Recently my boyfriend and I went on a break. He said that he can't trust me anymore. Whenever we try and talk about everything, he flips out and blows things that I say way out of proportion. Just this past weekend we got in a major blowout. I kept telling him to calm down and relax, but he wouldn't listen. I wasn't yelling or anything like that, I was trying to have an actual conversation and try to get things patched up. He told me that he loves me so much and that since we've been on this break he's missed me like crazy and he always thinks about me. I guess what I'm wondering is, if he loves me so much and misses me, why can't we try and patch things up? Why can't we work on this trust issue? I told him I trusted him and then we got in a fight one night and I said that there are days where I question my trust in him... but I haven't not trusted him... if that makes any sense what-so-ever. That's the reason that he says he can't trust me. Shouldn't we be able to work this out if we both still have strong feelings for each other and miss each other like crazy? I have been giving him space during this break too, I haven't called him, texted him or anything. Does he just need time or should I be doing something? Any help would be great! Thanks everyone!

I'd give him his space first. Don't contact him for a couple weeks - seriously. It actually makes the heart go fonder.

Now WHY the no trust? Did you cheat?

How long have you dated?

WHY ALL the serious conversations ALL the time. When you start to try to clarify a relationship - you set it way back - you damage it. Especially IF you KEEP bringing it up.

Hi,
I agree with Wildcat about giving him some space. Don't contact him, don't message him, don't call him, don't communicate with him at all.
Why did you and he take a "break" in the first place?
I am not trying to be "negative", but all relationships don't work out. It's possible that he wants to move on, and this is his way of showing it.
On the "positive" side, give him some time, maybe a month, to see how he feels then. If he wants to continue with you, he will contact you.
There are also things that shouldn't be talked about all the time. Trust is something that is "built-in", and if it isn't there, will result in problems, as you are having.
Give it a chance to work out, not contacting him for awhile. I do hope it all works out OK.

Hey Wildcat-
He doesn't trust me because of that one lie I told him. About me saying that there are days when I questioned whether I trusted him or not. I have never cheated on him, I haven't even thought about cheating on him. He has not cheated on me either. The reason I questioned his trust was because he would go out with his friends to the bars and not tell me... that didn't bother me so much, but on nights when we had plans, he would break them to go to the bar. And we had plans one night and he didn't call or anything and I saw him out with one of his girl friends. We had only dated for almost 4 months. Things moved quickly in the relationship so it felt like we were together for at least a year. We were so comfortable with each other. I guess I want all the serious conversations because we haven't actually talked about going on this break. He just broke it off officially a few days ago. I would just like to know what I did wrong. Especially since the very first day we started dating he was the one who told me that if there was ever a problem, we would talk about it... no matter what. Now he's just being extremley rude to me. He's been treating me like dirt these past few days. I'm trying to move on. I've been talking to new guys and hanging out with my girls more, so that's helping. Thanks for the advice... it was very helpful! I appreciate it!

Sounds like he's not ready for a relationship. No trust could be insecurities or maybe he isn't trustworthy and it makes him feel better to think you're un-trustworthy. Your "lie" isn't the reason for his issues. -good luck-

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Originally Posted by browneyes20

He said that he can't trust me anymore. Whenever we try and talk about everything, he flips out and blows things that I say way out of proportion. Just this past weekend we got in a major blowout. I kept telling him to calm down and relax, but he wouldn't listen. I wasn't yelling or anything like that, I was trying to have an actual conversation and try to get things patched up.

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It sounds as if this guy is emotionally abusive. Unfortunately all the classic signs are present, based on what you've indicated in your post. I feel that you deserve better than this. Click your heels and walk away and don't look back. He has no right to treat you this way and it will only get worse. It may be painful at first but I think that once you've distanced yourself from this relationship and thought things over you'll agree that it was an unhealthy relationship from the start.

The reason he can't trust you is because he's guilty. I guess it is your lot in life to be a victim. He's abusive, and you don't see the warning signs.

The good news is you found out something about this dude you needed to know.Is his abusivness what you want?I doubt if you can change him(women always think they can change a man)take a little time to realize what it is you really want.Find someone who likes to calmly communicate like you do.save the yelling for the pep rally. :o

Hey talaniman,
I agree with your advice. I don't want nor do I need his abusiveness. Thanks so much!

You DON'T want to be with some one who is abusive - VERBAL OR physical, CHEATS, is lazy, totally drinks too much, drugs.