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-   -   Corproal punishment for 5 YR OLD (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=148682)

  • Nov 5, 2007, 05:49 AM
    CHERIE_LABAT
    Corproal punishment for 5 YR OLD
    My 5 yr old son was paddled by the principal I have several problems about this and would like any help or suggestions.
    1.) I signed the form to allow him to be paddled but I wrote in very noticeable informing them that before he was to be paddled they must first call and tell me what he is being paddled for. I live 2 miles from the school.

    2.) my son received a paddling by the principal which left a very red and raised mark on him 5 hours later. I do have pictures. The principal paddled him at nap time (after lunch). He got around to calling me to inform me he was paddled at 4:00 pm.

    3.) he was paddled on Tuesday by the teacher for hitting a child and used the restroom on the wall. I went talked to the teacher on Wednesday and also sent a note telling her he was not to be paddled again. I made it very clear I expected to be called before hand.

    4.) the principal had the teacher walk him over to the office on Friday and he was paddled again. This is when he left the marks. This is the best part the teacher never told him she already paddled him nor did she stop it. So the principal left marks on my 5 yr old child by accident. It took him 3 days to get around to handling it and he was 4 hours late on calling to get permission since they were told not to at all.

    What should I do and how should I handle this?
  • Nov 5, 2007, 05:53 AM
    shygrneyzs
    You call an attorney. Explain all this. While you signed an authorization granting the paddling, you did not agree to excessive paddling and you say you also had stated you were to be notified before punishment was administered. Get a lawyer on this ASAP!

    Take your child out of that school if you can, at the very least, rescind your authorization for the paddling.

    Note: Did you take pictures of the marks? Did you take your son to a doctor? Use anything like that to bolster your argument and to provid evidence.
  • Nov 5, 2007, 05:59 AM
    J_9
    Your first step should be getting an attorney ASAP. Have you contacted the Superintendent? That should be your second step.
  • Nov 5, 2007, 10:30 PM
    CHERIE_LABAT
    Thank you for your response. I have talked with the superintendent and the school board had a meeting tonight. I went to the meeting but with it being such last minute the board said it would be best to let them add me to the agenda for the next meeting. I agreed to do that. I figured that would give me time to find an attorney. I did send a note and told the teacher and principal that my son was not to be disciplined by anyone they could call me and I would handle the problem or bring him home. I did get a copy of the corporal punishment letter that I signed with my specific instructions. So that proves they are at fault and yes I did get pictures and emailed them to the superintendent.
  • Nov 6, 2007, 05:13 AM
    shygrneyzs
    Sounds like you have a good handle on the what is going on. Hope this all turns out well for your son and you. Are you going to look for a different school?
  • Nov 6, 2007, 08:57 PM
    CHERIE_LABAT
    I live in a rural area there is not another school that he can go to unless I move to another school district. I'm going after the teacher and the principal changing schools. My son is doing great in his new classroom across the hall from the old teacher. Also the teacher helper is an old girlfriend and she baby sat my 15 yr old son. I feel a lot better knowing that she will look out for him.
  • Nov 6, 2007, 09:00 PM
    shygrneyzs
    Hopefully all will turn out well for your son. You are a good parent - some would have let it all slide.
  • Nov 17, 2007, 04:23 PM
    NowWhat
    Not to be insensitive, but why would you give anyone permission to paddle your child in the first place?
    You may have said this already, but have you revoked your permission to do this in writing and made sure it was attached to the permission letter?

    I agree with everyone's posts to contact an attorney.
  • Nov 17, 2007, 04:54 PM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NowWhat
    Not to be insensitive, but why would you give anyone permission to paddle your child in the first place?

    Some schools do this. Especially here in the South. It is routine unless you sign a waiver stating that you don't want it done. Personally I think it is barbaric, so I have always signed for my children NOT to get paddled.
  • Nov 17, 2007, 04:59 PM
    NowWhat
    I just could not give anyone permission to lay there hands or paddles on my child. For situations just like this.
    The teacher knew the kid had been punished but left that part out with the principal - so he got it again. Did the teacher get some sick enjoyment out of the kids pain?

    My entire family is in Georgia - and I have never heard of this. I was paddled as a child, but I didn't think any school could legally do that anymore.
  • Nov 17, 2007, 05:04 PM
    kiki_doki
    Oh my gosh, he is 5! Why is there the need to "paddle" a 5 year old, if I ever smack my children (which is very rare, as I can make them understand things by talking to them) I do it with my hand... what is a paddle (I'm assuming its like a stick)? I feel so sad that your son has had to go through this, I would be enraged if someone ever touched my kids... how do people cope down south?? I'm sure this is classed as child abuse...
  • Nov 17, 2007, 06:03 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    A child needs to be paddled at times, and parents who act like this do the worst thing they can for the child, let the teaches and principal paddle a child who needs it, and stop trying to raise a child from the new age books on kids.
  • Nov 17, 2007, 06:08 PM
    NeedKarma
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
    A child needs to be paddled at times, and parents who act like this do the worst thing they can for the child, let the teaches and principal paddle a child who needs it, and stop trying to raise a child from the new age books on kids.

    Actually I'll raise my children as I see fit whether it includes 'paddling' or not. In my case it's not.
  • Nov 17, 2007, 06:30 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Normally it is societies issues, since from what I have seen those with liberal parents who do not paddle in a larger percent have worst manners and lack more self control. But how you deal with your children at home is your business, how the school deals with them should be the schools, and parents need to butt out and let the schools back to doing their jobs.
  • Nov 17, 2007, 06:33 PM
    kiki_doki
    Are you joking me? I smack my children when needs be, I didn't learn that from a bloody book! Its common sense... And beating a 5 year old is doing what exactly?? Teaching him that hitting is wrong?? Take a moment before answering...
  • Nov 17, 2007, 06:35 PM
    NowWhat
    I am sorry, but it is not the schools job to hit my child. If they, as educators, those who have the "calling" to reach children - can't find a better way to discipline other than to hit a child, then they should find a new profession.

    Their job is to teach - not hit.
  • Nov 17, 2007, 06:46 PM
    N0help4u
    Permission or not, a paddling should never get to the point that it leaves red marks. Especially ones that you could take pics of HOURS later. Child Protective Services take kids off parents for way less than that!
  • Nov 17, 2007, 07:53 PM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NeedKarma
    Actually I'll raise my children as I see fit whether it includes 'paddling' or not. In my case it's not.

    Got to spread the love NK, while a pop on the tush from mom or dad may be appropriate if the situation deems (running out into traffic for example), paddling should not be done In my opinion.

    Paddling is demeaning, degrading, and totally outrageous. I would never let another adult touch my children!!

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
    from what I have seen those with liberal parents who do not paddle in a larger percent have worst manners and lack more self control. But how you deal with your children at home is your business, how the school deals with them should be the schools, and parents need to butt out and let the schools back to doing thier jobs.

    Whoa, now I'm about in an uproar!! Man, I'm hot!!

    I have raised 4 beautiful wonderful children and only 1 has ever been spanked, and only once. I take that back, 2 kids have, and only once each. My youngest one last year for SEVERELY acting up in school (popped on the booty by me). I now regret what I did. Every time he gets in trouble at school he gets tearful and asks "Mom, are you gonna spank me?" I will NEVER do it again, although the situation warranted action.

    My 4 children are the most loving and respectful children you would ever meet. They have good manners and a TON of self-control.

    Hitting does not equate good behavior. Intimidation does not teach good behavior. Good parenting equates good behavior.

    The parents should butt out and let the schools do their jobs? He! No!! It is up to us as parents to know what goes on at school. It is us as parents to teach our children manners so that they behave at school, and when they don't it is our responsibility as parents to deal with the situation in an appropriate manner.

    I know, as a parent, I visit my children's schools daily. Yes, I said daily. Yeah, I am the exception to the rule... but I don't paddle, spank, or hit my children. I am an active role model in their lives. I give respect and I get respect.

    Wow, my blood pressure is high now!
  • Nov 17, 2007, 09:24 PM
    blondiechika05
    First off, I can't understand why you would have said school officials could touch your child in the first place. School officials should not, under any circumstances, be hitting students no matter what the method. Restraining students, if they are armed for instance, is one thing, but not hitting. Yes, let the school discipline students while they are on campus, with parent notification and consent if necessary (i.e. suspension would not require consent (I don't think... )).

    Secondly, with the general spanking issue... my parents were among those that thought it was okay to spank a child. My father never used anything other that his hand, my mother sometimes used a wooden spoon, I don't think it was ever bare bottom. I, however, do not believe it is okay to spank a child. Maybe it is because I experienced it but I see it as a form of child abuse. My parents did it right up until I was 17 (if you haven't seen me post in other threads, I'm now 23) and only stopped because the school psychologist stepped in and told my father he shouldn't be spanking a 17 year old after I vented to a teacher. Yes, I know the child at issue here is only 5 but if it is allowed to happen at all, who knows when it will stop.

    Corporal punishment in schools was also outlawed many years ago. I don't know if this is just in New York, where I'm from, or just in public schools.

    To wrap up, children should never be hit as punishment and remember that a child that was abused is more likely to abuse as an adult so it needs to stop now.
  • Nov 17, 2007, 09:28 PM
    Wondergirl
    This is probably a Christian (independent Baptist?) school in the Bible Belt. If one of their discipline measures is paddling and if a parent signs a consent form, paddling is what happens if a teacher or school authority decides the child needs it.

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