Ask Me Help Desk - Is pregancy is horrible?I am wondering!

I am single now, no boyfriend! But I love babies cause they are so cute! I want to have a baby, but I found it seems pregnancy is a little horrible, hurt……, I feel scared for that! But I am a Chinese, very traditional, once I get married, I must to have a baby! What should I do? How to get rid of that scared feeling? How?:confused:

Pregnancy does not hurt! You will feel tired. You may feel a little sick. That is nature taking care of the baby. Your husband will take care of you and you take care of the little one.

You sound very young. When you are ready to have a baby you will feel only joy.

Jasmine,
Pregnancy is a natural process and all women do not go through it the same way.

For instance I had nausea a lot during the first three months,but my sister-in-law had none throughout her pregnancy.
Me and one sister-in-law put on a lot of weight during our pregnancy but the eldest sis-in-law stayed thin except for the tummy.
All of us gave birth at the hospital and without having surgery.

During my pregnancy I used to keep thinking that what if the contractions during birth became too much to bear,but the pain was tolerable for me and if not there is always medical assistance available in this day and age.

Don't worry too much, when the time comes you will realise it is not as bad as it seems.
Try to stay as healthy as you can possibly be and this helps a lot before,during and after pregnancy too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jasmine_rezzag

I am single now, no bf! But I love babies cause they are so cute! I want to have a baby, but I found it seems pregnancy is a little horrible, hurt……, I feel scared for that! but I am a Chinese, very traditional, once I get married, I must to have a baby! What should I do? How to get rid of that scared feeling? How?:confused:

While pregnancy can hurt. Its going to hurt, but you don't think about it. You just have the thought of your baby growing inside of you, and how you can't wait for it to come

I am 24, not that young! In china, a 24 years old woman without boyfriend is very strange to many people!
Many of my best friends get married or are planning to get married at the end of this year or next year! I get nervous cause I am still single, but I do like babi! But when I was in junior high school, my teacher told me pregnancy and sex is horrible, you may get hurt from that! Her lesion scared me until now! Always makes me feel nervous as long as I think about that! That is really bad!

Please stop being frightened. I don't know why your teacher said that but think about it? Nature designed us to have sex and then babies.

If it was bad we would not do it. So it can't be bad can it? Actually, not only is it not bad, it is the best!

So go and find someone you can love and who will love you in return and take care of you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jasmine_rezzag

I But I love babies cause they are so cute!

Babies are cute is NOT a reason to have a baby married or not. Are you prepared to suffer through endless nights and days of no sleep? Can you afford diapers, immunizations, formula, hospital stays, sometimes long term, possible mental and physical delays and deformities.

Girl you really have a lot to learn about being a mother. Being a mother has NOTHING to do with loving babies and how cute they are. It's all about commitment. You can't guarantee that your child will be born healthy. What will you do if your baby is not? What if your baby has a mental or physical disability?

Parenthood is not just about loving babies or babies being so cute. It's about being a parent, about being responsible no matter what happens to baby.

Pregnancy for some is a horror, for others it is a dream. There is no way to predict what yours may be like.

Labor, he! Yeah is painful, but there is no real way to prepare for it. You will never experience another pain like it in your life, but you will forget it as soon as baby is born and baby is in your arms and at your breast.

Parenthood lasts a lifetime, through good and bad, infancy only lasts a short time. Yeah, babies are cute, but teenagers can be he!! Remember, babies grow up to be teenagers.

You make me confused and frustrated! And a little sad. I love babi, child, cause they are simple not so complicated like grown-up. If I have a babi, I will try my best to give her/him a happy life! I like to see people live with happiness. Every time I go to marketplace, I can't help having a look something about babies. I don't know how to be a mother, but I know love is more important than other things. Teenagers are not cute like babies, but the point is how you lead them when they were babies!

Get married and pregnant and you won't have any other choice but to face it! Haha I don't think it is that bad actually and besides the prize you get at the end is was better than any pain you may have!

For me pregnancy has been uncomfortable with one surprise after another, but it has all been bearable and I plan on doing it again one day down the road. If you always fear the unknown then you will never take risks. Don't worry about what has not yet happened. Concentrate on one day at a time. When you do become pregnant one day pain is the last thing on your mind. You are so wrapped up in thoughts and dreams of your little one growing inside of you that nothing else matters.

I agree with the others that say pregnancy is not hurtful. There are days where you might experience some discomfort, some growth pains, some nausea but you learn to adjust. To accept that is part of life.

Your teacher no doubt said the things she said so the students would not go out and be sexually active. I had teachers much the same way - to scare the heck out of anyone even thinking about having sex before marriage.

But I cannot say that every pregnancy is without risk. That would be foolish to say. You would need to understand that also. For myself, my two pregnancies, I had placenta previa from the third month until delivery. No, it did not hurt but I knew there was the risk of miscarriage and there was the risk for the baby's health. Both turned out fine, except for my oldest son, who was born with a high bilirubin and spent five days in the nursery's intensive care (NICU).

Quote:

Originally Posted by jasmine_rezzag

I am 24, not that young! In china, a 24 years old woman without bf is very strange to many people!
Many of my best friends get married or are planning to get married at the end of this year or next year! I get nervous cause I am still single, but I do like babi! But when I was in junior high school, my teacher told me pregnancy and sex is horrible, you may get hurt from that! her lesion scared me until now! Always makes me feel nervous as long as I think about that! that is really bad!

Your teacher never should have had a job teaching, what a terrible woman she was to say such a thing!
I assure you sex is the greatest feeling in the world. And being pregnant is the second best feeling in the world... maybe even right there with sex, just in a different way. I threw up only one time my whole pregnancy. In my last 2 months I was miserable from being so big and my labor was long and hard. After I had my son my body was never the same and I decided I'd never have another and I didn't. I guess you think I'm not helping ease your worries? Well let me tell you even with the morning sickness, the occasional heart burn, the labor and the fact that I choose not to have anymore, I wouldn't go back and change a thing. It was so worth it! When you have a baby growing inside you there is this loving connection that you will never feel with another human. You may not understand this now but when you have a child, (even one that is still growing inside you) there is no amount of pain you wouldn't bare for the love of that little bundle of joy who's blood is your own. When all the discomfort and pain is over comes the reward ….that little life that you helped create and it makes it all worth it. Hun I can tell you the hardest part of having kids isn't the labor, it's when they turn into teenagers!:eek: