He was sentenced in June 2006 after taking a plea deal. My husband was in Iraq at the time and has since returned and we are wanting to start the process of the termination of rights and adoption. I have never brought this subject up to her bio. Father because I haven't spoken to him since the crime came to light.

A month ago I went to see an attorney and just to start the process(really just his retainer fee) was going to be roughly $5,000 and that did not include the adoption. I saw a post where doing this on your own was discouraged. I am the first to admit I know absolutely about family law, but for us there is no way we can afford that.

The military does offer JAG(I'm not sure what it stands for, but it's the military legal department) but I don't know if they can even help us. Does anyone know?

Also, should I write my ex a letter requesting him to sign a form, or should I just do the involuntary termination? I am so lost. Can someone please point me in the right direction?

You definitely want legal help in this... you will need it for the adoption.

If you know for a fact that the bio fathers rights can easily be terminated, I would say send him the voluntary reliquish forms to sign himself. I mean, that is just one more thing out of the way... otherwise you will have to go to court to have it legally decided to terminate his rights and allow for the adoption.

I also would check with the military legal services and see if help in this area... and/or shop around for a cheaper attorney.

Definitely shop around. But first talk to the Judge Advocate General's (JAG) office. See what legal help the military can provide. Frankly I think $5K is rather high for what is generally a few hours of actual work. Talk to attorneys that specialize in Family Law.

I would not contact your ex yet. Frankly, I don't think you should have any direct contact with him. Let the attorney handle it.

His crime is one that is listed that allows for termination of rights. To put it lightly, he will never be allowed around children alone after his release.

Would an attorney contact him with the voluntary paperwork? Honestly, I don't want to ever have to see this man again after what he did to my child. She has no memory of him and I would like to keep it that way.

The next issue would be his grandparents. They pretty much "raised" him and the entire time his criminal case was going on they were somehow under the impression that I had just made this entire story up(even after he signed a written confession and plead guilty). So, they are technically my child's great-grandparents. Do they have any say? Could they attempt to get some sort of rights to her? These are the same people who told CPS they would supervise his visitation, obviously they failed miserably doing so.

I really appreciate the help!

Your attorney will do everything you need... such as contacting him and telling him the reasons he should sign the voluntary paperwork, and telling him the outcome of making a trip to court to have his rights terminated anyway.

Once his rights are terminated, I believe that his parents can have nothing to do with the child as well (correct me if I'm wrong Scott). Because in all actuality... lets say they had visitation with the child, who's to say once the father gets out of prison, they won't let him see the child?

Like I said, let the attorney handle everything. You don't want to be in direct contact with this creep again.

As for his grandparents, I think you have a reasonable case to deny them visitation. Grandparents have very limited rights in any case. They proved irresponsible in not properly supervising the visitation so the court is unlikely to trust them again.

Thank you both so much. I was given the JAG website and by looking at it it looks like they can actually help me and if they can't they will refer me to an attorney. I don't feel so helpless anymore. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they will indeed be able to do everything I need.

I really appreciate all of the advice you both gave me!

You're welcome, good luck :)

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Originally Posted by macksmom

Once his rights are terminated, I believe that his parents can have nothing to do with the child as well (correct me if I'm wrong Scott).

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I'm not Scott, but you are correct. Or that is how it is in Missouri. The papers my lawyer sent the bio dad to sign to voluntarily terminate his rights stated in them that him, his parents, his family will no longer be entitled to contact with her or her school, doctors, etc.

For the OP... it only cost us $1750.00

In some States - I have no idea about Texas - an inmate can neither be served nor sign legal papers without the Court's permission. Check with an Attorney or JAG and see what they say - good luck.

Try shopping around for a new attorney. A $5000 retainer sounds kind of high for a case of this magnitude. I doubt that the JAG can help you as this is a civilian matter, not a military one.