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-   -   Embrassing. First time sex (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=148372)

  • Nov 4, 2007, 08:05 AM
    chloeculture
    Embrassing. First time sex
    Me and my boyfriend have tried a few times, and he really just won't fit. I've tried using my hand to guide him in but nothing. It's really frustrating and humiliating. Anything I can do?
  • Nov 4, 2007, 08:23 AM
    MOWERMAN2468
    How old are you? Are you physically and emotionally ready for this step in your relationship? I don't think that you can honestly answer these questions with a yes. Don't get pressured into a situation that you are going to live to regret. It is your body and you have every right to not participate in intercourse, or any other sexual conduct you do not wish to partake. Don't rush things. All boys will tell you things that will make you THINK that you are their everything and all that most of them is trying to accomplish is getting you to have sex with them. Think the situation through and remember that the only 100 % safe sex practice is abstinence. Condoms and birth control has failed to do their jobs before you know.
  • Nov 4, 2007, 08:28 AM
    chloeculture
    I'm 16, we've been together for 5months, and I want to. We talked about it for a while before so we're both agreed. It's just not working for us though.
  • Nov 4, 2007, 09:49 AM
    J_9
    If you are ready for sex, you are ready to be a mother. PERIOD. Sex with or without protection can, and does, equal parenthood.

    You should understand the dangers to you and baby at such a tender age.
  • Nov 4, 2007, 10:54 AM
    chloeculture
    Finally someone that won't give me the sex talk
    Thanks.
  • Nov 4, 2007, 11:00 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Keatts16
    TO THE PEOPLE WHO REPLIED TO THIS: Do not assume that her young age makes her not ready to take this step.

    No one should be engaging in sexual intercourse unless they are emotionally and financially ready to have a child!

    It doesn't matter whether the person is 16 or 60. Its just that its more unlikely that that a 16 yr old doesn't meet that criteria. And encouraging a minor to engage in sexual intercourse is not only wrong, but might even be considered illegal.

    There are other ways for a couple to be intimate and give each other pleasure without resorting to intercourse.
  • Nov 4, 2007, 11:26 AM
    chloeculture
    Now seriously, you have to be 16 to have sex. I'm in a loving relasionship, and we're being careful.
    I wasn't asking to be told what I already knew, I just want some help on finding out why it won't work for us.
  • Nov 4, 2007, 11:38 AM
    ScottGem
    Seriously, there is nowhere where you HAVE to be a certain age to have sexual relations. There are several places where there is a legal age of consent. Being over the age of consent (which is 16 in many places) just means that a statutory rape charge can't be imposed.

    I'm glad you are in a loving relationship, but I believe there are safer ways to express that love then having sexual intercourse if you are not prepared to have a child. I don't care how careful you think you are being, no method of contraception is 100%.

    So my advice stands.
  • Nov 4, 2007, 12:38 PM
    HollyAnngel
    The reason it is probably not working for you is because your body is not maturely developed yet. You will have to force it if you really think you are ready. And let me tell you if u are a tiny girl like me, it hurts like hell the first few times and you have to tell him to be careful because you could get hurt in the process... 5 months is not very long. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years... We had sex at 6 months and I didn't regret it until about a year after just because we had been fighting and I realized how much 2 people do change after they take there relationship to the next level. We acted like we had been married for years... Anyways we are good now but I go to the dr. Monday to see if I am pregnant... That means no school for me for probably another year and he will be working full time... Anywayz sorry I rambled...
  • Nov 9, 2007, 11:57 PM
    Diandra__Magdalene
    she came for advice not a damn lecture!
    It doesn't matter if you think she's ready.
    It about if she thinks she's ready.
  • Nov 10, 2007, 01:06 AM
    michealb
    Some times the advice that someone needs isn't always the advice they ask for.
  • Nov 13, 2007, 07:01 AM
    Letsgetitmovin
    Comment on Diandra__Magdalene's post
    Exactly.
  • Nov 16, 2007, 03:03 PM
    BumbleCoy
    Same thing happened to me a few years ago and thank god that it actually didn't go in, because we ended breaking up and until this day every time I think about him it disgust me. Now I have a boyfriend whom never rushed me into things and are sexually active because I knew I was ready and wanted to do it too, and it slipped right through. I bleed a lot but it was worth it because I didn't feel pressure and it was my will to do it. I don't regret it, I think that if your ready, then try and it will happen even if your really tight.

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