Ask Me Help Desk - Ex-wife problems

Ex-wife problems

My boy-friend has been divorced for 2 years now. He has a 11 year old in that marriage. His daughter doesn't get along with her mother. IS she of age to where she can tell the judge she wants to live with her dad? She tells me that she knows her mom loves her, but she doesn't feel like she likes her. She doesn't feel like her mom cares about her feelings at all. Her mom would rather her get her room cleaned everyday other than getting good grades in school. If her mom feels like she has been hard on her then she'll take her out a buy her whatever she wants then the next day go back to the same old thing. Her moms priority is backwards. Her dad doesn't want her to have a boy-friend, but her mom lets her and lets them hangout and tells her that if she tells her dad that you are hanging out with him then I'll blame it all on you to where you'r dad will get mad at you and you'll get grounded. What do we do with the ex?

I would suggest either approaching the mother about the child moving in with dad or hiring an attorney and seeking a custody modification.

We have her every other day and every other weekend. My boy-friend is afraid if he takes her to court that it might not go the way he wants it to.

Quote:

Originally Posted by famlee

I would suggest either approaching the mother about the child moving in with dad or hiring an attorney and seeking a custody modification.

No minor has the right to choose where they want to live. That decision will be made by a judge based on the best interests of the child. While the child's wishes will be listened to, the judge makes the decision.

I agree with Scott. Judges have the final say. For as crazy as Judges rulings are sometimes I can't see any Judge saying that just because the little girl doesn't like what her mom asks her to do she can live with the other parent. If that was the case the docket would be full of kids wanting to go to the others parents home cause they got grounded.

From what you say your BF and his ex share custody 50/50. I don't see how it would be helpful to anyone to drag this into court over a couple of days a week. The mother would still be able to see the child for visitation so your only taking about a couple of weekdays.

Maybe if the child is failing all her classes and she had activities and mom pulled her out of them because she didn't do her chores at home you might have a chance. If that's the case there would be other things too. But again it's a long shot and not something I would go back to court over right now.

Her MOther doesn't care about her school work. She doesn't help her with her homeowrk when she needs it. She makes her clean her room before homework. Its just a terrible situation. I guess you just have to see first hand.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cjonline

I agree with Scott. Judges have the final say. For as crazy as Judges rulings are sometimes I can't see any Judge saying that just because the little girl doesn't like what her mom asks her to do she can live with the other parent. If that was the case the docket would be full of kids wanting to go to the others parents home cause they got grounded.

From what you say your BF and his ex share custody 50/50. I don't see how it would be helpful to anyone to drag this into court over a couple of days a week. The mother would still be able to see the child for visitation so your only taking about a couple of weekdays.

Maybe if the child is failing all her classes and she had activities and mom pulled her out of them due to the fact that she didn't do her chores at home you might have a chance. If thats the case there would be other things too. But again its a long shot and not something I would go back to court over right now.

I guess you do. You aren't say anything but her mother wanting a clean room before she does homework. Not to down play the situation but if she has to clean it that often then it can't really be messy, so your talking about 15 - 30 minutes tops and hour or two for the homework and everything thing is done around dinner time. If there is more you haven't said it so I go on only this and I don't see the big deal. If its just the clean room I wouldn't take it to court. The judge will be angry that you waisted his time and might award you/your boyfriend to pay his ex's attorney fees.