Been married for a month and my sex life is slipping away
I have been married for a month now and have been with my husband for two years and lived together the whole time. I'm 27 and he's 26. Our entire before marriage sexual relationship was extremely active. We couldn't keep our hands off each other and had sex every single day and sometimes two or three times a day. My husband has always complimented me numerous times a day and always made me feel special in every way.
He started looking at porn on the internet a little over a year after we'd been together. This didn't bother me because he was honest about it and did not try to hide anything from me. ( He is the most honest person I've ever met) I would occasionally look at it with him too, I don't see anything wrong with porn. Here lately however, he has been looking at a lot more porn than usual and then comes to bed and goes to sleep. Thus leaving me feeling very unattractive and unwanted.
(My previous husband was addicted to porn & tried to hide it & had sex with me twice a month at the most.) I know my husband loves me and I know he does not want anyone else and I certainly do not either. He brags to everyone what a perfect and beautiful wife he has all the time. He made a huge life change to be with me and my kids and he loves them like they were his own.
We went through some financial problems and had to move in with my parents for two months, so our sex life slowed down a lot due to that, which was fine. ( We live by ourselves now. ) My husband is on medication for depression and sometimes he goes through a deep depression spell that causes our sex life to come to a hault also. I know that isn't his fault either so that is okay too.
He had been taking percocet for back pain recently, and became addicted to it. He didn't know it until he didn't have anymore pills and he started having stomach problems, irritability & leg pain. We talked about his problem and he decided to consult his aunt who had a drug problem quite some time ago. We had already talked about his lack of sexual desire and he asked his aunt if it came along with the side effects. She said it did and that most effects would go away within a week. So far it seems like they have, except for the sexual side effects. We've had sex since then but it just isn't like before. It kind of seems like he's not over it but he knows I've been feeling uncomplete so he's doing it anyway and it's just to the point and over. We've always enjoyed foreplay and have talked about how important it is and how most people just do the same thing over and over and get bored with sex, and we weren't like that. When we got married he would come home from work everyday saying that everyone at work said that now that we were married I was going to stop giving him sex and that he told them they were wrong. However, he's the one that has been backing away from sex. I enjoy giving him foreplay and I try to do it often to make sure I'm pleasing him. He on the other hand, hasn't been giving me foreplay in return. I'm not sure why. I have tried wearing loose shorts and laying across the bed so when he came in the room he would be able to see right up them ( he always enjoyed that) hoping it would arouse him and direct his attention to there, but at the most I've gotten a grab on the or a 'that looks nice' or a kiss on the cheek and then him go about his business. I don't know what the problem is, but it is driving me crazy. I have always enjoyed sex and haven't ever had bad sex with him. If I wasn't as attractive to him as before , trust me he would tell me, we tell each other everything whether it may hurt the other ones feelings or not. If something is bothering one of us then no matter how insignificant, it is a problem that we got to fix.
I know he's had all these medical problems going on and he says that is the problem but I just can't help thinking it may be something else. What am I doing wrong or what do I need to do??
Our marriage is not based on sex by any means, it has just always been a very active part in our relationship and I don't want to lose that. We are very creative with it and we have a lot of fun with it. I will love him just the same either way , I just need to understand. Help please?