Hi, this is my story... about a year and a half ago I met this guy... I thought he was amazing until I had to go away for university... he cheated on me for pretty much a whole year and sucked me back into it with him making me believe his lies but only to hurt me worse. I finally ended things with him and tried to move on. Months later I began dating another guy and thought finally this is going to be good but he ended up cheating on me and ending the relationship on Facebook. You can only imagine the devastation this caused be. I managed to get over it and was not looking for anyone to date my plan was to get over all this. I met this guy two months after the last cheater and we just became friends. I explained to him everything that I had been through. Eventually we became closer and now he is my boyfriend and I love him with all my heart. He is amazing. I am away from him right now because I am in university, and my problem is that I am so scared he is going to do the same thing the other guys did to me. I am letting this ruin us... he is of course very understanding but I know eventually if I continue to worry and constantly ask him if he is going to cheat on me I am going to lose him and I really want to keep him. He has not given me any reason to think he is cheating but in my mind I feel so scared that he will. How do I let go of those feelings so that I don't ruin this relationship? Please help me

Don't make YOUR issues HIS issues. I understand you have been hurt, but hounding the guy will drive him away. Maybe you shouldn't have gotten into another relationship until you got rid of your baggage. Unless he gives you a reason, try to keep yourself in check... he will leave if you don't.

This is what I'm asking for the help with... how do I stop this worrying so that I don't drive him away.

I think you are going to have to trust him until you have a REAL reason to not. You are going to push him away with constant paranoia of cheating.

I know I don't want to worry like this... my problem is that I don't know how to let go of the bad stuff that happened to me. Its hard

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Originally Posted by honey_bee21

i know i dont want to worry like this.....my problem is that i dont know how to let go of the bad stuff that happened to me. its hard

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Try thinking more positive about yourself, 'why would this guy want to cheat on a beautiful intelligent woman like myself?' and then think 'well heck even if he did, it goes to show what an ****** he really is, and how I'm better off without him, HIS LOSS! '

But seriously lol have faith in yourself, the more confident you are the more your relationship will be too, he sounds like a nice guy and there are nice guys out there who don't do the dirty :)