Hi, I'm very depressed, and I don't know how to deal with it. I've gone trough a lot of crap that most people nvr do.. and love is another one and friendz, well I know you will say this is stupid but its not to me, I rle do think I love this guy but he keeps rubbing his new girlfriend in my face (even though he says he's not) it hurts and I don't tell him that I just let him keep talking, its hard to cope with that, and I;m thinking mayb if I was gone he'd accuta;ly miss me, I don't know even know that, so help because I'm depressed and I rle like him and... thats my only option, help

No, what you do is stop any contact with the ex. And move on and find someone new yourself. IF you feel like killing yourself, you need to find professional help.

We nvr went out though

Sweetie, then how do you know you are in love with him? To truly love someone you have to be with them for years. Maybe you are in love with the idea of him.

But that's not necessarily true we've been bff;s for YEAARS

But I can't tell him that. Its not, its just I cant...

If u kill yourself, he will still be around and keep dating women. If you love him, the question is does he love you? Love and relationships can not be one sided, IT TAKES TWO. Be true to yourself, love yourself and save your energy and sanity for the good person you deserve and will come your way, in matter of time all these will be history, and u will be glad u stayed strong.

depressedhelp,

Bottom line, if you don't want to die then stop thinking you do. Your thoughts create your life. No joke. If you don't want to die then change what you are thinking. Stop wallowing in self pity and start thinking positive thoughts.

This is a list I found yesterday:

Words to... Words to
Remember... Forget

I can…………………………………………………………………... …….….I can't
I will…………………………………………………………………... …….…I'll try
I want to……………………………………………………………... ……….I have to
Will do………………………………………………………………... ….. Should have
My goal………………………………………………………………... ……Could have
Today…………………………………………………………………... …….Someday
Next time…………………………………………………………….. ………….Yes, but
Opportunity………………………………………………………….. ……….. Problem
Challenging………………………………………………………….. ………... difficult
Motivated………………………………………………………………... …….stressed
Interested……………………………………………………………………... worried
Possible…………………………………………………………………... …impossible
You, your, we, our……………………………………………………….. I, me, my
Love……………………………………………………………………………... …Hate

Think in the positive every day, helps us appreciate life, not the dwelling thoughts of death,I know, I have been there too.

I hope you write more in here and let us help you.

Ken

PS, if you write in plain ENGLISH, more people might be able to respond, chat room abbreviations are hard on the old mind... :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bluerose

depressedhelp,

Bottom line, if you don't want to die then stop thinking you do. Your thoughts create your life. No joke. If you don't want to die then change what you are thinking. Stop wallowing in self pity and start thinking positive thoughts.

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I am sickened by bluerose's advice to "stop wallowing in self pity and start thinking positive thoughts". This is the WORST POSSIBLE advice to give any deeply depressed person. And of course thoughts don't create your life - please, bluerose, spare us this meaningless New Age slop.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Isolde

I am sickened by bluerose's advice to "stop wallowing in self pity and start thinking positive thoughts". This is the WORST POSSIBLE advice to give any deeply depressed person. And of course thoughts don't create your life - please, bluerose, spare us this meaningless New Age slop.

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If thoughts don't create your life, what, in your opinion do? Can you show your facts and evidence, perhaps a medical example?

You sound young and perhaps inexperienced, especially on AMHD(this site).

While you opinion does count, please state it with facts,so we can understand your ideas.

KBC

I believe what Isolde was trying to say is that telling a person who is clinically depressed to just change their way of thinking is like telling a zebra to change his stripes. It just doesn't happen.

However, I don't believe that the OP is clinically depressed, just young and going through a tough time in life. If this is the case, then yes, changing one's thought processes is possible.

Isolde,

I'm sorry my reply offended you so much. But I believe an initial 'push' allows the person to come back and argue the point. And right or wrong if I can piss her or him off enough to come and argue the point then they are not about to do themselves any harm, they are too busy getting pissed off at me. And I can live with that.

Quote:

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When your in a dark room, you can always find a way to turn on a light, just try.

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I mean this in a diff way to your sig, but it applies in many ways
I know how hard such sadness/depression is to overcome, from personal experience
But you can switch on the light! The light isn't broken, its just it that the light switch is harder for you to reach than usual (well okay that analogy oversimplifies it a little bit)
It won't cure it entirely, but it will help
Think positive thoughts, smile! It really helps to smile despite it all, listen to happier music, read some poetry that is cheerful or uplifting, spend some time with a friend, go an exercise like at a gym or sumting (cheers me up, it gets endorphins going or sumting which alters your mood for the better) and it helps yourself image too
Hold your head up hi, straight back, etc, look people in the eyes, they will notice you more and pay better attention to you and you will make friends easier.
When we are young (as I am) we often believe we are in love, but often find that we are just experiencing a deeper crush than before
Its harsh, but its how youth is
With time, good friends, good advice, and a willingness and resolve to make a change in your life, you can overcome this, but it won't be easy. The first step to a better life, is the decision and conviction to make a better life.
People can help you, but you got to make the first steps, and steps along the way to improve your life.
Remember, about love, there's always another, the only true love, is the one true love, who will be yours forever and you end up marrying, the others before that one, are just lifes way of teaching you about relationships, and when you get rejected/dumped/heartbroken, its lifes way of pushing you over, so you can learn to pick yourself up.
Finding true love is a thing of trial and error, not fairytale.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bluerose

Isolde,

I'm sorry my reply offended you so much. But I believe an initial 'push' allows the person to come back and argue the point. And right or wrong if I can piss her or him off enough to come and argue the point then they are not about to do themselves any harm, they are too busy getting pissed off at me. And I can live with that.

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I have absolutely no idea what this is supposed to mean. And after reading some of the "expert" advice on this site I won't be wasting any more time here.

Isolde,

I respect your decision. All I can say is that I hope you never find yourself in the position some of these young people find themselves in.

I'm sorry you didn't feel you had anything to offer here.

Have a great life!!

I agree with bluerose,

I respect this decision also, and hope you are not angry all the time with yourself, it shows a little.

Get well soon,

Ken

Trust me on this... you may think you love him but I doubt.
I thought I was in love many times, but I found out later I was very wrong.
Anyway, about the suicide... not the answer.
Yes you are feeling much depression and pain but it doesn't mean you have no choice but to take the coward's way out. You should get through this.
Every time I face a problem I tell myself get through it. But I'm not saying to rush through your life. You are hurting badly but suicide will only make things worse.
People will miss you.

I'll get back to you... Until then.

If you really need much help and are close to the edge e-mail me your number and I'll speak to you. I'm better talking then typing.

[email protected]

I perfectly understand what you're going through. I think most people, especially in their teens, have gone through the same thing. It's especially difficult when you harbour these feelings for a close friend. It makes it seem much more than a crush.
But in the grand scheme of things, these feelings are probably temporary. And even if they aren't, somebody with such a capacity for love certainly should never contemplate ending their life. If he's such a good friend, value that friendship and make the most of it. It's not always easy, but it's well worth the effort.
Take care.

To several of the people who've replied to this thread, can we all please try to remember that we're not here to criticize one another, we're here to offer advice. If you don't like what someone says, offer an alternative opinion. But don't get so distracted that you forget who really matters here.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KBC

This is a list I found yesterday:

Words to................................................ ..................Words to
Remember.......................................... ....................Forget

I can………………………………………………………………….......…….….I can’t
I will…………………………………………………………………..........…….…I’ll try
I want to…………………………………………………………….....……….I have to
Will do……………………………………………………………….....…..Should have
My goal………………………………………………………………....……Could have
Today…………………………………………………………………......…….Someday
Next time……………………………………………………………..………….Yes, but
Opportunity…………………………………………………………..………..Problem
Challenging…………………………………………………………..………...difficult
Motivated………………………………………………………………....…….stressed
Interested…………………………………………………………………….....worried
Possible………………………………………………………………….....…impossible
You, your, we, our………………………………………………………..I, me, my
Love……………………………………………………………………………........…Hate

Think in the positive every day, helps us appreciate life, not the dwelling thoughts of death,I know, I have been there too.

I hope you write more in here and let us help you.

Ken

PS, if you write in plain ENGLISH, more people might be able to respond, chat room abbreviations are hard on the old mind...:)

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I like your list as well as your thoughts! You have posted some good things to remember!