Ask Me Help Desk - Am I wrong?

My relationship wit my boyfriend has been great but most of the times we argue. For stupid stuff We are going on two years and from the beginning I have told him I can be a jealous girl.. well I don't know but I get so jealous when he's wit his friends or I get mad when he's on his phone messaging people because I fear that if he ever cheats on me I trust him but come on you no u can never to trust someone 100% he tells me he loves me and he would never do such a thing but why do I always think negative sometimes he thinks I'm young minded and I'm not I just can't control my anger I love him so much we been threw everything we always talk about our future and he tells me he can't wait to marry me were even engaged he never really gave me a reason not 2 trust him but I don't understand where all this jealously comes from I tend to let the jealously take the best of me and I end up stressing things am I emotionally stress? Or what? :(

What do you think of yourself? Do you see lot's of your friends cheating? Have you ever cheated? Do you think most people cheat?

Most of us trust other's and don't dwell on the thought of being betrayed. Most of us use caution when there's a good reason. A few of us trusted and were betrayed. A few of us will never know we were betrayed and remain trusting of others. We all survive and most of us seek healthy and secure relationships. Most of us will live a long life and in the end our joys and success, sadness and failings will be remembered with a smile and the times of betrayal will have been forgotten.

Trust your boyfriend. If he betrays you then walk away or forgive him. If you betray him the options will be the same. OK? Don't worry so much. Good luck to you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AbBy23

My relationship wit my boyfriend has been great but most of the times we argue. For stupid stuff We are going on two years and from the beginning I have told him i can be a jealous girl..well I don't no but i get so jealous when hes wit his friends or I get mad when hes on his phone messaging people because I fear that if he ever cheats on me I trust him but come on u no u can never to trust some1 100% he tells me he loves me and he would never do such a thing but why do I always think negative sumtimes he thinks I'm young minded and I'm not I just can't controll my anger I love him so much we been threw everything we always talk about our future and he tells me he can't wait to marry me were even engaged he never really gave me a reason not 2 trust him but I don't understand where all this jealously comes from I tend to let the jealously take the best of me and I end up stressing things am I emotionally stress ?? Or what? :(

Yes you stressed out but look at it like this 2 year is a very long time and you have built a lot together but you can get like that all the time but I'm pretty sure you love him and he loves you but look I had learn the hard way at the end of the day or night he's coming back to you so girl don't even trip because you the one that got him

Thank you so much but yes I always been around people or couples that have had a bad relationship I'm afraid of getting hurt like my last relationship was the worst I'm just afraid of it repeating it self and mayb I'm just scared that this relationship is too good to be true. Sometimes my boyfriend tells me I should talk 2 someone to figure out where all this comes from.. Who isn't scared of betrayal it's the worst and burns the heart.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AbBy23

My relationship wit my boyfriend has been great but most of the times we argue. For stupid stuff We are going on two years and from the beginning I have told him i can be a jealous girl..well I don't no but i get so jealous when hes wit his friends or I get mad when hes on his phone messaging people because I fear that if he ever cheats on me I trust him but come on u no u can never to trust some1 100% he tells me he loves me and he would never do such a thing but why do I always think negative sumtimes he thinks I'm young minded and I'm not I just can't controll my anger I love him so much we been threw everything we always talk about our future and he tells me he can't wait to marry me were even engaged he never really gave me a reason not 2 trust him but I don't understand where all this jealously comes from I tend to let the jealously take the best of me and I end up stressing things am I emotionally stress ?? Or what? :(

READ AT MY QUOTE HERE BELOW.

Please stop being so jealous if you really want to be with this man. You will drive him away. I have been married for 5 years and we fight all the time. And it is usually me cause I am also jealous and paranoid. My first boyfriend did me wrong so, I always thought he would. He's never cheated and said that he never will. You have to trust him. If you keep this up he may do it or leave you. Guys don't like to be told what to do. I always get mad when he goes out with his friends. I usually fight with him until it's time for him to go. But, then on some days when he goes out I keep my cool and everything is fine. He comes home at a decent time. I notice that if I may a big deal about it, he won't come home early. I just blow things out of proportion. If he never gave you a reason not to trust him, then stop before he leaves you. I almost lost my husband over stupid things.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AbBy23

My relationship wit my boyfriend has been great but most of the times we argue.

Okay, first of all, please know that I'm not being mean here, I am really trying to help. How can your relationship be 'great' if 'most of the time' you argue?? It doesn't even sound like you have a mediochre relationship. Perhaps you are trying to convince yourself that the relationship is great but deep down you know it's not and that is why you are so jealous and untrusting?

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Originally Posted by AbBy23

u can never to trust some1 100%

Yes you can. When you love someone who is worthy of your love, you can and DO trust them 100%

Quote:

Originally Posted by AbBy23

sumtimes he thinks I'm young minded and I'm not I just can't controll my anger

Sweetie, honestly, if you say that you can't control your anger then you are young minded. Nobody controls our emotions except ourselves. Nobody MAKES you mad. It is a choice that you make to deal with a situation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AbBy23

I love him so much

I'm sorry, hon, but I have a lot of years on you, and I'm telling you that when you love, you trust. I think you have a lot of growing up to do yet, and probably should think about dating other people and get more experience in relationships before making a decision to marry anyone. You also need to learn to take responsibility for your own emotions and reactions, and practice more mature, grown up ones.

I think, in time, you will learn what it is really like to be in a mutually loving relationship, but right now you are only about 3/4 of the way there.

Hugs, Didi

You need to love yourself first, and that is an honest-to-goodness, researched fact. I've been in relationships where the guy would never dream about cheating on me, but I still think he would. I learned the hard way that it was because I was so insecure and didn't love myself. If you are happy with yourself, than you'll know he'll never want anything else.