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-   -   Slightly Complicated Girl Q - Contact by an ex. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=145394)

  • Oct 26, 2007, 09:01 PM
    excello98
    Slightly Complicated Girl Q - Contact by an ex.
    Ok,

    Met this girl 2 years ago in NY - she was a bit young a lived a fair while away. She really liked me but I decided not to do anything about it (cos of age/distance) - we were just really good friends.

    This year she started at the same college (doing maths/science) as me, we caught up over first semester (dinner, movies etc) and had fun. After she turned 21 we went out drinking and I decided that I should ask her out. I did and she said that she'd had a boyfriend for the past 8 months but that she hadn't told me about him because she still had feelings for me. I was a bit surprised but thought we should stay friends.

    Anyway, we kept going out and ended up kissing quite a few times. I felt pretty bad about it but she got pretty mad at me whenever I tried to call it off. She thought I was 'too uptight' about it, said that she really liked me but couldn't do anything about it just now because her lease had expired and she had to move in with her boyfriend (ie, wouldn't have anywhere to live if they brokeup) but that these arrangements were only temporary.

    So! I gave her the benefit of the doubt for a month or so. Last week - she moved out. I stayed the night, but felt really stupid after. I saw some letters she had written to her boyfriend which were all like, "I really want to be with you, miss you so much xxx" so I called her and told her that it was off. She got upset and said she was going to break up with her boyfriend.

    THEN, I find out that she didn't break up with him, she just wasn't going to talk to him for 2 weeks. THEN, she doesn't talk to me for 4 days, so I call and ask if she's made a decision and she says, 'yes' and hangs up. So I figure it's over and she tells me the same thing the next day.

    I feel pretty used because it seems like she never really cared that much for me anyway. She's going back to live with her parents next year so it's likely I won't see her again. But she sent me a message yesterday asking how I was. This was after 4 days of No Contact.

    Do I reply, or just let it go. I'm a bit tired of this whole thing really.
  • Oct 26, 2007, 09:57 PM
    LettuceBFrank
    Short and sweet... LET IT GO!

    Just the recap left me tired!

    While you're letting it go, don't forget to remind yourself that you deserve better!
  • Oct 30, 2007, 01:23 AM
    excello98
    Ok, well I let it go, and she messaged me a fairly sarcastic reply afterward - something like, "oh awesome. great to hear from you. haha"

    I thought this was a little odd. Anyway - I was at the college library the other day and she came up and said hi. It was a bit awkward but we both went our separate ways after about 10 seconds of 'how are you?' 'good'. 'ok, cya!'.

    I haven't heard from her since.

    I know this is probably stupid but all I wanted to know is what I should do if she messages again. (Like, advice in advance, haha). I figure I can't just ignore her, I'll just have to send a polite, to the point reply? So if she says, 'good luck for exams?' should I ignore it or just say 'thanks'?

    Haha I know these are really dumb questions... :s. I really liked her though. It's sad that what we had didn't seem to mean anything!
  • Oct 30, 2007, 06:51 AM
    kuulski
    I would say ignore her. But that my Opinion she is into games and if you give her any attention she will make things allot worse for you.
  • Oct 31, 2007, 08:57 PM
    LettuceBFrank
    I agree with the opinion that she seems to be into games (hopefully a dose of maturity will take care of that)

    Whether you choose to ignore her or keep it short and simple, just make sure to protect yourself and to not give her the impression that you are available for another game of play.

    Balls in your court! Haha!

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