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-   -   Trouble Reaching orgasm (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=145583)

  • Oct 27, 2007, 01:03 PM
    Poetic_Tragedy89
    Trouble Reaching Orgasm
    I am an 18 year old female. I have only had two sexual partners. I have been sexually active since I was 15 years old. I can reach and orgasm through mastrubation, and oral sex, but only when I stimulate my clitoris. However during mastrubation I can only achieve and orgasm when I am stimulated while my legs are together. It won't work if they are apart or in any other position, making it impossible to have an orgasm through clitoral stimulation during intercourse. Also, it doesn't feel good when I, or my boyfriend fingers me. When we have intercourse, It feels sort of good, sometimes it feels very good, but I never can get an orgasm at all. I've tried so much and we both have did everything we could. My boyfriend, nor my ex boyfriend could get me to have an orgasm through intercourse. And sometimes when we have intercourse, a lot of positions cause me some discomfort or very bad pain. It's affecting our relationship because I no longer want to have sex, I feel like it's just a dissapointment for both of us. Please help, this had been a problem in my life for as long as I can remember. Thanks. :)
  • Oct 27, 2007, 04:08 PM
    savedsinner7
    Don't be angry about the way your body works. We are all designed differently and if you have found a way that works, the work with it, not against it.
  • Oct 27, 2007, 06:28 PM
    hollylovesbrandon
    Have you tried all the positions lying down and standing up? Have you tried douching before sex? If he wears a condom have him take it off (might be causing the discomfort--althought only if you're on birth control or some other method) There are ways to have sex with your legs closed, dif. Positions I mean. And you can stimulate your clitirous (sp?) while you're having sex. If there is a lot of discomfort and you cna't find a way to stop it maybe you should see a doctor. Just out of curiosity, how big is his penis? It could be that his penis is simply not big enough to reach your G-spot (every woman's is in a dif. Spot inside of her).
  • Oct 27, 2007, 07:35 PM
    Poetic_Tragedy89
    Well his penis is big enough. And we've tried EVERYTHING. I mean EVERYTHING. Like I'm running out of ideas we're both frusterated. We don't use condoms either. We have tried all the positions we both know of, we even bought books to help us but nothing worked. I feel like there's no hope.
  • Oct 27, 2007, 09:43 PM
    hollylovesbrandon
    To be honest, some women go their whole lives without having an orgasm... I mean, it sucks, but that's just life. If you are really upset about it... talk to your ob/gyn about it. Maybe they will have something to say on the subject... maybe they can tell you why. I mean, this is something important... worth a shot huh?
  • Oct 28, 2007, 01:32 AM
    wackymb
    Hollylovesbrandon is right, some women don't get organsms. I can't imagine it though. My husband can give me one just by rubbing me in certain spots or fingering me. And sometimes I love that more than sex. Crazy huh. Anyway, I would maybe talk to a doctor if it's really bothering you. What about those anal beads? I've never used them But, I heard women love them. Just keep trying. You are young still. I don't remember getting them at age 18. Have y'all tried it in water, like a pool or hot tub? What turns you on? Maybe something your boyfriend is doing, isn't helping you and you don't like it and therefore you get turned off. Like sometimes when my husband is fingering me, he gets to rough or does something I don't like and that turns me off quickly. Be honest with him and tell him what you like or don't like. That will help your sex life out a lot. Good luck!!
  • Oct 28, 2007, 11:30 AM
    hollylovesbrandon
    A lot of the time women that can't orgasm vaginally can have an orgasm anally. I mean, if that's something you guys might be into I'd say try it. I have never not had an orgasm when having sex with my husband. We've been together for 5 years... so needless to say, I'm a happy girl. But anyway, it's not worth losing hope yet!
  • Oct 29, 2007, 12:17 PM
    Poetic_Tragedy89
    Thanks for all your answers, I'm not giving up yet. I think this is something I do want to take up with my gyno.
  • Oct 30, 2007, 04:47 AM
    Kadehadaire
    Try intercourse lying flast on your stomach, legs closed. He can penetrate from behind in a number of ways, leave it up to him. Stimulate yourself from the front (so you are lying on your hands) - this is a quickfire killer position for orgasm because he is not penetrating too deeply, it feels good for him and you are in control of your ow stimulation on top.
  • Oct 30, 2007, 04:48 AM
    Kadehadaire
    Ps - I could not get an orgasm from intercourse for ages, just like you, but once I did, I never had another problem in that area again.

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