Ask Me Help Desk - Is it really wrong?

I've been dating this girl for almost a year. We met last year when she was a Sophomore in high school and I was a Senior in high school. The age difference between us is about 1 year,and 2 months(I'm 18, she just turned 17 yesterday :) ). Nothing much has changed since I've started college, and no one that I know(yes even her parents) has a problem with me continuing to date her except for my mom. I see no problem with it at all, yet she insists that it is wrong for me to date her since I am now in college. She also claims that anyone she has spoken too about this has also said it is wrong for me to date her. She also says that I could ask anyone and they would say the same thing. So in taking up my mom's challenge, I would like to know if it really is that wrong for me to be dating this girl?

Not in my opinion. What your mom may be worried about is your having sex with her. Depending on the age of consent where she lives, you could be bought up on statutory rape charges since you are no longer a minor and she may be under the age of consent.

But just dating? Nope! Tell mom she is talking to the wrong people or they are telling her what SHE wants to hear.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Not in my opinion. What your mom may be worried about is your having sex with her. Depending on the age of consent where she lives, you could be bought up on statutory rape charges since you are no longer a minor and she may be under the age of consent.

But just dating? Nope! Tell mom she is talking to the wrong people or they are telling her what SHE wants to hear.

We're not going that far anytime soon Mr. Gem. And I think the bolded one is the case, or she's BSing me as she is quite the drama queen...

Id say no... but I understand, as a parent, where she's coming from. When your son or daughter go to school you want them to focus on where they are... and having a girlfriend or boyfriend away can be a distraction. It just the truth. Sometimes the relationship gets to be so important that you miss out on other things, like getting to know other people. College is one of the best times in your life to "try out" relationship and start to know who you are and where you are.

I dated my HS sweetheart all through 4 years of college. I don't regret it. In some ways it made things easier... I wasn't always worrying about who to date and all that noise. So in some ways it gave stability. On the other hand I spent a lot of time away from school and missed out on some relationships that I think would have been worth the time.

My best friend in college dated his HS sweetheart when he went to school. She was one year younger. They are now married, with three kids. Happily ever after. My relationship ended after college. Crash and burn. Two very different endings.

BUT... dating at your age is NOT about finding the person to spend the rest of your life with. Like it or not, most people have a first love, and a second, repeat... and everyone always thinks one of their first loves is The One... if only the rest of us mortals could understand...

Well... we do. Been there. Done that.

It isn't wrong for you to date her... its just awkward in some ways...

So the key thing is this... you don't have to obey your mothers wishes to respect her. Agreement and respect are not the same thing. But you should allow her to voice her opinion, within reason, and not try to push her to change her mind. She's entitled to her opinion, and, again, I can see her angle, even if I don't agree.

The reality is this... even if you get some noise about it, as long as you are respectful to each other... or at least you try the best you can to let her have her say even if she can't have her way... it'll all wash away in time.

I say heck no! I am a sophomore in high school and I am going out with a freshman in college. The only one that has a problem is my mom. (gee. Sounds a lot like your problem there lol)

Of Course Not !
You Love Her Right ?
So That's All That Matters... One Year 2 Months Is Hardly An Age Difference !
I Think Your Mum Is Just Being Overprotected Personally And Not Looking Into It Properly !
Don't Dump Your Girlfriend Because Of This Stay With Her = )

Quote:

Originally Posted by BleedingLove_XOX

You Love Her Right ?
So Thats All That Matters

While I agree with the rest of your advice, I have to comment on that portion. First, the OP said nothing about love. Second, at their age, really knowing they are in love is not a guarantee. And third, Love is not all that matters. Its what matters most, but there are a lot of other factors that come into play.

"all you need is love" is the speak of musicians and the naïve.

I'm happily married with a mate I've been with over 10 years...

I've loved other women. It isn't all you need, and it isn't near enough to keep things together. Sorry, not that simple.

As mentioned, it is the bedrock, the foundation, but there are a lot of ways to knock down a house.