Hi,

I was in a relationship with no future. It lasted for 2 years... 2 long and unhappy years with a lot of crying. Right when I was parting with the guy there came along a new friend. He was handsome and nice and really helpful. He helped me to get over my unhappy relationship and he was always there for me all the way through. He liked me and he wanted to be with me and get to know me closer. Then I was ready to go for it. And we started dating. It was a wonderful time. I wasn't so happy for long... I was happy with him. All my friends would notice that and say that I'm shining and glowing, etc. He made me feel good and I was falling for him. He is very loving and caring and he treats his girl like a piece of gold. And he was falling in love with me too which was scaring him. The problem is that we come from different countries and he only works in my home country. He is from a country that I'll never relocate to. It's very far from my home and it's just impossible for a number of reasons. And he has a plan to go to navy etc, in other words big plans and these strong feelings that have been developing is a hindrance to all his plans and to my plans and needs in my life. That's why we broke up. He was the first one to say it. But I need him so much. Even that I realise that there is no future for us I still want to be with him. And I want to stop it. I seem to be always in the relationships that have no future. But he makes me feel good and happy and I don't know what I'm going to do without him. He told me that he is falling in love with me more and more and he will not be able to leave me behind when his work contract finishes. And these wasn't in his plans to get married or start leaving with a girl as he wants to go to nacy etc... I don't know what to do... I know we should stop it now until it's late and more difficult as there is no way I can relocate even if he asks me to... I don't know what to do.. advice and help

I did a distance relationship a while back, it rarely works out, and the fact that ul never locate to his country shows it probably won't work.

I know that it won't work out but it's so difficult to face up to it. I need him so much. I'm so jealous now, I've bad thoughts and feelings. I can't help suspecting that he might be with other girl now. He is not writing to me, haven't got a call from him for 4 days now. I know we decided to stop the relationship. I just can't believe that he really meant it and becoussometimes I think the reason wasn't the one he told me about that he is afraid to fall in love with me more. We'd been very close before the break up and both are very jealous and had few fights over it. And he said we are going to get hurt and that he will be ripped apart to leave me behind as his feelings are growing stronger every day and it's best to stop it now. I know its for the best that we have no contact now but I need to hear from him at least to know how he is now and how he is feeling... the thing is that he is very loving person by nature and he is very impatient and for him to have this patience now and not call me is so strange that I'm starting to think bad things. Before he couldn't leave a day without hearing my voice... what do you think people? Do my suspicions and fears have ground? Or is it me and my jealousy. He loves/loved me very much and even introduced me to his father. But now I don't know what to think. It's so not like him. Or is he really so decisive and strong about what he said as he doesn't want us to get hurt?.

Wow, I know it's been over a year but I can totally relate. Obviously the situation has changed as it's been so long. What happened? My boyfriend and I really don't have a future either, but I can't imagine being without him. I'm dying to know how your situation turned out!

So you broke up and then you didn't hear from him? Did I understand you correctly?

Well, if you're broken up then its not that strange that he's not contacting you. And I can understand if this is confusing and painful, but he has no obligation to talk to you now that you are no longer together. His obligation is to take care of himself and his own life. And you simply need to swallow that feeling of jealousy, because whether he is seeing someone else... well all though that will be painful for you to know, its really none of your business, your business is to take care of you and to worry about your well being!

So if you are broken up you shouldn't really expect to hear from him, and he doesn't need to write you or call you anymore. As painful as that is, you need to find a way to accept it and move on with your life.

Why do you need him? Because he makes you happy? Could you explain this further?

It seems that you went from one bad relationship, into this one (which according to yourself had no future), maybe you need to learn how to live without a relationship?

Roxy is right, the reality of the situation is you should leave each other alone, and live your own life so, move on. He obviously has.