So I'm sorry if this is a repeat topic, I searched but I didn't really see anything like my question... I'm a 19 yrold college student who I'm just lost and lonely and I have all these feelings of being a failure... this isn't the first time I've had these feelings... last semester(spring) I did too... it's just becoming a bad repeat. I live alone(my choice) because before I got caught up in all this drama, and I am focused on my studies I always was... but all my profs ask me about grad schools and what I want to do with my life what I want to study... but all I can think about it how happy I will be went I can graduate(forced to stay at university by parents) and I can just move away and get somewhere better. I just feel like such a failure... disappointing my profs with each quiz and test I take, disappointing my parents with my average marks in school. I just want to move away from all of this and just get a job as a waitress where I can just do something every day... it's this stagnant water feeling I'm getting here. And I'm a chem major and it's very isolating... the other chem majors either party-hardy or commute and want to go to grad school... just looking to do enough to graduate and do decently well on tests and I just want to learn things, I used to love learning things... but now... I'm so distracting by the failure issue...

Sorry about the length/ranting

Please let me know if anyone has any tricks with distracting themselves from feelings of failure, it would be greatley appreciated...

I would say at this time in your life, you need variety. A lot more variety than you have now.

You could get a part time job as a waitress at night on the weekends.

Take up a sport; that's mandatory

Take up a hobby.

That will round out your life a lot better and expose you to different kinds of people, not just academic types.

Good Luck!

If you're a bit shy try some online games where you can talk to people such as Habbo, Runescape , World of Warcraft they'll give you some people to talk to but you don't need to be totally true about yourself.

Well, firstly you reflect on what you have done that you think is a failure then right on a piece of paper what you would like to achieve then seal in an envelope for an year and then you open it and tick off what you have done right...

Plus, to distract you from feeling a failure, you can always complete a long term activity such as stamp collecting which can vring you money as well.or, you can try and so activities that you're good at thus if you don't have any,try using that time to discover new strengths.

But the main problen is that you keep on thinking you're a failure and then hiding from it won't work. I might not know how you had this sort of attitude or where it came from but no one is a failure. If you want to complete somtheing so much, motivation should take you through.don't let other people's pressures take you down as it should make you have more motivation to strive up and learn from you're mistakes.if that doesn't help,maybe you can tell me you're problem and I can try to help!

Remember life is there to be lived!

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Originally Posted by ihave1question

So I'm sorry if this is a repeat topic, I searched but I didn't really see anything like my question.... I'm a 19 yrold college student who I'm just lost and lonely and I have all these feelings of being a failure...this isn't the first time I've had these feelings...last semester(spring) I did too...it's just becoming a bad repeat. I live alone(my choice) because before I got caught up in all this drama, and I am focused on my studies I always was...but all my profs ask me about grad schools and what I want to do with my life what I want to study...but all I can think about it how happy I will be whent I can graduate(forced to stay at university by parents) and I can just move away and get somewhere better. I just feel like such a failure...disappointing my profs with each quiz and test I take, disappointing my parents with my average marks in school. I just want to move away from all of this and just get a job as a waitress where I can just do something every day...it's this stagnant water feeling i'm getting here. and i'm a chem major and it's very isolating...the other chem majors either party-hardy or commute and want to go to grad school...just looking to do enough to graduate and do decently well on tests and i just want to learn things, i used to love learning things...but now...i'm so distracting by the failure issue....

sorry about the length/ranting

please let me know if anyone has any tricks with distracting themselves from feelings of failure, it would be greatley appreciated....

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I believe that life`s what you make of it, even when life can be hard and confusing sometimes.. Find your own way, and be proud of who YOU are. You don`t live to please your teachers or parents, you got to do the things to make YOURSELF happy. Don`t let family pressure you into doing things that you don`t want to do. Don`t try to live up to everyone else`s expectations, and don`t set too high career goals in life. Life`s more than how much money you`re making. Think the problem here is your parents pressuring you? Maybe you should have a serious conversation with them and tell them exactly how you feel...

Well, as far as the answer to your question, to get rid of these "I am a faliure"-thoughts, you need to see what the problem is, and do something about it. Maybe you should take a year off, move away and work as a waitress like you said? So you could find out what you really want in life, because it don`t seem like you`ve chosen the direction that`s right for you..

Good luck, and you`re NOT a faliure!

I know where you come from about the feeling of failure and being lonely. I always try to make others feel better when I put them in my shoes. I'm a college student as well. 21, I'm in my 4th year but it's not my final year as I'd hoped. I'm a young mother... had a child when I was a 17, a senior in high school. I rarely have time to study but I'll either wake up really early or go to sleep really late to catch up on things. I always feel alone because I meet people at school and they invite me places. Sure any other 21 year old would be able to do these things but I'm a mother so it's not for me, by choice. But in all, I feel lonely and held back. I just want you to understand that being young and in college is so hard. Everyone has these feelings of failure ESPECIALLY in college. I feel like a failure because I have a child and all my friends from high school went away to experience the actual college life and they are also so close to graduating. Me on the other hand I still have another couple years. Open your eyes to many opportunities around you. Join an intermural sport in the recreational facilities of your school or some organization. Just work as hard as you can on your school work, use your free time to walk around campus and take in some air. Or go to the gym and work out, even the book store. When you rest your brain and breathe it's easier to go about your day. Always look at the long run when you graduate and have a degree... even if you choose not to go to grad school, employers still love to see a degree on an application... where ever you go. Get your degree because if you stop now you'll have regrets and definitely feel like a failure. Don't think of yourself as a failure at all because you are there, you are working at it. Stick to it. And just remember when things start to get hard... think of me. I'm don't want to feel like a failure and that's why I'm continuing my education with a child along side. Even if it's so hard at time that I want to give up. I look at the future and say no way... I have to do good for myself and for my child. I just want you to see a different "type" of college student's perspective. I hope this helps. Feel free to talk to me about anything you like.

I wish I had taken a break after high school, but I was a top student and was expected to go to college, which I did. I didn't go to grad school until I was 43, after teaching, having two kids, raising them, and beginning a library career.

You're burned out. Finish your degree and get a job. Make some money. Have some fun. Grad school will always be there.

I sure would do things differently if I could live my life again.

Yer, I suggest that you, a: take a hobby, as said before, or b: get a friend that has same interests, and have them help you with studies, and when you think about being a failure, have them say... slap you? Or something to bring you back from the brink (or the drink)...

I agree with cissy and whatslove gotto do with it.
Another thing you can do is don't apologize so much when you have something to say.
Have more confidence that what you have to say, feel and contribute is just as good as the next persons.

Although I am 69 I feel great empathy with you.
Although I could do well at school I have often felt tension between myself and others. Whether that was tension between myself and other students or myself and teacher/ tutors.
What peace I gave found is in the area of treasuring what connection I have with others and a greater acceptance of myself as an individual who does not need the approval or even connection with others.
As a human being I do need connection and a degree of approval from others.
But what I have is... enough. Sometimes not quite as much as I yearn for but enough for now. Treasure what and who you are.
For me you have been a great help in understanding myself
Thank you