Ask Me Help Desk - Why can't I forgive her?

So this a question about my MIL, my husband and I just found out we are expecting our first baby together. We both have daughters from previous marriages, his lasted 1 year mine only three months. His daughter is 12 mine is 8. So this whole baby thing is like brandnew for us all over. But there are some issues. My MIL! We have not told her, or anyone on her side of the family. My husband wants to wait till we are further along, but I personally rather NEVER tell his mother. She was my ideal when I first met her but as soon as the ring was slipped on my finger myself and my daughter were no longer welcomed. She showed up at our wedding and insulted me for wearing white, told everyone I was a whore and that she had to get drunk to watch her son make the biggest mistake of his life. Since then she never acknowledges me or my daughter, she won't even call to wish her happy birthday, but on the other hand she throws huge parties for my husbands daughter and tricks my husband into driving over without me and my daughter with the party all ready in full swing! She is rude to me ask inappropriate questions about my job, and always says she wants to make sure her son isn't paying for all of mine and my daughters needs. ( We have been together since my daughter was 11 months, he's her dad, he gave her his last name) I can't even bare the thought of my MIL knowing I'm pregnant. Trying to touch my growing belli, or baby. It has become such a stress, I have tried talking to her but even after the fact things just don't change. I love my daughter she is my world and it hurts to know that my daughter will be treated like an outsider meanwhile this baby will not. I want to protect both of my children, what should I do?? Please share with me your thoughts there is so much more to the story!! :confused:

Quote:

Originally Posted by mamabee

So this a question about my MIL, my husband and I just found out we are expecting our first baby together. We both have daughters from previous marriages, his lasted 1 year mine only three months. His daughter is 12 mine is 8. So this whole baby thing is like brandnew for us all over. But there are some issues. My MIL! We have not told her, or anyone on her side of the family. My husband wants to wait till we are further along, but I personally rather NEVER tell his mother. She was my ideal when I first met her but as soon as the ring was slipped on my finger myself and my daughter were no longer welcomed. She showed up at our wedding and insulted me for wearing white, told everyone I was a whore and that she had to get drunk to watch her son make the biggest mistake of his life. Since then she never acknowledges me or my daughter, she wont even call to wish her happy birthday, but on the other hand she throws huge parties for my husbands daughter and tricks my husband into driving over without me and my daughter with the party all ready in full swing! She is rude to me ask inappropriate questions about my job, and always says she wants to make sure her son isn't paying for all of mine and my daughters needs. ( We have been together since my daughter was 11 months, he's her dad, he gave her his last name) I can't even bare the thought of my MIL knowing I'm pregnant. Trying to touch my growing belli, or baby. It has become such a stress, I have tried talking to her but even after the fact things just don't change. I love my daughter she is my world and it hurts to know that my daughter will be treated like an outsider meanwhile this baby will not. I want to protect both of my children, what should I do??? Please share with me your thoughts there is so much more to the story!!!!:confused:

Hey I feel you have been so stronge on this issue believe me your mother inlaw is selfish putting her hate at you for you have done nothing. She need to grow up and think what she doing it sure hurting you and it driving her son in the middle it not right of a mother to do to there child even how old.
But her feeling could be because she feel her son being pulled away from her.it her jealous
Lyy jenny
And I help it get better for you sound like a get along perosn x

Your husband has to have a set down with his mother. His mother should know that if she is not willing to accept you and treat you with respect he doesn't want her in his life. Yes, it sounds harsh but calling my wife whore. I'm not saying you should be best friends with mother-in-law but she has to respect you. This type of situation ruin marriages.

You can not forgive someone while that person keeps wronging you. I'm my mother's son but I'm my wife's husband first. This is the way its suppose to be.