Ask Me Help Desk - Girlfriend wants to break up...

Ok me and my girlfriend have been going out for 7 months and then just out of the blue she starts cryng while I'm talking on the phone with her and says she wants a break, and it hit me hard real hard, I had no idea what to do and I was all confused and hurt and feeling like crap. And then the next day I talk to her and she says that she just doesn't want a boyfriend right now and she wants to be single, well that's OK with me because she said she would get back with me, well I wait and wait and things are going pretty well , I did feel bad though and we still said that we loved each other but now she doesn't say that she does anymore and she was going to come eat with me for thanksgiving but now she doesn't and even though she still says that she loves me and that she will get back with me its still hard and I think I'm making things worse and I need help on what I should do.

Easy man, I went through the same thing you are right now and let me tell you, Don't HOLD ON! You will just wind up driving yourself crazy and hurting yourself a lot more. When a girl tells you that she needs some space (a break in your case, its all the same crap) you have to give her that. DO NOT CALL HER, TEXT HER, OR EMAIL HER!! Don't!! This will solve NOTHING. You need to focus on you right now buddy, I know its hard, and it hurts. Nothing anyone can say will make anyhting better, but listen to me... PLEASE!! My EX broke up with me after 5 years man, she said the same stuff "I will come back to you" "I think we are soul mates"... all of it. Just let go. It really seems impossible to do, but for your sanity that's all you can do. I chased and chased my EX for 2 months and all it brought me was more pain, now she is dating someone else and I just keep getting crushed. The best thing you can do right now is Don't CARE WHAT SHE DOES! MAN I feel bad for you... Don't feel bad for yourself though, you sound like a good and caring guy that has a lot to offfer. Keep your head up and hang out with your friends and family. Find something to keep you busy like join a gym. Things will get better, just stay calm and think rationally. Chin up buddy, everything will work out in the end. :)

Yeah I want her to be happy even if it doesn't include me but she calls me everyday and talks to me on I'm and I was wondering what I should do, I'm afraid that if I ignore her that she will forget about me and have nothing to do with me and I really really don't want that to happen because therese no other girl like her and I don't want to lose her

Don't be by the phone so much,I mean don't you have something to do beside moon and pine.After7 months you barely know her name so what's the big deal.She broke up with you and you just sit around doing nothing?Forget her for a while and get back to the real world where young people go and have a good ole time.See how you feel in 7 months .Don't call .I don't believe in that "I'll be back to you stuff"Sounds to me like she's holding you in reserve or something.You will be okay once you take back control of your life.good luck! :cool:

Hi,
I am sorry to hear about this. Sounds like you really care for her.
She is being honest with you, in telling you she wants to be "single" for now.
She wants to be your good friend, but that's all.
If you continue showing her respect, be honest with her, and be truthful in what you say to her, you still have a chance with her.
At 63 yrs old, married 28 yrs, I have been there, done that; many years ago.
Love for another, and relationships are sometimes hard to build.
For now, I would be her friend, talk with her, and just be there for her.
If it causes you too much pain to do that, it might be better to not communicate with her at all.
Eventually, both of you will find an answer. I do sincerely wish you the best, and hope it all works out for you. But remember, there are no promises in life; just be yourself, and hope for the best.

Umm don't ignore herjust let things happen if you were meant to get back togather you will and if she still tells you she loves you then she still likes you

Sounds to me like this girl is keeping you dangling on a loose thread;she does not really want you; but until she feels stable again she wants to have you lingering in the background as a security blanket.

I know it's hard but you really need to cut that thread now; before she does. She will only leave your heart in ruins if you don't.

I think you should continue talking to her along with making new friends for yourself. When you get more excited about meeting new fresh friends, then you will begin to realise that you are giving undue importance to your girlfriend because she is unable to reciprocate with you. She doesn't feel about you the way you feel about her. You need not get out of this drastically. Make new friends, hang out with them, get crazy with them and you will soon get over your girlfriend. Besides, if she gets back, you can accept her. Its better to be prepared for the worse than to keep on waiting for the best. Just chill out and do not get carried away by your feelings for her. There are many nice girls who are dying to have a guy like you who really cares and understands. Go on, have fun now.

Once in a far off land when I was more of an immature little brat than I already am, anytime I would have ever told that stuff to a guy was because there was someone else. Once I broke up with this really cool guy just to date this hottie italian guy and it turned out the italian guy just wanted to be my first and when I told him I wasn't ready that was the end of our relationship. Boy was I a jerk. I'm glad I've grown up ( just a little :D ) and know how to be honest. Read my odd typing skills: She's PLAYING YOU LIKE A FUN LITTLE GAME. Ill bet she writes about it every night in her diary or talks about how smart she thinks she is to all her friends. Maybe if you open your eyes up and stop closing yourself off you might notice someone else much better for you. That person could be someone you know and you been too blinded to see. The best way to find that person is too look for the signs. If she rolls her eyes or looks unhappy when you talk about miss playa then that's the one you need to talk to.

Hey bro,
I feel your pain man. I'm going through the same thing with my girlfriend. We've been together for six weeks now and she hasn't been putting much of an effort to commit to this relationship. She tells me that no guy has ever treated her so well and that I'm by far the best boyfriend she's ever had, yet at the same time she has yet to introduce me to her family or asked me to join her on a night out with her friends. I've been the one who has called, told her how I feel, been more affectionate, the whole nine bro. She recently said she "needs some space" and I can tell that she feels confused because on one side she has these great feelings, but on the other side I think she's confused about whether she wants to commit to a relationship right now. It's very difficult and I understand what you're going through.

I have received countless advice on why it is best not to reach out to her. Your girl will realize what she doesn't have in her life and come to terms with how she really feels about you once you give her that space. I made the mistake of calling her already, and I will cease to do so until the day she decides to "man up" to her emotions and come clean. I think I'm protecting my heart as best as I can right now and trying not to let my emotions take over my life and I think you should do the same. Keep yourself busy and try your hardest not to think about it because right now you have done all you can and it is entirely up to her to come to terms with her feelings. It's okay if a girl does this to you. No relationship is perfect, and every relationship will have its ups and downs. But what I can tell you is that in order to keep your mind thinking positively, you need to list your priorities in your life. For instance, I am about to start professional school in three weeks. Although I really want to have a relationship and I have a lot of feelings for my girlfriend, I have come to terms with myself and acknowledge the fact that although she may not be in my life one day, my career will always provide me with some sort of lifelong stability (even though it is in financial security and not in emotional comfort). So now, write down your biggest priorities such as your career, your immediate family, your main goals in life, and you will soon realize that although your heart may be broken now, in the end you will find the woman you have been looking for while at the same time, your other priorities have already fallen in place for you.

Be strong. Stay busy. Be happy! Life goes on! Learn to control your emotions and you will be a very successful husband and father.

I just signed up on this site to answer this question.
The same thing just happened to me yesterday and I am absolutely heartbroken.
Though I am only 16, I felt she was the one, we both lost our virginity to each other and she wanted a break... after 2 days... a break up... I can't do this.

I've literally contemplated suicide but I cannot do that.
I tried to chase after her and I might see her this weekend to try to bandage things up..

Quote:

Originally Posted by thebroken

i just signed up on this site to answer this question.
the same thing just happened to me yesterday and i am absolutely heartbroken.
though i am only 16, i felt she was the one, we both lost our virginity to eachother and she wanted a break...after 2 days...a break up...i can't do this.

ive literally contemplated suicide but i cannot do that.
i tried to chase after her and i might see her this weekend to try to bandage things up..

Ain't NO WOMAN in the world worth your life man. NONE of them. This kind of stuff happens, to everyone, and it was bound to happen to you. I no NO one who has actually married the girl they lost their virginity to. It is a special bond you forever have with that person, but it very rarely leads to marriage. You will be fine.

Kc is right, no one is worth my life except myself. Girls come and go, it's a fact of life. Also, going over to her house and begging to take you back? Dude, do you have set? Or any self pride at all?

I feel bad for you dude, but everyone goes through it. My girlfriend just broke up with me as well. I wouldn't be too optimistic about reconciliation and would just move on. If a woman says she needs time for herself, and she is confused she is usually not confused. Also, even though you are in "love" with her why would you want to get back together with someone who would discard you? Why would you wait for someone who is probably out with other guys? My advise, get a replacement. That will make you forget all about her. If you really want to get her back be seen with the replacement. You will probably only get her back temporarily though.

But in general if you have to get back with this person resist any urge to call, text, and never go where you know she will be because you will simply see something you don't want.

I don't know how old you are but expect this to happen many times before you get married. Hell even after your married it could happen.

I guess if it is totally your fault there is no harm in trying to get her back but it depends what you did. My advise, find another. Then another after that, and so on and so on.