Dealing with rude relatives over the holidays
My fiancée and I are planning a wedding in a year and a half. I don't have any living relatives. I have lots of wonderful friends who always invite me over for the holidays. Before I was with my fiancée, I always had my choice of places to spend the holidays. His family expects us to spend Christmas and Thanksgiving with them this year. They called and told him they expect us there for 3 days on Thanksgiving and 5 days around Christmas. They know I don't have relatives, so they know we won't be going to see my parents. The problem is, his family is horribly rude. Their house is dirty, they swear, fart, burp, and talk about bathroom habits at the dinner table. I have never been around anyone so rude in my life. His mom is very polite, but is unable to get his dad, sister, brother, and brother-in-law to follow her example. I don't want to spend the holidays with these people and neither does he. The thing is, it's the only time his brother from England gets to come home and visit. He feels that if he doesn't show up everyday that his brother is there, he is missing his chance to visit. I'm fine with him going over there, but they expect me to also. I don't mind visiting on Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day or Eve, but I draw the line at spending more than 3 days with these people. My fiancée says he understands how I feel, but I should do it because they will be my in-laws. I realize I will have to spend time with these people, especially if we have children, but I want to celebrate with my friends as I have before. Does anyone have any ideas of how I can politely balance the time between friends and my "wonderful" in laws? Also, I have to follow a strict diet due to medical reasons. His family cooks most of their food contrary to these guidelines. They get so offended if I only eat a salad and a dinner roll or something. I have explained many times that this is due to health issues, not because I don't like their food. His mom told everyone that I was anorexic. I'm soooo not I just can't eat lots of the stuff they make. I have a real medical condition and they just don't get it. They tell me it "won't kill me to eat it one time" and they have repeatedly told my fiancée that they are offended by this. I can't get it through their heads that if I eat these foods one time they will make me feel very sick, which isn't how I want to spend my holidays. I don't ask them to prepare special foods, nor have they ever asked. In fact, they told my fiancée that they were not about to change their menu because I am "picky". I know the food I eat will be an issue again this year. Anyone have any advice? I'm dreading the holidays because of these people.
