Ok, my boyfriend Has had a very hard life. Hes been engaged before and has a daughter, that got tooken from him. Hes honestly not a bad person and I love him. But when he got his daughter tooken away from him he turned to drugs. And he's telling me how he wants to die. I love him with all of my heart and I would die if he did. I want to help him because he's addition is getting worse. And he's getting sader and sader But he's telling me that there's nothing I can do. I want to help so bad! I mentioned a rehab. But he flipped. However I think that he doesn't really need that. I just need HELP!! So please help me.

-sadgirlbecca

He's Right! Until He Can Step Up Admit He Has A Problem And Ask For Help There Is Nothing You Can Do. In The Meantime Stop Feeling Sorry For Him. I'm Not Trying To Be Rude, But It Seems You Are Making Excuses For Him. It's Hard Watching A Loved One Suffer. Trust Me I Know, But I've Come To Realize Everyone Makes Their Own Decisions.

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Originally Posted by ksholde

He's Right! Until He Can Step Up Admit He Has A Problem And Ask For Help There Is Nothing You Can Do. In The Meantime Stop Feeling Sorry For Him. I'm Not Trying To Be Rude, But It Seems You Are Making Excuses For Him. It's Hard Watching A Loved One Suffer. Trust Me I Know, But I've Come To Realize Everyone Makes Their Own Decisions.

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Ksholde, could you please not capitalize the first letter of reach word? It makes it imposssible to read your posts...

Thanks

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Originally Posted by sadgirlbecca

Ok, my boyfriend Has had a very hard life. Hes been engaged b4 and has a daughter, that got tooken from him. Hes honestly not a bad person and i love him. But when he got his daughter tooken away from him he turned to drugs. And hes telling me how he wants to die. I love him with all of my heart and i would die if he did. I want to help him because hes addition is getting worse. And hes getting sader and sader But hes telling me that theres nothing i can do. I wanna help so bad! I mentioned a rehab. but he flipped. However i think that he doesnt really need that. I just need HELP!!!! so please help me.

-sadgirlbecca

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Can you accept that you are in a bad relationship?

You are.

Being a savior is for a Friend or a mentor or a parent or a civil servant or a social worker....

NOT a LOVER.

Sorry, but emotions are clouding priorities here. This is not a candidate for serious relationship. It's a person in need. Stop trying to be both. Be a friend and do what you can... But get some mental space.

Call his family and get helpp from Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous... He has a log road ahead. In a couple years you may be friends or lovers.

GOOD LUCK and good for you for trying to help- but do it the right way.

I know it sounds extreme right now, but the best thing you can do is give him an ultimatum. I mean, you can't feel sorry for someone that won't help themselves. Suggest he either go into rehab, or you either call the police and get him put in jail or you leave him. Now is the time for tough love. As I said before, you can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves. You are honestly just making him worse. Don't do this in a mean way though, make sure he knows that you love him. Honestly, if and when he does get better, he will thank you.

This is dangerous territory you are in... I have seen so many young, beautiful, intelligent girls who's lives have been ruined by reckless partners. Drugs are illegal and that is the end of the matter and eventually I fear his addiction will cause you to be caught up in his downward spiral.
Don't protect him, don't make excuses if you really want to help him (which I think you really do) put him in contact with narcotics annonymous or if comes to it call the police I still occasionally see ex addicts who I have dealt with and trust me after getting the help they need all are grateful for our intervention.
You sound like a sweet girl don't get dragged down

U really can't do too much until he admits he's got a problem and he wants to deal with it. I think the best thing u can do for now is be there for him night and day, reassure him u love him and ul be there to help him through things. Hopefully hel realise his problem and get help soon xx