Ask Me Help Desk - Lost Dazed and Confused

Lost Dazed and Confused

Hey I really need advice. I right now am with this great guy... but I have to deal with ex wife, he is very selfish and imature. We could have a great financial future. Then I have my ex husband who is never in out oatmeal all about me and making me feel beautiful. We have a kid together and I think there is something worth working out there. I don't want to make a mistake by going back to my ex and losing the new guy, but I don't want to make a mistake and not go back to my ex. Do I go for the selfish and trying or the devoted. My ex also has a felony even though it wasn't what it seems and he got in trouble due to parents he still has to live with it and he can't get away from it until like 2014. I'm scared to go down the wrong path. What do I do?

Although their actions should tell you a lot about their character... the heart wants what the heart wants. Who do you care about more? If you were with one could you completely shut down a relationship with the other? Sometimes we have to make mistakes and learn from them... no regrets!

So If when I cry to my ex and am even thinking about leaving my boyfriend does that mean that I still care about him and want to work on.

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Originally Posted by jennie8057

Hey I really need advice. I right now am with this great guy.... but i have to deal with ex wife, he is very selfish and imature.

Great guy, but selfish and immature? I don't get this. And you call this guy a great one? Or this is something that can be fixed in his behaviour, you think (like everyone nowadays says)?

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Originally Posted by jennie8057

We could have a great financial future.

?? Do you want a man or a bank ?

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Originally Posted by jennie8057

Then I have my ex husband who is never in out oatmeal all about me and making me feel beautiful. we have a kid together and i think there is something worth working out there.

OK, I understand, that for the sake of the kid, you may think to go back to him. But you have to ask yourself, is it worth? Why did you two divorced? You have an opinion about him I guess, right? You tell us.
Next, like the most girls, even you are not different. Girls usually are so easily influenced, they don't even understand. Once the time has gone, they forget why they broke up the first time, and want to prove again. Exactly. Hate me. I don't care. I had a girl like you, OK, not in your position, with kids etc, but she broke up with her ex, because he was not showing any kind of affection toward her, and their relation was dead (but not ended) circa 1 year before we met, and than she broke up with him. After 2 years together (she keept in contact with him during this time and I knew, but I didn't get jealous the first 1.5 years, cause there was no need), she was back to him again. I found out (I was not immature or selfish at all, but I was there for her whenever she needed me) and find out what happened. She was influenced by him, and she thought that maybe he really changed. OK, in the beginning it seems like that, you know, he makes you feel special, different, beautiful, etc, but as time goes by, the girl still keeps in contact with me. Why? Cause the buddy lost his pedestal soon as they got in the relationship again. And why? Because he didn't changed that much at all.

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Originally Posted by jennie8057

I dont want to make a mistake by going back to my ex and loosing the new guy, but i dont want to make a mistake and not go back to my ex. Do i go for the selfish and trying or the devoted.

My opinion? Why take the selfish and why take the ex? Cause in both cases, they are both bad. You are making a choice between 2 bad's. You are not going to change the selfish man, and you should not expect your ex-husband to change. The only worth issue is your kid, that's the point that makes things difficult. Cause if the kid was not born, I would say forget the selfish, and forget the ex, and get a new life. You don't deserve dramas in your life, and both cases are dramas, nothing more. I say to you, let your ex-husband be your friend. Leave the selfish man, and get someone new in your life.

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Originally Posted by jennie8057

My ex also has a felony even though it wasnt what it seems and he got in trouble due to parents he still has to live with it and he can't get away from it until like 2014. im scared to go down the wrong path. What do i do?

What I'm hearing today... weird weird weird things. Not the first path, not the second path, but the third path, it will be the best for you! At least you are not trying with the selfish, and you are not going to have another drama with your ex. End

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Originally Posted by jennie8057

So If when i cry to my ex and am even thinking about leaving my boyfriend does that mean that i still care about him and want to work on.

No it just means you're confused. You still have feelings for your ex. How long ago did y'all break up? If y'all were together a long time, it's hard 2 just let those feelings go.