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-   -   Is he cheating? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=147479)

  • Nov 1, 2007, 01:12 PM
    Golezwa
    Is he cheating?
    I think I'm starting to get obsessed in finding a way to get my husband's phone so I can go through his mails. I know is not right to get into his personal stuff but I can't resist the urge anymore. At night he keeps it under the pillow or bed, stays in his pocket all the time whenever he is in the house. He even goes to the toilet with it. I asked him if he is cheating but said no. I know he loves me and I believe when he says it, I just can't shake the feeling that he is cheating. A couple of months back he was chatting to a girl on a pornographic site who was texting him 24/7 and sending him pictures of her naked. I saw those in the computer. I try so hard to please him in the bedroom but sometimes he says is not enough. According to him I'm not supposed to say no, or we should have sex everyday.
  • Nov 1, 2007, 01:42 PM
    Synnen
    Oh lord.

    You're not enough?

    Get rid of the jerk--whether he's cheating or not, he should be willing to work with you for compromise in your sex life, not complaining that you're not enough.
  • Nov 1, 2007, 01:47 PM
    PoliticallyCorrect
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Golezwa
    I think I'm starting to get obsessed in finding a way to get my husband's phone.

    You can get it while he is in the shower but he may delete the texts after he has read them. Better just to get hold of the phone bill and look at the numbers. Log any that seem suspicious (frequently called, especially outside business hours) and check up on them by calling or Googling the numbers.

    99% of the time suspicions are justified so don't do it unless you are prepared to follow through.
  • Nov 1, 2007, 03:10 PM
    donf
    Dear lady,

    I honestly think some guys are running around brain dead!

    Stop wasting time and worry on what your husband is doing when he's not with you. You cannot control his behavior when he's with you or not. Concentrate on your own behavior and don't for a minute believe you are his sex toy!

    If you keep looking for infidelity on his part, you may actually find it and then what would you do? My suggestion is start now enforcing what is acceptable behavior and what is not. The next time he demands sex every day, toss a frozen eye-round at him and tell him to enjoy himself!

    You are much more than a life support system for a vagina and it's subsystems. You are a woman. You have likes and dislikes. If he has mood swings, show him some of the female gender's mood swings.

    Ask your husband exactly why he believes that your only function is to make him happy.

    Women, in particular my wife, since that's the only lady I know. Appear to really like be considered first and drawn into the romance of the sex. I know that's the way my lady likes her evening to go. Personally I like chasing my gal, it keeps the spice in our romantic world flowing.

    The thought of giving her an order to strip down and take care of my whims is ludacris. I don't mind working a little to think of her and treat her as she expects to be treated. She's not a piece of meat! This lady is my best friend, my playmate (not sex I really mean play) she supported me through the years of work before I retired. She's buried three sons because of miscarriages and survived my total ineptitude at helping her. She's literally nursed me back from death's door when I was recovering from a pulmonary embolism. In the middle of winter, she found a way to make me walk every day as the doctor ordered when I didn't think I could get out of bed.

    If there was a way to canonize my wife I would. I would not ever want to hurt her and cause her any more misery than she has already been through.
  • Mar 20, 2008, 12:29 AM
    Emmasmommy
    I once dated a guy who acted like he was in the Secret Service with regard to his cell phone. This is a BIG RED FLAG!! It is not normal. Beyond that, I would say your husband seems controlling and generally toxic.

    Do what is best for you!
  • Mar 20, 2008, 04:58 AM
    the1unv
    Good advise has already been given to you so I will just add something. I don't like the whole "snooping" thing. I do understand though. I just thought I would remind you most cell phone companies have accounts on the computer. I have 5 cell phones with verizon and I can log into "my account" any time I want and see all the numbers any of my phones have called. Just an option.
    Mike
  • Mar 20, 2008, 05:12 AM
    Synnen
    Folks, the OP hasn't been back to the site since she posted in November.

    Please watch the dates when posting.

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